Update on pberggren

[Allisonquast]

I heard about that tonight. That is too bad, they said it was a real loss to the medical community in Calgary. I'm sorry Phil.

[pberggren1]

I need to vent or say something here. I think I am losing it. I have had thoughts of running away and hurting people. I have been praying a lot and it just seems to get worse.

And now tonight my vision is getting very bad in my right eye all of a sudden. It is like looking through a kalaidascope. The floaties are really bad for some reason. They have never been this bad. I'm actually scared about this. Good thing is I see my eye doc on Tuesday. I'm hoping this is just from stress.

I have felt a lot of stress lately. My lung doc passing away. My one good friend suffers from major depression and is bipolar and has many other medical issues. My other good friend suffers from alcoholism and I had to kick him off my pool team. He wont talk to me anymore now. And my other friend is always grumpy now. And my last friend suffers from major depression and just had all his meds changed and his wife kicked him out. My parent's health is not great either. They have many medical issues as well on top of the issues of smoking for over 45 years.

I am thinking about joining a monastery. I have been thinking about this on and off for quite a while now. I will go deeper into prayer about it and see what comes up.

[annekat]

Phil, thanks for sharing this with us. We are here for you. I'm not qualified to talk about much of what you said, but this is certainly the place for you to vent and open up about the things that are bothering you. I'll be thinking of you this evening, letting this sink in, and waiting to see what others have to say. My prayers are with you.

[pberggren1]

Thanks Anne, I think I may be wanting to have a pity party. I would like a break from it all.

[Dirty Don]

Hang tough Phil...you know where you need to be and how to get there...do the right things for you...

[pberggren1]

Thanks Don. Curious, would like a fellow Weggie to keep you company over the winters?

[annekat]

Phil, moving to a warm place for the winter might do you a world of good!

[Alysia]

Dear Phil,
going through all this is more then anyone can bear, it is really too much enough is enough.
it sounds probeble that the eye is reacting to the stress. I hope it will be ok soon.
one who is going through all this prob feels so much psychic pain and anger... maybe the anger is "expressing" itself by thoughts of hurting people.... you are a good soul. we know you will never hurt anyone. you are only human and how much one can suffer ?
I am sorry that your friends are in such a mess. you have us here. we all love you deeply and embrace you and want to best for you. we are here for you. allways. holding you. hugging you. please share with us as much as you need.

[Alysia]

I am thinking about joining a monastery.

there is beautiful ancient catholic monastery on mount carmel. please come. i will take care of you. the weather is nice. and you can teach the docs here about wg.

[mishb]

Even thought you don't work Phil, you may need to just get away from it all for a while.
You have had a lot of significant downs in the last few months and I'm guessing that these far outweigh the ups recently.

I'm not sure that the monastery is really where you want to be, but certainly a change of scenery, from the normal, would do you a world of good.

Your faith and beliefs are strong enough to see you through this without the needs of the safe haven of a monastery.

Keep a clear head and feel your prayers and meditation working with you to find a way through.

On another note, I hope your appointment on Tuesday is a good one and that there are no further issues with your eyes.

Don't forget that we would all miss you and worry about you, if you went too far