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Thread: pberggren memorial thread

  1. #871
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    2 years ago... my courageous Batman...


    Oct 1 (2014) your last full day on earth, my beautiful Phil, was a better day for you, compared to previous days. You felt better. not as sleepy as the days before. Your sense of humor was back and you made jokes and some comedy show about the scary day that before, when you lost consciousness.
    You asked me to tell you how it was again and again because you didn’t feel anything and couldn’t remember. You were amused. You rolled your eyes and made me laugh… we had a hope…


    You always knew how to make the best out of the worst, to make jokes in the midst of dread or agony or pains... and you did it mostly to cheer up the others... especially me. You knew how I felt, you always know.. you understand me without words, beyond all words..... ♡


    At the docs visit the bitch dr. said that you still might get the tube (meaning the end). I can't believe how cold she was to announce it just like that, like talking about the weather. I asked again for a WG expert's consultation. She said: "Dr. X is on his case". I said: "I don't want to be rude, but when was the last time he saw him ?" (Never). She ignored me. There was a young blond dr. who smiled at me when I said so. This blond dr., the day after, when I went to buy me something to eat not to collapse totally, knowing that its your last hours on earth, that blond dr. was there at the cafeteria. I was all tears and when I wanted to pay, I was told that she paid for me. She stood there, all tears too. Beautiful lady with beautiful soul. God bless her.


    I was madly worried and watched you very closely all day long. Dr. Paul came, your lungs dr. he was a truely caring dr. he was very worried as well and agreed that a WG expert must check you asap. he promised to call in person the one who was supposed to be "on your case". (I know his name, but calling him here dr. X). Dr. X never came. I am sure dr. Paul called him. It was more important for Dr. X to prepare his show for the day after, to the conference about treating WG which took place not far away from us.


    Our very dear Fr. McDonnell came. Breathing in great relief when we saw him coming, we were so excited to tell him what had happened. Our best friend and an angel on earth, holy and humble man, God bless our dear Fr. McDonnell.


    You couldn’t receive holy communion because the nurse didn’t allow you, after you threw up in the morning. Actually you didn't eat or drink anything since the holy communion that you got on the day before.
    You wanted to receive it without the nurse's permission but Fr. McDonnell didn’t want to risk you.
    Dear Fr. McDonnell gave you his own scapular after he saw that I was trying to wash yours, after the vomiting. you passed with it. You & Fr. McDonnell had a talk about the beauty of heaven... before he left, Fr. McDonnell asked me to call him if we will need him at any hour…. None of us knew if it was going to be, and that it was going to be so soon…
    ......


    Today's readings: "rejoice in this, that your names are written in heaven" (Luke 10:20)


    ......


    …...... Before the evening came, you threw up again. we had a dumb nurse, She just set there, chewing gum and doing nothing…


    but I was with you… and you were with me… you held my hand all day with your warm good hand. You held me and I held you. You always said: "we have each other". You always said: "just hold my hand". You were so sweet, so beautiful, so cute, so loving....


    You were really tired when the evening came… being awake all day long, and worried…. many questions… how are you going to make it…. I comforted you .... I made you smile… your sweet melting smile..


    I saw that your sats are dropping for no reason and I called the dumb nurse, but she said that it is just because of the angle of the bed and she made it higher.


    you fell asleep peacefully with your sweet smile, holding my hand.
    I was worried, watching your sats, I was afraid to wake you up, so I was just sitting there, holding your good hand, looking at your beautiful face, inhaling your sweet smell, praying............


    until I was also tired…. So I wrote you a note. We always left messages to each other.


    The night nurse looked like a good one and she assured me that I can go to sleep. She promised to give you my note when she will wake you up for your night medications. she did.
    I didn't know that I will never again talk with you on earth.


    .......


    If only love could have healed, you would have being the healthiest man ever..
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  2. #872
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    Alysia -

    Love exists beyond all place and time. You are living proof.

    Thank you for sharing.

    --Becky

  3. #873
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    Sending you hugs and prayers
    💕💐💕🌺💗
    Your sister in Christ
    Gab

  4. #874
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    Thank you for your beautiful words Becky & Gab. You are so kind. God bless you ♡♡
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  5. #875
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    2 years today since you have entered into eternity.... my beautiful Phil....


    Our favorite hours on skype were around your midnight (my early mornings), you loved to joke that at midnight you become a pumpkin....


    ........


    It was again around midnight...


    Oct 1 (2014) at about 23:30 (Calgary time) you stopped breathing on your own during your sleep. They connected you to the breathing machine (the dreaded tube).. they sedated you.. you didn't wake up through all these. I believe that you didn't feel any of these... your sufferings came to an end.


    I was still sleeping in my room, 4 buildings away, knowing nothing..


