This week I had a meeting with a client, that I have had a business contract with for 10 years now. I thought the meeting was about various things regarding the fiscal year and my next contract. They dropped a bomb on me, they are not renewing my contract and went with another company. This kind of thru me for a lope. I realize from their perspective that they had to make that decision, (that's business). They have seen me declining with my health (something that you can't hide sometimes)and they are protecting their business. I have been putting off filing for disability in hopes that I would go into remission and everything would go back to normal. I have pushed myself all the time, as we all do, until I end up in the hospital and then reality hits. I don't want to give up, but everytime I see my pcp she ask me have you filed for disability yet. My husband and me spent the weekend at home, talking about this and he says that I'm under to much stress and thinks that this is maybe meant to be. So next week I'm going to a lawyer that does just disability claims and let them handle all the endless paperwork. I know that alot of you have had to give in and go this route with great difficulity. It's just so discouraging at this point. Thanks for listening.

Jana