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Thread: pberggren memorial thread

  1. #861
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    Beautiful poem!

    Sent from my MotoE2(4G-LTE) using Tapatalk
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  2. #862
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    WOW - I love this poem! So beautiful!!!
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6

  3. #863
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    St John's Church Wurzburg batman.jpg This is St. John's Church in Wurzburg, Germany. The locals refer to it as the "Batman Chapel"...
    Pete
    dx 1/11

    "Every day is a good day. Some are better than others." - unknown

    "Take your meds as directed and live your life as fully as you can." - Michael Chacey, MD

  4. #864
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    St John's Church Wurzburg batman.jpg This is St. John's Church in Wurzburg, Germany. The locals refer to it as the "Batman Chapel"...
    LOL
    I love it!
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6

  5. #865
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    St John's Church Wurzburg batman.jpg This is St. John's Church in Wurzburg, Germany. The locals refer to it as the "Batman Chapel"...
    Wow ! That is totally gorgeous ! I bet Phil loves this place me2 ♡♡♡ Thank you ♡♡♡
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  6. #866
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    "So also you now indeed have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice; and your joy no man shall take from you". (John 16:22)


    23 months today, my beautiful Phil, since you flied high with your Batman's wings....


    Do you remember, sweetie, the night times at the hospital ? No matter how late it was, how tired I was, how though our days were - it was always so hard for me to say goodbye to you and to go to sleep 4 buildings away...


    No matter how tired you were, how stressful we had it all day, how sore you felt, how much breathing it costed you - you didn't go to sleep without talking with me, your sweet caring loving talk, always checking how I feel, if you behaved well with me over the day (of course you always did), making me warm feelings in my heart & security in my soul....


    Soul embracing soul... in the little night light, it was only you & me in our babble... God embracing us.


    ~♡~♡~♡~


    .... then before I went to sleep, I prepared for you around everything you might have needed during the night... water, the button to call the nurses, your phone, the boxes to keep your "ears" in...


    And in the mornings I walked so fast, straight to you... even just to see that you are still sleeping, just to breath your melting sweetness, to be near you...


    ~♡~♡~♡~


    When I had to fly back to Israel, we were both so scared... I told you that it will be like those nights - I prepared for you whatever I could.... I told you that it will be like going away at nights and coming back in the mornings...


    ~♡~♡~♡~


    God allowed me to be back... It was actually in the middle of the night 02:00AM... but for us it was another morning... you waited for me, even though you were very sick... in the ICU....

    ~♡~♡~♡~


    Since God have taken you, it is night again... long long night without you on earth, dark & cold & lonely...


    ~♡~♡~♡~


    You as well, before you walked away, have prepared for me whatever I will need during this night.... you have prepared me, for me, & with me - to hold me with priceless gifts of eternal love & true Faith ♡


    Untill our morning will come again, to hold each other, for real, and never let go. It will be heaven.
    Last edited by Alysia; 09-03-2016 at 03:54 AM.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  7. #867
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    This is So beautiful Alysia. Thank you for sharing your love for Phil with us
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6

  8. #868
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    2 years ago... sweetie, my beautiful Phil....


    Sep 30 (2014) was a scary dramatic day, you sure remember, my sweet eternal love. We almost lost you at that day. God took you for few seconds and gave you back to me, for another day and half on earth.


    We had scary and frustrating days in the ICU. I was so angry at the docs for not taking good care of you and I set a meeting with the principal dr. of the ICU in order to insist on getting a WG expert's consultation. Although I asked for it everyday, they dismissed me. One dr. even dared to tell me: "I am an expert too". Although she was not.


    Weggies friends, try not to let arrogant & at the same time ignorant docs, to treat you without consulting with real experts. Its your right & their duty. It can be a matter of life & death.


    Always, when watching me fighting for you, sweetie, you used to tell me with your cute melting smile: "I am glad you are by my side"..


    I was madly worried. The last 3 days you were very sleepy, drowsy when awake, foggy. You ate almost nothing.


    Our very dear Fr. McDonnell came. Holy & humble man. God bless him. Dear Fr. McDonnell came almost every day during those weeks in the ICU. Each time he came for more then an hour. First he said a prayer. In Latin & in English. Then holy communion. Then he was sitting with us. Talking. Our best friend. With his wisdom & compassion and tremendous kindness & caring. Each time he brought us an intersting story and bible verses to lift us up, to strengthen our Faith. Before he went, he said another prayer.


    In the midst of the dread, the arrogant docs and the cold nurses, Fr. McDonnell brought us Faith & hope. I am forever grateful to him. I thank God for sending him to us and I pray for him everyday.