    Oct 2 (2014) at about 03:00am (Calgary time) I woke up, scared to death, strong fast heartbeats, from knocking on my door at my room in the hostel. shaking all over I opened to the security man who asked: "are you Alysia ? Is your boyfriend in the ICU ? You need to go there". I asked him to wait a min and to walk with me. shaking all over, from cold and from dread. we walked to the ICU. 10 min walk. The security man gave me a chewing gum to calm me down. He was a kind man.


    When we arrived to the ICU the bitch nurse (the one who gave you rtx not according to the protocol) stopped me and didn't allow me to get into your room. I said: "Don't be cruel to me, not now". But she was. I waited outside the room. Totally shaking. The night nurse came and told me that you stopped breathing during your sleep. They were still working on you.


    I called your parents. They came so fast. I needed them. To hold each other. Otherwise I would have being crashing to the floor...


    Then we were allowed into your room. You were so pale... you looked tired but so beautiful .. with all the machines.. and the lines...


    Your always warm hands, my sweetie, were now cold and I knew that you are no longer with us...


    Oct 2 (2014) at about 08:00am, morning, (Calgary time) our very dear Fr. McDonnell came. He said that it is a special day, Feast day of the Holy Guardian Angels.


    He prayed for you the most beautiful prayer I ever heard, describing how the Saints and Angels will be soon welcoming you into heaven......


    I think it was the Litany of the Saints.


    Tears flowing... we stood around you, your father, Daryl, hugged me with his strong arms, reminded me of your strength & courage even in the thoughest moments.... he have raised you so wonderful over the years to be THE Batman... your beautiful mother, Donna, with her good caring eyes, so much like the goodness & compassion in your eyes... her goodness, love, caring & kindness which have raised you over the years to be the kindest sweet soul I ever knew....


    .........


    Oct 2 (2014) at about 10:30am morning (Calgary time) you flied high, with your Batman's wings, straight to heaven. fast. no pains. Peacefully.


    Embraced by tremendous love.... enveloping us with your love & Faith.


    .......


    ... all tears, I kissed your beautiful forehead and I told you:


    "goodbye sweetie. I love you".


    you still had your sweet smell....


    .......


    "the Lord gave,
    and the Lord hath taken away:
    as it hath pleased the Lord
    so is it done:
    blessed be the name of the Lord".


    (Job, 1:21)
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  6. #876
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    Amen. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
    You will be with your sweet Angel in eternity.
    Rest Alysia - be gentle with yourself.
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6

  7. #877
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    Thank you for those who come to this thread and remember my sweetie. I copy a tribute that was written to my beautiful Phil a day after he passed. I found it again today....

    The pool world (whole world for that matter) lost one of it's finest, yesterday, Phil Berggren of Swift Current, Saskatchewan. Phil died of a rare disease called Wegener's Granulomatosis. I met Phil a little more than a year ago in Helena, MT at The Decider challenge match between Earl Strickland and Shane Van Boening.


    Dear Phil,


    I am so grateful for our late-night conversations. We talked about the things we loved. We talked about traveling. We swapped pool stories. Mostly, we talked about the things that REALLY count... a man's character, principles, service and God.


    When we spoke of your illness the only words I could find were, "Fight Phil. Fight!" and you would just remind me of what it is to do God's will. I don't know if my words were the correct words, but, fight you did!
    You won my friend and now that fight is over. You won a monumental fight with love in your heart, not an ounce of self pity and nothing but goodwill and kindness to those around you. Breathe now, Phil. Just breathe.


    We spoke, on occasion, of our pool heroes. I have my own personal "Hall of Fame". It's in my head and in my heart. It is just for me. There are no plaques or trophies, only memories. You will not find straight pool record setters or U.S. Open champions there. The champions enshrined there taught me what it means to live and play with heart. They showed me how to win with honor and lose with grace. They taught me that to be a true winner I must first help those around me to be winners. They had faith in me. The list is short and I loved each of them. Phil, you have made it into my personal "Hall of Fame".


    For those of us so privileged to know you, our hearts are heavy right now. I suspect, though, sometime in the future that the weight will transform into something wonderful. Not just gratitude and fond memories, but, a lifetime reminder of who and what we should all hope to be. You brought more light into our world than I thought possible for one man. You will be sorely missed by so many.


    You get to breathe now, buddy. Just breathe, Phil.


    Goodbye, for now.


    Your Friend,


    Andy


    To all of Phil's family and friends... My deepest sympathies and prayers.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  8. #878
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    That was a beautiful tribute!!!
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6

  9. #879
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    What a lovely man.

    Thank you for sharing his letter with us
    Keep Smiling
    Michelle


    Live your life in a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip - WILL ROGERS

  10. #880
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    I've played for a few pub pool teams. Would have loved the opportunity to have a match against Phil.
    Perhaps when my time comes we can team up as doubles partners
    Diagnosed April 1995

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