I could use some prayers.

[Debbie C]

Well Chris it sounds like she is a fighter so do hold on to those glimmers. How old is she ? My mom is 88 and I dread the day I am in your position. Stay strong.Still praying she will pull though this

[chris.wg]

She is 64 Debra. Unfortunately my hope ended today. Tomorrow my sister and I have to decide if we stop dialysis and make her comfortable with hospice care. Or if we keep her alive in a hospital on dialysis and let the cancer we didn't know about until this Tuesday completely take her. She is in complete renal failure. And because she refused to go to a doctor, she has cancer in her bladder <the guilty mass that didn't let the kidneys drain>, abdomen, uterus and ovaries. She has told us she doesn't want to die. But she is also deathly afraid of hospitals always has been. And you can see fear in her eyes when she wakes up with tubes out of her. Our option is no longer if she will die but when and how... No should ever have to make this call about a loved one. I can't sleep as a result.

[Alysia]

Dear Chris,
my heart is going out to you.... I know too well how it feels to be helpless witness to your loved one dying.... the dread, the pain, the agony..... I have being there not long ago...
I can only embrace you in my heart...
its tough decision to make and maybe she is the one who need to make it...
please tell her in my name, not to be afraid of dying, tell her that all weggies goes to heaven... my beautiful Phil will welcome her there and show her around, she will feel peace and joy, no more pain and sufferings, no more fears.... tell her to send you white butterflies to tell you that her soul is free....
sending all my love, prayers and hugs.

[mishb]

Such a tough decision for you and your sister to make, Chris.

I am sending prayers for your mum and big hugs for you and your sister and your extended family.

I hope mum is resting comfortably and the medication is keeping her pain away.
We are all here for you

[annekat]

Chris, I am so sorry, and am with you in spirit as you go through this difficult time. Your mom is just two years older than I. Is she able to make a choice here or is she leaving it up to you and your sister? Her state of mind is in some turmoil, understandably. Her comfort is of utmost importance, and I hope some relief can be provided in a more peaceful setting than in a hospital. My thoughts will be with her today and onwards, and may your heavy heart also find some peace. I hope you can get some sleep and know it can't be easy. Hugs to all of you.

[Debbie C]

Chris, I am so sorry too hear that about your mom having cancer so bad and at such a young age. My heart goes out to you and your sister to make such a horrible decision. If the drs say there is absolutely nothing that can do and she hates hosp. maybe you should bring her home to her own surroundings. Can't she have dialysis at home ? I don't know your religious preference but maybe if you call in clergy to speak to her maybe that would bring her more comfort instead of fear. I will pray whatever decision you make that can find peace with this

[BookNut]

Chris...I am SO very sorry. I am sure you and the rest of her family will be a comfort to her. I will pray for your family as you make these difficult decisions.

[chris.wg]

Update. She is more lucid so the may be able to participate herself in our decisions. That gives me some peace. Yesterday she actually started producing urine. unfortunately this was just false hope her creatinie <spelling> levels are still rising meaning the urine is mostly water and the kidneys are not filtering. But with the dialysis she has started to show improvements. As many of you know my sister doesn't live by me so she has to head back soon for family obligations. She was mentioning to her during her wake time the 3 levels a living will entails from what the hospital gave her. And the levels of care. We wont make her sign it but my sister encouraged her to make a decision. Level 1 is the default level we are dealing with.... level 2 which we hope my mother to sign because we know she will not sign 3 and we want her to for her comfort but don't want her to for our sake. But level 2 is you get all the life sustaining treatment in the world but if no one is there to advocate for you or even if they are this paper takes precedence. There is no recessitation or ventalators <again spelling> if she passes she passes. The final one we don't think she will sign is hospice care. No life saving treatment. Just comfort until she passes.
I am grateful for all the support I have received both here and at home. Thank you

[drz]

Update. She is more lucid so the may be able to participate herself in our decisions. That gives me some peace. Yesterday she actually started producing urine. unfortunately this was just false hope her creatinie <spelling> levels are still rising meaning the urine is mostly water and the kidneys are not filtering. But with the dialysis she has started to show improvements. As many of you know my sister doesn't live by me so she has to head back soon for family obligations. She was mentioning to her during her wake time the 3 levels a living will entails from what the hospital gave her. And the levels of care. We wont make her sign it but my sister encouraged her to make a decision. Level 1 is the default level we are dealing with.... level 2 which we hope my mother to sign because we know she will not sign 3 and we want her to for her comfort but don't want her to for our sake. But level 2 is you get all the life sustaining treatment in the world but if no one is there to advocate for you or even if they are this paper takes precedence. There is no recessitation or ventalators <again spelling> if she passes she passes. The final one we don't think she will sign is hospice care. No life saving treatment. Just comfort until she passes.
I am grateful for all the support I have received both here and at home. Thank you

I feel sympathy for your situation. It reminds us all of the need to have a living will and health care directive outlining our desires so our family doesn't have to struggle with making such a decision when we are no longer able to do so. Had she ever discussed her feeling and wishes with you before she got ill?

[Urbanator]

My heart breaks for you... Know that you and your mother are in our prayers.