stress is not good for us

[Debbie C]

Inge,what a terrible time you are going thru and I am so sorry that no one seems to be able to get him the help he needs. Hopefully like you said the new meds will help. Did they give him something to sleep more,than maybe you can sleep and relax. I do hope you are right, that he won't come to the point to self harm or hurt you in anyway. Hopefully he will get the help he needs soon.

[LisaT]

Hi Inge, I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time with your son. I can't imagine the stress and fear when he's feeling this way and his caregivers decide they can't care for him! I wonder if you might be able to find someone he could trust to help him at home for the time that he's there? It sounds to me as though people are passing the buck because he's having difficulties and causing them difficulty... But those very difficulties are supposed to be their specialty. I think it may be time for mama bear to start making some noise. Maybe with a few buzzwords suggestive of liability or lawsuits thrown in for good measure. If g-d forbid something happened to him or anyone else while they've basically kicked him out of a mental health facility for having, shocker, mental health issues, heads could roll. Maybe someone with the power to do something about this needs a gentle reminder of that fact. I'm sorry if you came here for empathy and I'm telling you to fight. It's my knee-jerk response to such unjust situations. I hope he feels better very soon and you can all get back to some semblance of peaceful routine knowing that he is safe and cared for somewhere other than your home. Hugs to you in the meantime.

[Alysia]

Praying for the safety of all, especially you and your family and our weggie family in Israel. Be safe.

thank you. my family don't leave in the area that is being under attack. touch wood.
I went to vacation, to visit Phil in canada, and when I was in the airport there was rockets attack on the area of the airport, so the flight arrived in a a delay of about 3 hours. but I am safe now. Phil say Hi.

[Alysia]

Tanks DRZ Anne and Cindy. We had the Crisis team member visit last night for quite a while. They intend to come 2x a day and we can call on them more often if needed. They are putting him on very high doze meds to calm his mind hoping that will settle him enough to start to see reason. Right now he is totally non rational in his thinking and going around in circles thinking everyone has it in for him including his parents. He believes staff members are telling lies about him and how dare we believe them not him. All part of his paranoia and psychosis right now. I told the nurse who was here that he is far more ill than they are making out and she seemed to agree when she listened to him for a while however on some level he still has himself in enough control so they feel hospital is still not warranted. They don't believe he will self-harm or harm others. There is no history of physical violence, just mental aggression when he gets out of control, which can be hard to take.
Anyway with all the help we should be able to cope and hopefully with the extra meds he will start to calm down.
Sounds like the trigger for this are a bit complex and we may need to investigate what happened at the residence. Anyway first thing is to get him well enough to see reason.

Thanks for your kind words and support.

Hi Inge, I am sorry for you tough time with your son. it is heart breaking.
I worked in mental hospital for couple of years with psychotic people as a clinical psychologist. as far as it sounds weired, please check this principle which I found out to be true: in every psychosis there is little core of truth. if you find it, recognize it, declare it to your son and take responsibility for your sharein it, ti there is one, then it can reduce the psychosis. if you need more help about it you can send me pm.

[Alysia]

thanks every one for your support about my divorce. the marriage was not with love over the 15 last years and got bad the last 5 years, the last 2-3 years I was getting sick, literally, from it. the divorce was a process which was taking place for a while, and as it was getting closer, the stress was bigger. but now it is over and it is great relief.

[Alysia]

I apologize for not writing much at the forum in the last few days.
you are all in my toughts and I love you deeply. thanks again

[ingemlb]

thanks Debra, Lisa and Alysia.

