stress is not good for us

[gilders]

Hope you're feeling happier soon.
You're always one of the first to lend support and reply to people when they're feeling down.
Hope you realise you're well appreciated!

[ingemlb]

sorry to hear your are struggling with stress Aysia. I think the really bad stress is the type when we feel helpless to actually fix the problems causing the stress. My emotions are very unstable and I now know when it threatens gets out of control I need to take a valium to calm down. Sometimes now I take one before I go to an appointment that could become stressful. And I find it helps slow me down a bit.

But you are right. Stress is very harmful for all of us. Hence it's good to get help. I still see the Psychiatrist once a month and today my husband and I are starting counselling sessions again. We have ongoing stress both with coping with this illness and also coping with having a son who suffers with Schizophrenia. I tend to stress out over him at the slightest provocation. A good example was last night. And a good time I should have taken a valium but didn't . Our son lives in supported accommodation. That uses up most of his pension. He has very little cash that is given to him 2x a week to buy snacks or toiletries or cigarettes (he tried quitting a few times). He gets $25.00 twice a week put into his bank account by the State Trustees who manage his money. Well he decided to adopt a child via world vision so that was going to mean once a week they would take 15.00 out of his account. Anyway. Telecom managed to install a free phone line into his room so that people can call him. He can't make calls as he wouldn't be able to pay the bill. We also made sure he has a monthly internet account which is paid for by the State Trustees and doesn't affect his weekly cash amount (they adjusted the cash to allow for the internet bill). We bought him a laptop computer so that when he is out and about he can get online and get in touch with us. I also put some money onto his Skype account so he can make phone calls that way.

Last 2 days I can't ring him. His phone appeared off the hook. I managed to get hold of him on Saturday by ringing the office. They put him on and he told me there was something wrong with his desktop so he couldn't get onto the internet. And because last months he used up his gigs on the mobile internet account within the first 3 weeks he has decided to only use his laptop when he comes to visit us so that he is not using up his allowance by having all his software updated on 2 computers. Well ok. But now means when he roams around we can't hear from him. I told him to put his phone back on the hook. Yesterday his phone was still engaged. I rang the office back and was told he seems to have gone out. I rang Telecom and asks them to check his phone line and was told it appears there is a fault in the line so they will send a technician. Before I went to sleep I rang the office where he lives and was told no he had not come back.

So by now I was in quite a state. Absolutely no way to contact him. No idea where he is hanging out. He occasionally spends the entire night in the city. It's quite cold at the moment. I kept hoping he would catch a train to our place but no show.

It's times like this I live on prayer. But it doesn't always restore the peace. Our son is 41 years old now but his illness still makes him behave more like a teenager. He is on a lot of medication for his mental illness. I find it very hard to cope the nights he chooses to hang around the city

I found in the past my counsellor was extremely helpful in helping me cope with these stressful situations. This is just one example of where stress is caused by factors out of my control. Had I taken a valium I probably would have slept through the night

So I guess we all need to get help to develop coping strategies not to let life's stresses cause flare ups of the illness. Sounds to me from what I have read here in the forum that stress is one of the biggest triggers

Hope you are feeling better today Alysia. Love to all ... Inge.

[LisaT]

Inge, you are an amazing mom and your son is fortunate to have you. It seems that some families who have a family member with a mental illness like your son's can't handle the stress and end up throwing their hands in the air. You take such good care of him. I can't even imagine how much stress it puts on you when you can't reach him and make sure he's okay. I know from just minor ailments how hard it is when your child isn't well and you can't fix it for them. I applaud your dedication and your self-care to make sure it doesn't get the better of you.

[ingemlb]

Thank you Lisa for your kind words.
I thought I better add that the next morning I managed to trsck down my son. All the time I was stressed out of my brain hecwas fast asleep in his bed!!!!

[Alysia]

Hope you're feeling happier soon.
You're always one of the first to lend support and reply to people when they're feeling down.
Hope you realise you're well appreciated!

aww thank you so much, Pete, for your kind words and heart warming support.
I miss you around. how are you ?

I am feeling better today in my soul. more encourged. still I didn't sleep well at night, I had pains in my lower back on the sides (kidneys area ? because of the uti ???) and stomach aches. but the antibiotics is already working.

Thank you so much everyone for making me feel much better. I love you

[Alysia]

thanks Inge for sharing. my heart is aching your sorrows and fears.
I wonder if it is possible to give your son a cell phone to carry with him all the time, this way you will be able to call him whenever you are worried. we need to think about you, and how to prevent you from such a stress. I can only imagine how frightned you were ! I bet I was getting all my hair white in a night like that.
I think that you are an amazing mother and that he is blessed to have you. I still remember his touching and beautiful poem.
take care. lots of hugs to you and to him

[ingemlb]

thanks Inge for sharing. my heart is aching your sorrows and fears.
I wonder if it is possible to give your son a cell phone to carry with him all the time, this way you will be able to call him whenever you are worried. we need to think about you, and how to prevent you from such a stress. I can only imagine how frightned you were ! I bet I was getting all my hair white in a night like that.
I think that you are an amazing mother and that he is blessed to have you. I still remember his touching and beautiful poem.
take care. lots of hugs to you and to him

Thanks Alysia. Glad you are feeling better today Yes I have wished in vain for 20 years that we could give Peter a mobile phone but he has a phobia about mobiles and refuses to use them

[BookNut]

So sorry that stress is getting you down Alysia. I hope you can take some time out and follow LisaT's advice on another thread...the one about what have you done for you today. iT is great if you can get a whole day to escape...but even if you carve out an hour or two a day to do something that you LOVE to do, that would helps so much. Take care of yourself!!

[Psyborg]

Alysia, I understand the stress thing completely. Felt good yesterday until I had a really stressful day at work. Slept terrible last night and all sorts of body aches this morning. Starting to think I need to avoid moving even remotely towards management lol.

[Alysia]

Thanks Jacquie and Bob.
I think that the challenge is that we need to find ways to escape from the stress, first of all inside our souls, because sometimes it is still out there, in the outside.... untill better days will come...
Bob, the "payment" is def in the body. pains for sure I tend to get infections....
some days I wish I could have "ears" like Phil's ears, so I can "take them OFF" and not hear things that add to the stress....