Hi everyone,

Lately, I have been looking into having a relationship again after being single for sometime. I had relationships in the past, but they never worked out.
Some of the relationships ended because of common reasons. One relationship ended, because I was going through a flare up at the time.

When the relationship first started, I have lived in Oklahoma for over a year, was in a medication free remission and have been for a couple of years. She was older than me, a single mother, and going to college. We were dating for at least a month before I told her that I had Wegeners Granulomatosis and I even brought her with to a doctors appointment. At first she was understanding about all of it and I answered all of her questions. Unfortunately, as time went by she would sometimes become upset with certain things, like joint pain and when I had a bad days then she learned that it part of the condition. Things changed after my first bad flare up after being diagnosed.

The beginning of the flare up started up after we got engaged and was planning our wedding. I was going to adopt one of her son's and were planning having children of our own. Once the flare up started up, my doctor at the time started me on Prednisone to suppress my immune system, but things quickly started to get worse for me as time progressed. She began to become frustrated and scared while I got sicker and sicker. At one point, she called me a hypochondriac, said I needed to suck it up, and how I needed to there for the children both hers and when we had ours. Those words hurt me tremendously and being on Prednisone made thing worse for me physiologically. This would me always feel like I am doing things wrong and that she was always upset with me. The engagement was eventually broken off, our wedding plans were cancelled, and I moved out.

When me doctor decided to use to completely suppress my immune system with Cytoxan or Methotrexate, but before that could happened. I needed to be given powerful antibiotics that required hospitalization. While in the hospital, she came to visit me. When she came into my hospital room, she finally understood that this was not in my head and this was a very tough time for me. Unfortunately, the damage was done and it is still hard for me to forget all of the harsh words. When back in remission, I decided to move Minnesota to get a job in the Information Technology field.

We talked to he time from time and even had dinner when I was back in Oklahoma after my father passed away. With all of conversations and even dinner. The harsh words were never really brought up by either of us.

After years of trying to have a relationship. Finding that the harsh words are stuck in my head. Effecting me when trying to talk to a woman and especially when the women has children. How are they going to handle it, when they are told I have a chronic medical condition and all things that go with it.

My best friend has been trying to help. Suggesting activities, going on a dating website, reading a book on relationships, and trying to have me work out to lose weight. Currently, I am taking 20mg of Prednisone and 40 years old so losing weight is very hard. Granted I have gotten a few phone numbers recently, but never acted on them.

Any advice for someone that has Wegeners Granulomatosis and dating?

Greg