How are You?

[Jack]

It is what everyone asks when they meet you and I never knew what to answer so I used to say that I was OK. The trouble with that was that I lived away from most of my relatives and only ever tended to see them when I was having a good day. I was also pumped up with the steroid induced fat and healthy look so they mainly thought that I was indeed OK and did not understand some of the problems I spoke of.
I decided to change all that and when asked how I was, I started to tell the truth - not very well at all! At about the same time, my walking problems became more acute and I started to lose a lot of weight so I did not look great either. But now, I've decided to change my answer again. I think people must be getting sick of me saying that I'm not well when they ask, especially now that it is more obvious. So I'm going back to the smile and the "I'm OK" reply.

[crackers]

i know exactly what you mean jack.i too started to give an honest answer at one point but when i kept seeing the "god i'm sorry i asked" expression i reverted back to "yeh i'm ok",which was the answer they wanted to hear anyway.
john.

[Derek]

Hi Jack

I find it easier to say, I am fine thanks as, as crackers says that is what most people want to hear any way. I found if you go into any sort of detail people start to avoid you. I rarely tell my family how I feel, unless it is urgent, because A, I do not want to worry them and B, I think they would get fed up hearing about it after a while.

I find I like to keep life simple, so I just say "I am fine thanks."

Look after your self

Derek

[Doug]

Hi Jack

I find it easier to say, I am fine thanks as, as crackers says that is what most people want to hear any way. I found if you go into any sort of detail people start to avoid you. I rarely tell my family how I feel, unless it is urgent, because A, I do not want to worry them and B, I think they would get fed up hearing about it after a while.

I find I like to keep life simple, so I just say "I am fine thanks."

Look after your self

Derek

"How are you?!" "Fine! And how are you!?" It took me a long time to adjust from early concern for how I was to the realization that the most of people were carrying on social custom, not asking for the doctor's report. I've not completely broke myself of the habit of saying, "Not bad, for someone with a fatal, chronic disease!" Ha! The reaction to that reminds me that my physical appearance at this point doesn't support that response, however true in the long term. Plus, I do feel pretty good in my current "new normal".

[andrew]

I just say "pretty good thanks but that stupid rash is back". Then I offer to shake their hand. Amazing how many people take me seriously.

[Sangye]

How about (while coughing up a spleen) "Well, I'm a little stressed out. You know how it is--waiting for the tb test to come back and all?"

[Cindy M]

Hi Jack, you're right, some people, even closest friends don't want to hear about it and I should just say I'm doing fine but after being at home alone sometimes you just start yacking and yacking about it.

[Sangye]

I just can't bring myself to say "I'm fine" when I'm not. I can't lie just to appease someone.

I found an answer I like : "I'm making the best of things." I have a couple more, but I forget them right now!

[Lady March]

I've broken down how I feel into categories.

Awful
OK
Better
Good
Great

When I first got sick and had yet to be diagnosed I felt Awful.

After diagnose and started meds I felt and feel OK. (not that this is ok but it is better than awful)

I'm waiting to feel Better, looking forward to Good and can't wait for Great.

[Doug]

I've broken down how I feel into categories.

Awful
OK
Better
Good
Great

When I first got sick and had yet to be diagnosed I felt Awful.

After diagnose and started meds I felt and feel OK. (not that this is ok but it is better than awful)

I'm waiting to feel Better, looking forward to Good and can't wait for Great.

Brilliant! That gets around the "oh pity me" thing we try to avoid, and gives a sense of how it's going without burdening anyone with the endlessly fascinating detail! Ha! Good job, Lady March!