    Fr. McDonnell was also very worried, seeing you like that. You could hardly talk. You worked so hard all the time just to breath. Like running non stop on a treadmill in a crazy speed. Sweating all the time. I changed little towels to wipe your beautiful forehead, they came totally wet. Its amazing how beautiful you looked through all those sufferings. Your good blue eyes so beautiful and big and pure. Your sweetness melting my heart in each & every moment... the few words that you were able to say were your sweet loving words.


    After you have received the holy communion you were able to sit a bit higher and to talk for a bit. Your face was shinning. You were always shinning in a special light after receiving holy communion. We didn't know at that time, that it will be your last "food" on earth.
    Fr. McDonnell told us that on the cross, Jesus too, hardly breathed. He also related to the bleeding in your hands from all the pokes of the nurses, like Jesus's bleeding hands. Later you will also have bleeding legs. With your chest tubes, you had bleedings in all the places of the 5 wounds of Jesus. I am always amazed and full of awe from that.


    Before he left, dear Fr. McDonnell gave me his cellphone number and asked me to update him and to call him at every hour.


    About an hour later (15:00 Calgary time) the ICU dr. came to the room to talk with me, as I asked before.
    God sent him in a perfect timing. It was a matter of seconds. Greeting the coming dr., while always checking your sats, I saw that the sats are dropping down for no reason. I asked you: "what happened sweetie ?" You didn't answer. I saw that your eyes were rolling. At that point the ICU dr. called his team and very fast they started to work on you with a balloon mask, to make you breath again. A kind lady, respiratory therapist, made it. She was a good one.


    I can't tell how much time you were not conscious. I stood there, shaking all over, crying, praying so strong. I thought that you were dying....


    Then you were back. They put you on a bi-pap machine. I was glad it was not the tube because we knew that the tube meant the end in your case.


    They said that the machine of the Fentanyl, was not ok, and that you got overdoze of it. That's why you were more sleepy in the days before.


    Later I understood that the machine delievered hydromorphine in your last days. They changed the med. Weggies friends, never allow to give you neither of those murderous meds. Its not only pain killers but also patients killers. It suppressed the breathing and eventually leads to death.


    When you were back to us, the dr. talked to you. You couldn't talk much back, being on the bi pap mask and still catching your breath back. But you answered by squishing my hand, once or twice according to the questions.


    We all smiled in relief when after you were back, you fixed your "ears" to hear better the questions of the dr. It meant that dr. Phil was back in charge. And you were always totally cute when you fixed your ears...


    You were still on the verge of "sinking" back to unconsciousness and I held your hand and asked you to squish it all the time, to respond. To stay awake.
    You were a good boy. You held my hand for hours since that moment. I can still almost sense your touch in my hand. Your warm good hand holding mine....
    In the meantime they tried to insert line to check your blood gas. They poked you and poked you, deep, and in vain. You were bleeding in 2 hands and 2 legs from that. It took about 3 hours until they were able to insert a line, one in the leg. They didn't dare to tell me to wait outside. I was in with a sterile mask.


    I held your hand and talked to you all that time, to make sure you remain with us. The room was a mess, lots of blood everywhere.
    At a certain point you asked through the mask of the bi pap: "Did I have a rough day?" It turned out that you remembered and felt nothing from the last 3 hours. I was relieved to know that you didn't suffer all that time.


    I think that God allowed me to know that, for what was about to come, that in the day in which you will pass, I will know that you don't feel any pain.
    So I told you what happened. I remember your wise look, through all the mess around, with bleeding hands and legs, above the bi pap mask, the wise look of dr. Phil, thinking about it all. Calculating the situation. And then holding my hand tight, this time not only for yourself but for me as well. You knew how I felt. It was not only me holding you. It was also you holding me, not less. Your good hand, always gave me feeling of security. If you held me, nothing bad could have happened to us...


    I didn't want to go to sleep until I couldn't stand anymore, but I made sure that you were in good hands. There was a respiratory therapist whom I trusted and he promised to watch you closely.


    On my way to my room I praised God.
    I though that the worst is over.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  9. #869
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    Dear alysia,
    Thank you for sharing Phil's beauty and courage with us. I felt like I was right there with you reading this post. You must be having lonely days right now. I am sending you love and hugs and want to remind you that you will see Phil again and he will be strong and healthy and he'll give you a big hug. 💕💕💕 until then know that your friends care for you.
    God bless you,
    Gabrielle

  10. #870
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    I cant thank you enough for your kind words, Gab. Made me tears & smile at once... God bless you ♡
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

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