Originally Posted by
marta
Alysia, have a safe trip home. Take care of yourself and heal some before taking on anything big. Take care of your own health and your family back home. You're on my mind and in my heart much.
I have to share this experience with you all because in the spirit of Phil, where we share booger size, amount of blood in our various bodily excrement, etc. this was what I woke up to this morning.
I didn't go to Calgary this week (for the Vasculitis Conference or to see Phil) because I got smoked with a nasty flu and have been at home dealing with symptoms very similar to those at onset. I haven't had one of these for a very very long time. One of said symptoms is a very stuffed nose, sinuses and lungs. So I've had a hard time sleeping with the symptoms. I wake up often and then have a hard time going back down. This morning, after a couple of wake ups, I had a dream that felt so real I woke up crying. It was me in my dream, but in hindsight I feel like it was Phil coming by to show me, and it all revolved around not being able to get enough oxygen into my lungs. I was trying as hard as I could, but with the wheezing, and the inflammation and phlegm that was going on (moreso in my dream than in real life) I felt like I was slowly drowning. I was trying to ask for help from Brian, who in my dream was beside me in bed, but in reality wasn't, but my words didn't have enough oxygen to hold on to in order to escape my body. I woke up in tears, and my heart just melted for Phil. I really feel like he came by to show me what he was feeling near the end.
He was the first Weggie I met in person, in real living colour. Phil and I saw things differently often and butted heads a lot, but we also shared a lot in common. It wasn't so much the outcome that Phil and I saw differently but more the approach. He did everything he did because he wanted to save people. He wanted everyone on the planet to be 'saved' - both physically and spiritually, and he took it upon himself to get to that end the best way he knew how. Phil took a big hit from this disease, he has suffered from it a very long time at the hands of many incompetent doctors and some great ones. Too bad that he got stuck with the not so great ones in the end. This disease however also gave him a circle of friends truly global, not something many others in his Saskatchewan town can boast. It also brought him together with the love of his life, who I can say pretty confidently surpasses the love and understanding anyone near his home could have afforded. There are blessings in everything, even something as gross as WG or GPA, and we have all been blessed to know this little Batman from Saskatchewan, who got his moniker by hanging a dude upside down over a bridge to protect the honour of a female friend. He and I shared WG and a stubbornness beyond normal, which is why we butted heads so often, but he is now with some greats up there, watching over us all.
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