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Thread: Your Thoughts on Dying.

  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by mishb View Post
    Al, that is a wonderful story.
    He sounds like the character in a book I read called "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom.
    Actually most of the books by Mitch Albom make the "thoughts of Dying" just that little bit easier.
    Never read anything by Mitch Albom. Thanks, Michelle, for the recommendation!

    Al

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    I spent two weeks sleeping on a La-z-boy in my dad's hospital room attending to him as he did with me when I was little. My Mom came in during the day and I went home to sleep and spend time with my little boys and then came back in the evening for the night. My Dad was very open about dying and leaving us behind. We talked and talked about everything. He has shown me throughout his grave illness (multiple myeloma) what a wonderful gentleman he was. His dignity, kindness and love gave me , and still does, a blueprint for accepting my illness and how to deal with it. My Dad knew on that fateful Saturday morning that it was his last day as he said his goodbye to me and to my Mom, who just came in, he said " I waited for you". I trully hope that when the time comes, I will show the same love and acceptance as my Dad.
    Jolanta

  3. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by jola57 View Post
    I spent two weeks sleeping on a La-z-boy in my dad's hospital room attending to him as he did with me when I was little. My Mom came in during the day and I went home to sleep and spend time with my little boys and then came back in the evening for the night. My Dad was very open about dying and leaving us behind. We talked and talked about everything. He has shown me throughout his grave illness (multiple myeloma) what a wonderful gentleman he was. His dignity, kindness and love gave me , and still does, a blueprint for accepting my illness and how to deal with it. My Dad knew on that fateful Saturday morning that it was his last day as he said his goodbye to me and to my Mom, who just came in, he said " I waited for you". I trully hope that when the time comes, I will show the same love and acceptance as my Dad.
    Your Tata sounds like quite a fellow, Jolanta.

    Al

  4. #134
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    Considering what we all have or as family members you are dealing with, this is a good thread. I would say if you have loved ones then you need to do estate planning as a first, we all put it off but now it's more important than ever. As for me, I made my Peace with God while I was still in the Hospital! But to this day; don't pray for myself but rather for my family and other people whom I know are sick or worse off than myself. I don't focus on this subject but every one of us has to admit that it comes into our thoughts from time to time. We're not going to be here forever but then nobody is. Ours may not be as long a journey here as others because of the disease so we need to make the most of every day we have. We have the luxury of knowing that, where others may be oblivious. I spend each day trying to be a better person and a better Father to my children, a better Husband to my wife. I keep a positive attitude and am thankful for the time that I have with them. I have lived in many parts of the World and so I understand that everybody has their own beliefs and I am respectful of them all. Just don't give up on life! As hard as it gets sometimes, life is worth living. When our time comes it will come but keep a positive attitude about life. As a Marine we always say that Attitude is Everything! And it can have a significant affect on the way we live and deal with what comes our way!

  5. #135
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    Well said gunnyl. I was diagnosed in 2006 and yet here I am, but two of my cousins died in the last 2 years, one of heart attack and one from a stroke. Both my age. So how can I complain?
    Jolanta

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    That was very well said, gunnyl. I love that you think of others' suffering more than your own. That's the key to happiness!

  7. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack View Post
    I've been holding off from starting this thread because I was unsure of how comfortable members would be about discussing the subject. However, it would seem from the initial reaction that it is a topic many would like to contribute to or at least read and consider. It is inevitably going to include religious beliefs so if it is OK by Andrew, I'd like to wave the ban for this thread. It would be nice to think that we could consider another point of view without starting a flame war!

    Wegener's is a life threatening condition, we all know that. We have also probably considered the fact that if it has not killed us yet (true for most! ) then it may well shorten our life expectancy and quality of life. These things mean that coming to terms with death is something many of us have done, are working on or just trying to avoid thinking about. One way or another, the subject is more real to us than most even though it is a natural part of the life cycle that everyone must face at some time.

    My own experience of death has been through that of family and friends. I've seen my parent die very quickly and painlessly in old age, mother-in-law very slowly and in terrible condition and friends through brain hemorrhage and suicide. A real mixture that helps gain an understanding of how transient life is and the many ways it can end. I feel grateful to still be here after surviving Wegener's, but wonder what is in store for the future. I'm not getting any better and that's for sure!

    The moment of dying is not something I fear. I have come to terms with its inevitability and have no idea what it will bring. I have no religious beliefs to tell me the answers, but I'm sure that it will either be a great adventure or nothingness, so that would be OK too. The process of dying is something different and I fear a long drawn out deterioration similar to that my mother-in-law had to endure. I've made this known to everyone close to me so that if a decision has to be made on my behalf, they can let me go in peace and with a clear conscience. Withdrawing treatment, feeding and water is fine by me if there is no future that I would consider worthwhile.

    The problem with all the plans is that they exist in a future that I can not control. I expect that in the end, I will have to play with the cards that fate deals me as best I can. One thing for sure, I'll end up dead some day.




    And so will you.


    (Hope that went OK. I was not too sure what direction it was going in, but now the thread is live it will take on a direction of its own.)
    Okay, here is the original thread and post by Jack. If anyone wants to continue this discussion I think this is the place to do it. If I remember right the discussion did not get out of hand.

  8. #138
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    Thanks for finding this and reviving it. Gwen can re-post her comments here if she wishes.

    Nice thread in that you can see writing of both Jack and Al and catch a glimpse of why we miss both of them a lot.
    Last edited by drz; 09-06-2012 at 01:33 PM.

  9. #139
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    Life teaches us many ways to deal with fear. Some ways are healthy and others not so much. I do my best to find healthy ways to cope with all obstacles put in my path. But WOW, it's not always easy and I have made many mistakes.

    I find it interesting that we (speaking for the group at large,) recognized the wisdom of Jack and Al. I am glad that their quotes and replies are still here to serve us. I really appreciate Jack's words as posted above, as my own thoughts truly mirror such sentiments.

    I too have witnessed a prolonged and debilitating illness that led far too slowly to my father's recent death. That experience taught me that I do have choices I can make in advance regarding my own eventuality. Things get complicated when illness involves a loved one, such as in my case. I love my daughter, and find it hard to step back and let her take the reins in controlling this disease. But, I am doing the slow release knowing that she is an adult now. She is capable, and proving to be very strong.

  10. #140
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    What a thread this is. It's the first time i've read Jack's post and this thread. Inspirational. :/

    I always thought I could accept my death, but now that I have children and a husband, it terrifies me. It's not the process of dying, it's the people i'll leave behind. Awful death anxiety.

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