Thank you so much for being with me here.
Phil made me happy and I made him happy and the sweet memories will remain forever.
I miss him all the time. it feels like hell. time does not make it better only worse, because I miss him more and more. some feelings are even too tough to share...
I want to appologize for not reading/ writing at other threads.
The forum was Phil's home. and mine. and the place we first met. and it feels so painful to come here now when he is no longer here. it just break my broken heart to more little pieces.... it is like the time I had after he passed away, when I went back with his parents to his sister's and the day after to Swift Current. I was in the Batcave. it was SO painful to be there without him. it all felt his presence but he was not there anymore. I slept, or better say, try to sleep, in his bed that night (I had the flight back in the morning) but it was impossible to sleep. this is similar to how I feel here now. it is his home here. but he is not coming and will not..... and its tearing me apart to come here knowing that he will never write here again....
sorry.