I have an issue that basically took me by suprise, and I just wonder if anyone else out there has a similar situation? I was diagnosed with Wegeners Dz. April, 1990. I was married in September of the same year. My husband was my rock, always there for me. Of course as time goes on, the disease changes, medical bills are expensive. Insurance is expensive. Dr visits, surgeries, CT scans, bloodwork, etc. get old. Its pretty much always something, sometimes there are some months that go by with no issues, then POW.....Flare Up!!! Well in 2010, my husband turned 49, he started having his midlife crisis. He was so sick of my disease, that he just couldnt take it. But he didnt tell me. My knee was literally falling apart after 3 arthoscopic surgeries and a total ACL replacement by a top surgeon in Tuscaloosa Al, who is the dr to the University of Alabama Football team. So when my ACL detached, the Dr just kind of freaked out, and so did my husband! It was the beginning of the end of my marriage. I just thought we would go to Birmingham and get my knee replacement, Me and my Husband by my side, not happy about it, but he would go through the motions. Well, Things did not happen that way. The details are still excruiciating for me to think about, but in a nutshell, he said he just was sick of all the disease issues, and could not take it. It had taken its toll on our 19 yr marriage, and he was unsure about his feelings for me. We took a 3 month "time" away from each other, I got a total knee replacement.....He got time to think, and continue his midlife crisis, and I begged him to let us get some counseling, but he was just not ready. I moved in with my parents in Mobile, 4 hrs from him. I thing I was in shock for a year!!!! I really could not believe the man I thought I was going to grow old with was gone......So as time went by, the disease and I were taken wonderful loving care of by my family. They watched me as I went through the divorce, as some of you know, can be like a death of your spouse. I felt like my entire life was ripped away from me because of this stupid disease! I was trying to stay busy, my sisters were here for me. My parents were helping me get back on my feet. Then my Mom saw that I really needed some of my own space. I needed a place of my own. So she helped me get an apt while I was trying to get my disability. I had a little old poodle I found 1 week before I left Tuscaloosa to move to Mobile, and he was my best friend. We were Buddies. He was about 12, and couldnt hear. He was very dependent on me. But I really needed that. I had taken care of a husband and stepdaughter for years, and suddenly.......that was gone. I feel the Lord put me and my Buddy, Who I named Bo, to help me through the time of transition of suddenly losing everything. We had each other! He was soooo cute, and loved me so much. I would be in the kitchen, and I would feel his little wet nose on the back of my calf, letting me know he was there, so I wouldn't trip on him. When the apt lease was up, I moved back in with my parents and decided that I would fix up a little rental house my dad had, and move in there. I could afford it, and I would have my own little house! My money would be going toward a purchase and not an apt rent. So thats exactly what I did. I had the attic totally emptied out and re insulated. I removed all the interior doors and bought new ones, new door knobs, new paint in the whole interior, new carpet, new windows! So Bo and I moved into our new little house. It was close to my parents, and my sisters. Ive been there about a year and half. Bo passed away about 5 months ago, and so now its just me. Well, I have never been so depressed! I dont want another pet right now, because of the expense and if I want to go somewhere, I have to make sure I do not stay away too long. But instead of putting the finishing touches on my house, that I was so excited to do......I just cant get started, and when I do, I lose interest, and start something else and around and around it goes! I wake up in the mornings crying! I mean, exactly that! I wake up and I am crying and drag myself out of bed and lay on the couch, sometimes go back to sleep. I do have good days. It seems about half and half. I swear, I just stay depressed, and just have a few good days! I am a good housekeeper, and my house is not dirty or messy, but I just have not unpacked all my boxes, set up my easel and painting items, so I can paint. Get my jewelry items out, and start creating again. Is there anyone else out there that are in a similar situation? I dont go out with friends, I feel like I am only Half Living. Half the time, I am doing what I need to do to be a good person in society, I get things done that I have to do, and participate in Church, family events, etc. Then other times, Im just a weekend recluse, living in my pajamas, eating food that makes me gain weight, and I just cant get control of my life! I know I try so hard to say, Today is the day! Then after 2 or 3 days, Im back in the hole. The depressed hole. I sleep for hours, days sometimes. Is there anyone out there who has this disease, lives alone, is in their late 40"s and is able to live a relatively happy life and feel like you are where you want to be in your life? Hmmmm.....after writing this, maybe I should write a book! (Andrew is probably saying "you already have! on this website!" Well, I love all you fellow weggies. I hope I have connected with someone out there. I am open to constructive critisism, ideas, other peoples stories.