What would you do ???

[Debbie C]

I am in a position that I don't know which way to turn. I live with my 86 yr old mother who suffers from high blood pressure and severe back pain after 4 sugeries gone bad. So she is not doing well. I also live with my sister who is 66 and 64 yr old brother. My brother and I moved back from Fl. to help my mother after my father passed away and my sister lived with her after she bought this house that is too big for then to take care of. Well the house is becoming smaller and smaller.My sister a.k.a. "the princess" thinks she owns the place and does nothing to help and anything she wants. I have not spoke a word to her in 2 months. And my brother always sides with her on everything and my mother doesn't say a word because she doesn't want to start trouble. So here I am a.k.a. " the bitch". I can not take this way of living any more. My other sister and her boyfriend are going back to Fl. in Oct for the winter and live at his house,so she said I can stay at her house as long as I want. I want to go Soooo bad because I can not handle the stress here anymore but than I think God gave this time to be with my mother and help her.I feel like I am stuck and it is making me sick and no one even cares about the fact I have Wegeners. Whenever I had to go to the e.r. I had to drive myself, whenever I was admitted they never called or came to see me. I just need to get away and I fear if I do than something will happen to my mother and I'll hate myself for not being here. Sorry to take up this space I needed to vent actually I need to SCREAM but it wouldn't do any good ...I tried. Thanks ya'll for listening

[BrianR]

Given the brief description of your situation, my advice, for whatever its worth, is to take your sister up on her offer and move into her house. You said want to " go sooo bad" so that's what you should do. Period. It will be better for everyone and, above all else, do not feel guilty. To me, this is a no brainer. The only thing holding you back is your own conscience but everyone will be better off.

Brian

[Debbie C]

The reason I feel guilty is because I lived in Fl. when my father was ill and no one told me how bad he was until I got a call at work saying I better come home. I saw him in the hosp. 5 min before he died. I don't want to do that with my mother.

[pberggren1]

Sorry for what Deb? We are family, that is what we are here for.

Ditto to what Brian said. You need to destress for a while so you don't have a break down. You can't be there for your mom 24/7 anyway, it is just physically impossible.

Now, your mom own's the house? The sister that is the real bitch, what does she do? Sounds like she is a freeloader.

It's not like your mom is going to be alone. The princess will be there, not sure what she actually does or contributes but maybe she could answer the phone and then your brother is there as well.

[annekat]

I agree you should move into your sister's house. You will still be close enough to your mother to see her and help take care of her? Then you will have someplace to go home to and get away from the stress and have some peace.

[Alysia]

Hi Debra.
You are a good and devoted daughter. I understand why you hesitate. you don't want to "abandon" you mom in her last years and then feel guilty about it. guilt make us sick.
is you sister's house close enough to that of your mom ? can you still take care of her ?