John woke me at 3am this morning i had heard him shouting out thought he had cramp.He came into my room,yes seperate rooms, he was sobbing his heart out he said he cant live like this anymore.He has been reducing the steroids and he is getting all the symptons back pain in his joints and muscles weakness short of breath and that horrible cough.He has decided he wants a divorce so that i can have a life.I have told him no way.I phoned the rheumatology helpline this morning and told them he was going into hospital today for the muscle biopsy they arranged.When we got to the ward they had phoned and arranged for him to have blood tests and a chest x-ray.John said if he manages to walk to the shop when i am in work he struggles asking for what he wants because he cant breathe and talk at the same time.It is so unlike him to give in he has always been a grafter and he is finding it so frustrating.I dont even know what to say to him.I am exhausted trying to work full time and see to John as well dont know what way to turn.Sorry for whinging but had to tell someone
Sue xx
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