What is Always On My Mind

[Sangye]

I have a serious issue in my life that I've avoided discussing on here because it's such an icky situation. But it's a constant source of anxiety to me and affects how I interact in this group at times.

In 2007 our sangha connected with a man who turned out to be a felon in violation of his parole. He had been convicted of arson, battery and domestic violence and was also charged with rape. He is a skilled con-artist and had infiltrated our sangha in hopes of stealing money and availing himself of other assistance. He stole our financial records, lots of money and wound up convincing a nun who was weak in her vows to abandon them altogether and take up a life of crime with him. As we learned his true identity, this led to his re-arrest and him being put back in prison to serve out his remaining time.

He was already a rage-filled guy--actually a sociopath--and this really set him off. He's dedicated the past couple years to stalking, threatening and harassing our Lama and sangha, including me. We have a restraining order, but that's just a piece of paper.

This is his full-time job. I wish I were kidding. He spends day and night attacking us online via blogs and for the past 10 months, on Twitter. While it may look like just name-calling at times, the threats are quite real and have translated into real-life activity.

The only reason I bring this up on here is that he's quite brilliant and skilled at using the internet to hunt down details of our lives and distort it in his attacks. He's published my home address and phone on Twitter along with death threats. Given that I use my real Buddhist name on here, I'm surprised he hasn't found me.

For this reason, I never mention this group by name on my blog or on Twitter. I just don't want to give him any help, you know? But every time we get a new member, I feel anxious that it's him. He's an unbelievably good conman and researches things so he can sound authentic. He could easily impersonate a Weggie.

Sometimes I can't believe we're living with this. It's like being in a Batman movie all the time, with no end in sight. We have lawyers and are collecting evidence. Police in multiple states are involved. It's obviously not a typical thing for Buddhist monks and nuns to spend time on and none of us envisioned this for ourselves. But it is what it is, and so we deal with it.

There's not really anything you guys can do about it, but it helps me to know that you know. And if you're ever on Twitter and read my tweets about it, please know that I'm literally defending lives and not just being mean. We often come out looking like the bad guys online because he uses this holier-than-thou personality on some sites, and attacks/threatens on his others.

Just writing this has helped me some, though I've cried all the way through it. Thank you for listening and for always supporting me. The fact that I have you guys to support me with the Wegs helps me more than you could possibly know.

[Jack]

Oh Sangye. That's really dreadful! It must be putting so much stress on you and your friends.

I can't offer any words of advice, only my sympathy and to let you know that I fully understand how convincing a good con man can be - better than the real thing very often! So good in fact that I'm sure they convince themselves that the identity they portray is the real one.

Hope you can eventually get this sorted, but in the meantime my support goes out to you.

[Sangye]

Thank you, Jack. Yes, the stress is tremendous. I've always been pretty good at detecting conmen and deception, but this guy escaped all of our radar detectors. It really is as you said-- he truly believes his assumed identity is real. Between Wegs, this and the rest of the stress in my life, I'm really learning how to deal with anxiety and uncertainty.

[elephant]

Sangye wow, I can understand your anxiety. Had a several stalker's in my life, I seem to attract them....one of them was pretty scary. I was always looking back, hesitant to cross an alley...he might just pop out of no where! Slept with my light on all night and had a lock on my bedroom door. It took a long time to get over, then I moved and that helped a little. Anytime I see a man far away that resembles him, I think is that him? Did he follow me here?

[Sangye]

How awful! Have you ever read "The Gift of Fear?" It talks about how to identify potential stalkers and how to deal with them. The guy who stalks us fits into a category of "ignore at your peril." This is why we have to fight back all the time. His threats and activities escalate when he's ignored. I highly recommend the book for anyone, since it isn't just about stalkers. Wish I had read it before we met up with this guy.

[Lightwarrior]

[QUOTE=Just writing this has helped me some, though I've cried all the way through it. Thank you for listening and for always supporting me. The fact that I have you guys to support me with the Wegs helps me more than you could possibly know.[/QUOTE]

Oh Sangye, I am so sorry that you have to live with this, you have two monsters you are running from, Wegs and this creep. I wish I had some magic words to say to make it better or some advice on how to deal with it but I can't think of anything. All I can say is that I stand behind you and support you..you will be in my thoughts daily and I will send you light and energy to deal with both monsters. I am amazed, not surprised that with all you are dealing with you always have so much compassion and wisdom. We are blessed to have you as a friend, ally and teacher. Namaste Sangye

[Sangye]

Thanks, Lightwarrior. I appreciate your kindness and light.

[elephant]

I need to check that book out. Sangye thank goodness your in another state.

[Sangye]

Yeah, the book explains why some people attract stalkers and how not to. He's come here, too and knows where we all live. He's also hired help at times. I'm glad I have dogs to alert me is all I can say.

[misskay]

sangye, if you have an Order of Protection against this person and he is making any contact at all, he is in direct violation of that order. You mentioned he is also a convicted felon... which means he's most likely still on parole. Violation of an Order of Protection will violate that parole. Have you made a police report? You need to document every time he contacts or attempts to contact you, and especially any threats made whether they be direct or implied. *sorry... not on the job, but still have on the badge in my heart*