this bloody disease is killing

[Alysia]

I just read the thread about the death of MEustace's mom....
so I wanted to share my feelings...
which are kind of big mass of turmoil, shock, unbearble pain...
fears...
I am not afraid to die
but I am madly afraid of loosing my friends....
it is too unbearble to even think about....
my tears are just flowing without control....

*wrong icon on the title.... can't see well through the tears

[Dirty Don]

Unfortunately, death is part of this disease still...no guarantees at all yet. It does take its toll on our psyches and we have to remind ourselves of that as WG seems to 'kill' our minds as well as our bodies. Dwelling on our and others' losses does not help US in the long run. Not trying to take away compassion as it does remind us we are human, but when our compassions overwhelm our abilities to make decisions/react & act/judge, etc. we become nothing more than mere sick people trying to rationalize our own existences...toooooooo much time taken for actual living left to us. Don't cry Alysia...it's too sad...

[Alysia]

thank you Don. I can't avoid crying. but it is ok to cry. it means to be alive.
and vdub is breaking my heart with the candles....

[windchime]

Alysia rest easy in the fact that all those that have been lost are all waiting for us on the other side. It doesn't make their loss any easier to be sure, but you will see them again and they are up there guiding us down here. Cheering us on when we hit those hard won milestones and holding us when we slip just a little. It's okay to cry just don't let it overwhelm you to the point of making you sick. No one wants that to happen. Be happy for her Alysia, she is pain free and in a very happy place. Make them tears of joy.

[kieshara]

i feel so sad about this i cant eat... i am gonna try to sleep now.... hungry.. dont matter if i am hungry or not.. i just feel so sad... i hope MEustace will see the post i left... i cant even bring the though in my mind if i lose my mom....

[annekat]

Karin, it is very likely that with proper treatment, you will not lose your mom for a long time. And please keep us posted on how she is doing.

[Alysia]

i feel so sad about this i cant eat... i am gonna try to sleep now.... hungry.. dont matter if i am hungry or not.. i just feel so sad... i hope MEustace will see the post i left... i cant even bring the though in my mind if i lose my mom....

karin, your mom will be ok. you need to take care of yourself so you can hold her hand when she needs you. and we are holding yours.
after all, most of us, weggies, and still alive.