i have been struggling with years with just a feeling of unwell. i've been given pretty much every run around until i finally got a thoracic surgeon to biopsy my lung. the basis for the biopsy was to get a piece of a hilar mass and see why the base of my lungs appeared to be white, or collapsed on film.

shortly after the biopsy, i was told it was vasculitis. the pulmonary doctor i was seeing sent me to a rhuemtologist who was able to point at a few symptoms that lead to GPA. i have been on treatment for about 3 months now, approaching my fourth. my white blood cells have improved, my platelets have not. my pain has gotten worse.

i am struggling with the decision to continue treatment because the amount of pain i am in on a regular basis is just unmanageable. with the use of narcotics, i am only a shell of myself. i know that leaving this untreated will ultimately cause organ failure and i will die. but truthfully, i am in so much pain that i dont know what would be better.


i am so alone in all of this. i left my home state of Missouri, and moved to New Hampshire. i was also diagnosed with histoplasmosis from living in the midwest for.. 22 years.