It appears this theme is reappearing once again. I do absolutely everything I can to remain positive and upbeat, acting as normally as possible around my family/friends/co-workers because I don't want to whine for the rest of my life. Those that are "in the know" know that I feel lousy 100% of the time, but I don't need to constantly remind people of that.
Anyway, it appears some still don't believe there is anything going on. A few weeks ago, I had to leave work early because I was quite quickly going downhill. When a co-worker found out there was a very distinct eye roll. I shrugged it off because, well, because I didn't care what she thought. I still don't.
Yesterday, I started my Methotrexate. It's a baby dose to begin with but towards the end of the night I started to feel quite wonky. I also seem to be having some major tooth pain where I just got my crown. I had been in discussions with the supervisors about the beginning of this medication and they had offered to help me if I hda to go home. I even had another friend offer to stay for me as long as she could.
So I was heading home. That SAME co-worker was like "Where are you going? Shouldn't you tell the supervisor?" I said she knew, and then there it was the eye roll and the shake of the head.
I am done.
I feel like I should send an email out to my co-workers explaining what's going on again. I did it before when I was in and out of the hospital and off work a lot because people were wondering what's going on. But, back then, they were focusing on the cancer diagnosis. So, my coworkers all look at it like I'm cured because I am in remission with my cancer. I feel like I have to explain why I may still be off work.
I would LOVE to be as healthy as this co-worker who is an expert at the annoyed eye roll. Believe me. I would LOVE it.
What should I do?
I work in a 911 center. I can't be working when I am not at least 60%. If I can't focus, I can't keep my deputies alive. I can't get the correct info from the callers. It's why they give us sick time!!!!
What do you think? Should I send out an email about it?