pberggren memorial thread

[debra]

God bless u,Alysia! Phil lives forever.. No death,just a much better place,with a perfect body.... That Phil deserved...... Deb.

[Alysia]

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I changed my avatar to a picture of that magical moment, holding my sweetie for real for the first time... I think I wrote about it somewhere... never weary of telling again...


July 9, 2014, 1pm, I was sitting in the crowded Ben Gurion Airport, waiting for my flight to Canada... to hold my beautiful Phil for real, for the first time. Its a trip of at least 24 hours door to door but the first one was even longer...
while I was waiting at the airport all the airplanes were still on the ground because of 3 succesive attacks of shooting missles from Gaza at the airport. War.

I was not afraid. I knew that, even if not for me, God loves my pure Phil, and he will bring me to him safely. I trust God.

After long delay we were on the plane, with change in the trip, landing in Ireland for fueling. They were afraid to fly under the attacks with full tank. I didnt care much. I took a sleeping pill and went to sleep....

sweetie, here I come...

We arrived at Tornoto in a delay of more then 3 hours, which meant that I missed the second flight. My sweetie was already on his way to Regina to pick me up from the airport. It was about 22:30 at Toronto. next flight was only in the morning. So I talked on phone for the first time with my seeetie (until then we used skype).. last time that I talked with him on the phone, btw, was also from Toronto airport, when I came at the second time, I didnt know it will be the last...

I slept in a hotel in Toronto only about 2-3 hours. Being SO excited, getting closer to my sweetie... and at about 04:00 I was already on my way back to the airport. Not going to miss that flight.

And then... when I was off the airplane in Regina airport, going on the second floor I saw you, my beautiful Phil...
I was running down the stairways, faster then the wind, jumping into your good arms...
Sweetie, you were more beautiful for real then on skype, the most stunning, handsome, good looking man on earth ♡♡♡♡
your embrace was a perfect fit... after all we were born to love each other... and your sweet smell was the best I ever inhaled... no woman ever was so blessed and joyful as me, being in your good arms...

We still had a long drive to the batcave, but the minute I was with you, I was in heaven... already...



Next time that I will be coming to you, my sweet love, I will have to climb the stairs up, to buy me stairways to heaven... to be in your good arms again.. and never let go..
It will be heaven. Forever.

[debra]

Alysia,beautiful... You're a wonderful writer... Such beautiful memories Alysia,you're very lucky.... I love u,my special friend...... Deb.

[Alysia]

2 years ago, my sweetie went for another bronchial dillation. It was number 5, while all the previous, but one, ended with tough lung infections. Before this dillation, dr. Phil understood that something was wrong about it. His wg doc prescribed him 2 antibiotics to take before, to prevent an infection, but his lung doc at that time, dr. Dave, insisted on his way. The result was another bad lung infection. It marked, I think, the begginning of the end, because after it, Phil's breathing never recovered back to where it was before that dillation...

I was so scared at that day. Praying so much. All the time. My sweetie was not on line almost until his midnight. Then he came and told me how sick he was. He said that he feels that his end in near. We cried. He was afraid of dying without ever meeting me for real. He asked me to hold him forever.
I ask him to hold me forever.
I thank God for allowing us to meet and to share some time together, for real. Every minute was pure treasure.

Weggies friends, dont let your docs treat you in a way that you feel or know that is wrong. It can be a matter of life and death. Like dr. Phil used to say: "at the end of the day, we have to be our own best docs".

[debra]

Alysia,you write beautiful.... I love u,my special friend... Xo. Deb.

[Alysia]

Alysia,you write beautiful.... I love u,my special friend... Xo. Deb.

Thanks Deb for your kind words & love. It means a lot. We are blessed to have you with us. Sending lots of love & prayers to you ♡♡♡

[Alysia]

Someone wrote: "I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more". So true.

We all have that feeling that someone can bother us or irritate us, by some behavior, some talk, the way he chew etc., even our kids.. but I never had it with my beautiful Phil. There was nothing about him that irritated me. I only wanted to be with him, near him, no matter when or where. Every minute. The more I knew him, the more I loved him. The only conflict we ever had was at holocaust day and we made peace in half an hour. I knew his weaknesses and secrets, I saw when he pissed of people, being a soldier of traditional catholic Faith, I saw him teasing or flirting, but I always loved him. Every second just more & more. Every thing in him. With all my being. Still do. I love my sweetie with every beat of my longing heart.. and hopefully, when I will join him, I will love him in a perfect way, for all eternity.

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.....and then, there was me. My beautiful Phil knew me like no one ever did, or will.. all my fragillities, wounds, dark secrets, sins.. everything.. when I was afraid to become unlovable to him (like I felt and knew I can be) or that he will even not be able to bear me anymore, he said: "I can bear you with much love and respect to all of eternity". He still does ♡♡

[debra]

Alysia,I love that picture.... So sweet... God bless u... With love,me. Xo Xo

[Alysia]

I saw my wg dr. Yesterday. After discussing all things, and after he told me that he is consulting with dr. Jayne from UK (Geoff's and Sam's dr. ) I dared to ask him if he also knows dr. Senyo Tagboto. Dr. Tagboto saved Phil's life couple of times between 2010 to 2013. Since dr. Tagboto left swift current, my beautiful Phil started to get worse all the time. His new wg dr. Was not good. I have no doubt that if dr. Tagboto was still his dr., Phil was still alive. When he was dying in the hospital we tried to find dr. Tagboto for consultation. Lisa T tried hard for us. But she couldnt find him. Maybe he left Canada. Since dr. Tagboto worked before in UK I thought maybe my dr. Knows about him, consulting with, so I asked him, at the end of the meeting. My dr. Said that he never talked with him but that he read his article about wg. I wanted to say: "its my sweetie in the article !" But I became speechless... enormous "rock" stuck in my throat.. holding my tears untill I got to my car, to cry silently all the way back home... I miss my sweetie.....

Progressive dyspnoea following the treatment of Mycobacterium abscessus infection in an individual with relapsing granulamatosis with polyangitis (Wegener?s), complicated by hearing loss requiring cochlear implantation

[debra]

Alysia, my sweet friend..... Please don't be upset,at me when I say this? You're my friend, and I love u, so I know u will not.... No matter what any doctor, did or did not do, infection or no infection, it would not matter, much in the outcome, because it was Phil's appointed time.... God neede Phil at that time for his own reason. Something only Phil could accomplish for God... Phil did so much here, while suffering in his earthly body. God was ready to reward him, and give him his new perfect body... U will have youres some day... And u will see him there,perfect... Gods will will not be interrupted by any doctor or anyone...... I love u Alysia...... Peace and love, Deb. XOXO