I am definitely in a bad spot with my doctors. Every time I am concerned about something they brush it off. Now, I know that I work too much, and I sleep good to try and make up for that. But, on that same token, I don't have an easy job. I don't have a job where I can just half ass it through the day.
So ... when I feel absolutely horrific and miserable and awful and "something needs to be done" ... I contact them (which with Kaiser is easiest done by email) and then they are like "Oh come in for an appointment so I can check you out." So I try to make an appointment and am told by the appointment people in another freaking county altogether that they don't have any available appointments until Monday December 1st.

Yes. A week away.

When I cough, I feel like I am going to die. It felt like my lungs exploded and ripped the skin in my back. While I'm pretty certain that's just a cartilage issue ... it still hurts like HELL! I feel worse today than I have in a few days and wish I could have stayed home. But, I'd rather have a note from my doctor since I work with some pretty extreme mean girls who would talk **** ...but I can't get in to the doctor until next week.

I am feeling like I am at my wits end. I only contact the doctor when I KNOW something isn't right and to be brushed off like a piece of dirt ... like a hypochondriac ... like someone with no underlying medical issue.

Honestly, I feel like crying because I feel like I have no one on my side.

Every time I meet a new doctor or nurse and they find out what I do they always say "Oh that is a very hard job, I don't think I could do that." I look at them funny because ... these doctors acknowledge the difficulty of my job and yet ... act like nothing is wrong with me and I can just keep taking 35 deputies lives in my hands while feeling like I might keel over any minute.

Whatever.