Having a huge vent here. Our stress levels have risen to the intolerable. Husband just walked out saying he is scared he may hit someone if things don’t change so he went for a walk instead. (He was much calmer on return)
Background which I have already posted on Alysia’s stress thread is that our son who suffers from Schizophrenia is having a psychotic episode. Sadly he doesn’t believe it and thinks its all religious persecution and in his paranoia is convinced everyone has ganged up on him and is telling lies about him.
He lives in a supported residence and the start of all this was that several residents complained that he was preaching non stop mainly at night and they were actually getting scared of him. One young staff member (a trainee of 18 who seems to be left in charge on her own in the evening with 25 residents some elderly some mentally ill) rang the owners and alerted them to the fact that things were getting out of control. Our son was told he needed to stop talking religion in the public areas of the residence. They rang me and asked had we noticed a change in him. Every time he becomes psychotic the religious behaviour becomes fanatic and we have experienced it many times that it feels to us like persecution when he pursues you everywhere wanting to get his point across. So many years ago he was told by his psychiatrist he was not to discuss religion with his parents and amazingly he has adhered to that (mostly).
Anyway he flat-out refused to stop preaching at his residence saying it was his right with freedom of speech and freedom of religion and if the residents (his very good friends) would say to him personally face to face we don’t want to hear about religion from you he would not preach to that person. Trouble is they appear to be all too scared to tell him and so he thinks the staff are lying and making it up so he feels the victim here, not the perpetrator. The other complication that appears to have been sussed out by the psychiatrist is he had some kind of attraction towards this 18 yo staff member who accepted many gifts from him giving him the feeling she “liked” him too but when it came out it was not true he felt terribly rejected. So that may well have been the trigger to push him over the edge. Wouldn’t be the first time in his life. Relationship issues have often caused severe nervous breakdowns.
The issue is the Residence called the crisis team who had him assessed by a Psychiatrist who decided he was not “ill enough” to be locked up in a hospital and after much coercion they managed to get us to agree to have him live here for 4 days whilst they treated him in our home.
It has been a very stressed out 4 days and I can feel the stress pushing me over the brink. Not that he was totally in our face all the time. He retreated to our patio most of the time listening to music or watching movies. Any discussions always ended up at the same end road. He flatly refuses to change his attitude and behaviour because he doesn’t believe he is sick. This morning I tried to explain to him (after he asked me) what symptoms we saw in him that could explain why everyone thinks he is sick and he doesn't, and in the end he became aggressive (verbally) and had me in tears so my husband told him to leave the room. I tried to explain it to the Crisis team and they have admitted that he has not improved since being “treated in the home” but are making no move to have him hospitalised.
Anyway fast forward. At lunchtime my husband took him back to the residence and drove off. Within 5 minutes of arrival he pounced on one of his “very good friends” the most timid and gentle person there and demanded to know if he disliked him preaching. This chap was too scared to admit it to his face and the owner came along and saw him shaking in his boots so she told our son its’ either shut up about religion or ship out.
He interpreted that “I have been thrown out of the Residence”. Then had the cheek to borrow 100.00 of chap he had just confronted and jump into a taxi and head off.
His longterm plan is to find a caravan park, hire a tent site for 39.00 a week (which by the way he can’t afford) and live in a tent. Being a hoarder he then has to get rid of an enormous amount of stuff (the only positive so far in this mess). IT’s winter here and within days he would have pneumonia is my view.
Anyway that’s his plan. I was contacted by all and sundry (case manager, residence owner) and sitting here wondering where he had gone when an email arrived asking me to ring his brother to see if he could spend a couple of nights there whilst he found this tent site. His brother had already emailed him after the same request was sent to him last night that this would not be possible and seeing he wanted to be independent he could start learning independent living skills by managing to live out his month’s notice in the residence, keeping the peace whilst he found some alternate accommodation. Well that didn’t work too well.
So I told him no you can’t go to your brothers place. Main issue is he would be too far away from his treatment team, his brother works shift and studies full-time so is hardly home and his brother’s partner suffers also from depression so my older son doesn’t want to put her through all this trauma as well. Which I fully understand.
So all I could say to him is come home. He said “I don’t want to live with you guys” I said nobody asked you to just get here until we can sort out what’s next and you get a chance to see the CAT team.
Now we are waiting for him to come. The CAT team are waiting for me to call them. I have no idea if they will finally agree he needs more help than a couple of extra pills a day. So not sure where to go from here. I am absolutely puzzled that we as parents who have known him since his diagnosis in 1994 and who he lived with until last year and the owners and staff of the residence he lives with all can see he needs help yet the team who are treating him deem him not ill enough to be re-assessed in a hospital. That would be the only environment where thy can observe him 24 hours not just twice a day for a few minutes
Other issue is I am to go down with the Pred today. Waiting on my Rheumy to ring and I want him to agree to let me stay on 30 mg at least another week as I was just starting to feel the benefits when all this started and now I feel like I have been through the wringer. I am also struggling with getting my blood glucose under control. In the last week my insulin has gone up from 10 + 8 to 18 + 16 (take it with lunch and dinner) and as I am being careful with food all I can think its the stress or the illness still grumbling or flaring Some good things are that my sinus issues are improving, my breathing has finally stopped being a loud rattle and the cough is all but gone which I see all as a result of less gunk running down the back of my throat into the lungs.
ok … end of vent.
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