pic from a sunny day in which he felt better and we went outside
pic from a sunny day in which he felt better and we went outside
Alysia
dx 2008
Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
"You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.
and a pic from better days, before the hospital, 3 days earlier or so ....
Alysia
dx 2008
Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
"You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.
Alysia, I'm guessing those friends are well, and/or have not dealt with serious illness or adversity. Your time with Phil in person was far too brief and unfortunately a good portion of it was when he was in hospital. Your love and your spirits are so strong that you made even the direst of circumstances happy and good for each other. Those are the memories you have. You should feel free to share them. Well-meaning friends need to let you remember and grieve in whatever way you need to and keep their judgments and/or unsolicited advice to themselves.
I'm sure if you and Phil had been to the beach and climbed mountains and gone on big adventures together you would post those pics, just as you did the beautiful photos of banff and Canmore together. If those are the experiences your friends have shared with loved ones, they're very fortunate. As it stands, this was the adventure you had and you loved each other so much you made fun even in hospital, even in illness. It's inspiring how Phil maintained who he was and the light he brought into the world despite his suffering... And although I hate to see you suffering from this loss, it is amazing that you gave him such happiness and love before he had to go... Post away! He was so happy and proud to be with you, he would definitely want to show all of his Weggie friends.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
- English proverb.
Thanks Lisa. you are very kind. I miss you on that thread and I am glad that you are still wearing the Batman suit.
I dont know if having fun at the beach or so, would have made our bond as strong, intimate, intense, precious, meanningful, etc. as it became and developed more and more, while we were at the hospital. together we made the best from the worst.
we both saw each other at the "edge" and it only made us accpet and love each other more. obviously I saw him on the "edge" many times, and was amazed from his courage and good spirits.
but he also saw me on my "edge" being so scared and frightened. for example, in one of the first nights they put a "hell coughing patient" in his room. I fought half night to kick him out of the room (which I did, and they clean the room after that man), only to find out 3 hours later that they brought another "coughing like hell" man to the room and ignored my request to keep the room clean from danger of infections (I was so right, I wish they would have listened to me, he might was still with us). at that point I kind of freaked out, became a bit aggresive and made a scene, warning them that they will pay for that. I got warning from the dr. and had to "behave". I cried an hour. Phil hugged me and said: "its ok. you can cry. let it out". and then he tried to make me laugh and said what he later said many times: "I am glad you are by my side". he is the only one ever who could stand my stormy emotionality and love me for it.
p.s. he saw all his pics and allowed me to post them here or on facebook.
Alysia
dx 2008
Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
"You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.
Alysia, I agree with Lisa entirely. Those friends on Facebook may mean well, but it is really not up to them to judge what pictures of Phil you should post. You are sweet to consider their feelings, but yours are more important in this situation. If you continue not to post them on Facebook, at least we here can still see them. I enjoyed looking at all of them today. He always has that pink phone in his hand. Is that your phone? Just curious.
Anne, dx'ed April 2011
thanks Anne, please also read what I just wrote above.
its his mother phone. day before I was back to Israel they bought him a cell phone of his own so that we can keep in touch untill I will be back, because his mom needed her.
The next picture - after I posted it - I got a very critical msg. It is heart breaking to see him with all the lines and the oxygen, but that specific hour was a precious one, in which he felt good. so good that he could made a long phone call. which was meanningful.
Alysia
dx 2008
Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
"You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.
We posted at the same time, so I didn't see yours until after I sent mine. This tells more and more about how important these hospital pictures were. Most of your face-to-face relationship took place and developed in meaning within the walls of the hospital. That is part of what is so sad, that you didn't have more time together outside of there. So you had to make the most of the situation, and did. The fact that you were there for Phil in the hospital for all that time meant everything in the world to him, you, and his family, I'm sure, and still does.
Anne, dx'ed April 2011
thank you Anne. I love you very much.
Alysia
dx 2008
Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
"You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.
I love you, too!
Anne, dx'ed April 2011
Alysia,
Thank you for sharing your pictures with us. It is your decision to post anything that you want and you should never feel that you have to please everyone. This is your journey with your loved one, Phil and whatever you choose to share is entirely up to you. The people who messaged you, think that they are helping, but they weren't there you were and you are still living that everyday. I hope your health is doing well and I wish you all the love and understanding from all your friends all over the world.
Jana
Do not fear anything, just do it afraid!
It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop!
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