Debra they gave him a sleeping tablet prescription which we got for him yesterday. He took one at 9pm but I know for a fact he was still awake at least 2am in the morning so it's not doing the job. As to help the Crisis team come twice and and give him extra meds. He is quite calm and so it's easy to get on with him but it's just difficult to move his train of thought and he sees no illness but persecution

Lisa I have mentioned court a few times. We want to try to get him a guardian allocated which would mean a lot of red tape for anyone dealing with him but a lot more protection as people won't be able to simply evict or threaten eviction without getting the guardian's approval. However he HATES the idea of having a guardian. He wants MORE autonomy not less and he has heard from others that they lose all their freedoms once they have a guardian so when he heard us mention the word he totally freaked out. Also if we go back to the tribunal he will have to sign agreements and in his current mood it's unlikely he would agree. Also I am not sure if I am up to all this stuffing around needed to go there and get this all started again

Alysia what you say makes a lot of sense. Peter feels like he is being lied too. I am not disagreeing but the people doing the lying are more likely the ones he thinks are his friends. The staff are telling him the other residents are complaining about him preaching to them all the time. He says nobody told me only one resident said he didn't want me to preach to them and I stopped. If the others who are my dear friends would tell me I would stop preaching or discussing scriptures. We are all trying to explain that people who are his close friends (and not that well themselves) may not want to tell him as they may think they would offend. So he said in other words they go behind my back? Then he asked the Crisis team member do you mind if I preach to you. The chap said: I do and I don't want you to preach to me. So our son Peter said "See how easy it is. You say no and I won't preach".

Yet when I explain to him that the rules for him to return to his room are that he would avoid speaking about religion in public places so that everyone has their peace (and he likes the residence he lives in as he enjoys the peace and the fact that everyone leaves him alone) and explain also that he can go down the street and preach to whoever he likes he states dogmatically "God told me to preach to the residents in the villa and nobody can stop me. I know my rights. This country has freedom of speech and religion". but he refuses to acknowledge that the others have just as rights as he has.

So in a way he is right. His friends should simply not encourage him but tell him please stop talking religion. Maybe that would fix the situation. From what I hear from the owners of the villa the person who is his closest friend is a bit of a mischief maker and has been doing a lot of the complaining behind his back. She is an elderly lady who makes out she is a doctor but was actually a nurse. She has been very kind to our son and even cooked for him but apparently they have a lot of issues with her. She is coming to visit Peter here on Monday so will see what transpires. He claims she encourages him to discuss religion and they have lots of talks so I can understand why he refuses to believe people are complaining about him and that the staff are making it up and lying. Trouble is when he is psychotic his religious preaching gets totally out of control and can feel like persecution. So he is definitely displaying symptoms of being unwell but there are also other issues going on in the background that are contributing to this

But I have found another thing I can agree with him about so will try that out today. Thanks for the advice Alysia Glad you made it back safely and that you had a chance for a holiday!

[annekat]

Alysia, thanks for your explanations about recent events. It is understandable that you would not be on the forum much during all these changes. I'm so glad you made it out of Israel safely and are now enjoying the beautiful scenery of Canada, and Phil's company. You really needed a break and a change. I'm glad you are free of the stress of an unhappy marriage; you deserve much better. I'm also happy to hear that your family is out of harm's way in Israel, and yes, I'll touch wood to keep it that way. (In my circle, we say "knock on wood", so I'll do that, too.) I've been thinking of you a lot and love you very much, as does everyone here. I know you will keep us posted on your adventures in Canada. And some pics, too, please!

[BookNut]

I apologize for not writing much at the forum in the last few days.
you are all in my toughts and I love you deeply. thanks again

I hope your vacation time will be relaxing and will put lessen your stress. Have a terrific visit - both you and Phil! And am also glad to hear that you and your family are out of the danger zone - touch and knock on wood BIG TIME! Breathe....relax...even take a (short) break from the forum. Just check in now and again so we know you are still relaxing. You deserve every calm moment you can get!

[Alysia]

I hope your vacation time will be relaxing and will put lessen your stress. Have a terrific visit - both you and Phil! And am also glad to hear that you and your family are out of the danger zone - touch and knock on wood BIG TIME! Breathe....relax...even take a (short) break from the forum. Just check in now and again so we know you are still relaxing. You deserve every calm moment you can get!

thanks Jacquie and all the others. I love you so much how can I take a break from the forum, I am the adicted one it will just take me more time to read all the threads and post back like I usually do.
p.s. Phil is even more amazing in reality then in the internet and canada is beautiful, so wide and peaceful. I slept today like I didnt sleep in years.