Wegener's and pregnancy

[Debbie C]

That was a very interesting story. I will also have to download it. Glad everything turned out well. How is your wife today with wg ? She is very lucky to have you. Best wishes to the 3 of you !!

[Barry Forshaw]

Wow. Thanks for your incredible words LisaT.

Alicia is doing well at the moment. She is very tired as all new parents are, I guess! Alicia was due to have another dilation on Friday but after getting there at 7:30am and waiting until after 12o noon we were told to go home as the operation was cancelled. Two children were taken in as emergencies, so we can't complain. So it's Monday instead.

[Lilly]

Thank you for your kind words Barry, The Lord has really helped me deal with the situation of not having children of my own. I have much to be thankful for, and I LOVE to hear stories like you and your Wife, it warms my heart and makes me happy there are people out there that have been blessed with a child. I have been blessed in other ways! My Mother has gotten the book I believe on her Kindle or ordered it from Amazon. I cant wait to read it! Take care, ~

[LisaT]

Barry, I just finished the book and am so glad everything worked out and Alicia and Audrey are both doing well. The part about breast feeding and night wakings reminded me of some things that could help new/young parents.

I practised 'attachment parenting' and was up breast feeding on demand all night, every night with both of my kids. I slept when they napped and tried to take care of myself, but in retrospect I didn't get nearly enough rest or breaks to stay healthy myself, and took attachment parenting to an extreme that wasn't good for me and in the long run likely contributed to my already wonky immune system freaking out even more. For new or prospective parents who already have this disease or other autoimmune issues, it is crucial to have good support in place and do whatever it takes to get your rest-- nanny, taking turns with spouse, bottle feeding, whatever it takes (and I hate that the nurses and others make moms feel guilty if they can't breast feed, or can't exclusively breast feed, or choose not to... It's so unfair when most moms are trying to do the best they can for their baby, and may have other considerations or medical issues that make it difficult). You can meet all of your baby's needs and still meet your own too, but not singlehandedly. I failed to make the distinction between providing attachment and security for baby, and providing that attachment and security all by myself. The baby is happy in someone's arms--they don't always have to be mom's. Mine got used to breast feeding on demand and being with me, so they wouldn't take bottles and wouldn't let dad be their comfort (while they were babies). Biggest parenting mistake I've ever made (and there are tons more where that came from! ) thought I'd share in case it could help anyone who's at that stage.

[Alysia]

Barry, I just finished the book and am so glad everything worked out and Alicia and Audrey are both doing well. The part about breast feeding and night wakings reminded me of some things that could help new/young parents.

I practised 'attachment parenting' and was up breast feeding on demand all night, every night with both of my kids. I slept when they napped and tried to take care of myself, but in retrospect I didn't get nearly enough rest or breaks to stay healthy myself, and took attachment parenting to an extreme that wasn't good for me and in the long run likely contributed to my already wonky immune system freaking out even more. For new or prospective parents who already have this disease or other autoimmune issues, it is crucial to have good support in place and do whatever it takes to get your rest-- nanny, taking turns with spouse, bottle feeding, whatever it takes (and I hate that the nurses and others make moms feel guilty if they can't breast feed, or can't exclusively breast feed, or choose not to... It's so unfair when most moms are trying to do the best they can for their baby, and may have other considerations or medical issues that make it difficult). You can meet all of your baby's needs and still meet your own too, but not singlehandedly. I failed to make the distinction between providing attachment and security for baby, and providing that attachment and security all by myself. The baby is happy in someone's arms--they don't always have to be mom's. Mine got used to breast feeding on demand and being with me, so they wouldn't take bottles and wouldn't let dad be their comfort (while they were babies). Biggest parenting mistake I've ever made (and there are tons more where that came from! ) thought I'd share in case it could help anyone who's at that stage.

I don't think that it was a mistake, Lisa. babies do need total devotion of their mother. you only helped them to build strong self. and breast feeding is also good for us. I had wg smoldering without knowing about it, b4 I gave birth to my little son. I was breast feeding him 14 months and at that time I felt great and I didnt have ANY symptoms, that I had b4 or after.
BUT when the kids are growing and are not babies anymore, then come the time to say: "now its my turn".

[LisaT]

I don't think that it was a mistake, Lisa. babies do need total devotion of their mother. you only helped them to build strong self. and breast feeding is also good for us. I had wg smoldering without knowing about it, b4 I gave birth to my little son. I was breast feeding him 14 months and at that time I felt great and I didnt have ANY symptoms, that I had b4 or after.
BUT when the kids are growing and are not babies anymore, then come the time to say: "now its my turn".

I don't regret breast feeding or attachment parenting. My son still sleeps in my bed! �� my only regret is that I didn't carve out time for enough rest or break and ended up totally depleted. If my babies had learned to take a bottle (even pumped breast milk) from my husband or babysitter, I could have taken care of myself without denying them anything, and they'd have bonded more with their dad sooner. I don't dwell on this, what's done is done and I may have ended up exactly the same position either way (my immune system has been grumpy my whole life). I just wanted to mention it in case prospective or new parents reading this could benefit from the suggestion of not taking attachment parenting to such an extreme. In Barry and Alicia's situation, she was too exhausted and depleted and chose to give up breast feeding. The nurses made her feel guilty. I find this very common here; women are judged for their choices even when others don't know the situation or reasons behind the decision, which is so unfair. In some circumstances breast feeding is not possible or is just too taxing for the mom, in which case she probably already feels bad enough about it that she doesn't need people judging her and making her feel like less of a mother. That's why I made the comments about breast feeding choices. Sorry I wasn't very clear. And thank you for your reassurance and words of wisdom.