Pity: Party of One

**NikkiNicole** · 03-18-2014, 01:33 PM

I've about had as much as I can take.

It goes above and beyond my illness. It does have a little bit to do with it but the big picture is making things a lot worse.

As far as Wegener's patients go, I think I'm in pretty good shape. Let me refrain, I'm in a good position. I just have a lot of fatigue and malaise, but the other symptoms seem to be under control. I'm off Prednisone and was looking forward to FINALLY getting my life back on track when the appendix issue came up. So then I was knocked down again, I missed work, my husband missed work so we got behind money-wise.

Someone made a comment about work that I can't help her anymore because I don't work graveyard hours. I can't have kids but everyone is getting pregnant. Every time I think I'm getting a hold on things, everything falls apart again.

I go back to the punishment. Am I being punished for some reason? I lived a good life, I treated people with respect. I didn't use drugs, break the law, hurt anyone. I am a good person. So why does everything keep happening to me?

I'm having a pity party. It's one of those days where everything sucks.

I'm sorry but I just needed to vent.

**Jaha** · 03-18-2014, 02:13 PM

I'm so sorry you are having one of those days, we all do from time to time. I'm sure that all of us get so discussed being stuck in this broke busts and discussed mood. Pleas don't let it make sick things and moods change, thank God! Keep your pluging away at improving your health. I to sometimes what I did to deserve this, the truth is nothing it happened. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

**annekat** · 03-18-2014, 03:51 PM

Nikki, I "liked" your post because I like that you took the opportunity to vent with no holds barred. It has really been very little time since your appendix removal, and that would be a huge thing for anyone, especially a person with WG, to recover from, fatigue-wise and otherwise. The people at work who make thoughtless and insensitive remarks are just that, thoughtless and insensitive people. The arrangement you have worked out not to do night shifts is what works to keep you on as the valuable employee that you are, and anyone who can't see that is an idiot. As for people having babies, well, good for them, but it doesn't make them royalty or anything. I know women with WG have had kids and don't know why you can't; maybe it is too personal to talk about. But you can adopt children in need, continue to be a loving mom to your pets, work for animal or child welfare causes, whatever you want, all in good time. The appendix is gone, you are off pred, and yes, it sounds like you are doing very well as a WG patient. You just need time to get back on track. Ignore those people at work, put blinders on and just do your job. No, I don't think you are being punished for anything, and yes, I think there will be better days ahead for you.

**Alysia** · 03-18-2014, 06:43 PM

oh. sweet Nikki, I understand your sorrow. it is true that you have being through too much the last year. you really deserve some vacation from all the diseases and worries of life. what can I say ? thanks for sharing. I hope that the vent helps a bit. and I hope that better days will come soon. at least your WG sounds better. and in time you will have sweet kids and will be a great mom.

**windchime** · 03-19-2014, 12:40 AM

Nikki I'm so sorry you are feeling down. You did pick the right place to vent though. Here your friends are supportive and we can gather you in our virtual arms and hold you close giving you mass amounts of love. Things will get better just keep the faith. Go to your safe, happy place in your mind when you start to concentrate on the bad stuff. This will give the good stuff a chance to come out and blossom for you. I hope you feel better today when you get up. Many blessing to you along with some hugs of course.

**Debbie C** · 03-19-2014, 01:09 AM

Nikki,don't think u are being punished..bad things happen to GOOD people all the time,S*** happens and there is nothing we can do to change it. Just realize when u are feeling down that there are SOOOOO many people that have it worse than you. You are able to get out of bed in the morn.,breathe the air,and see life around you. You have been thru alot,but u have come thru it,u are off pred (which is a big thing ),alot of people are in debt ( that's the American way ) but as long as u have food to eat and a roof over yr head u are good. Cheer up and go for a walk and I hope u feel better soon.You are a good person that helps people everyday.

**renidrag** · 03-19-2014, 01:50 AM

What she said.
Dale

**Pete** · 03-19-2014, 03:47 AM

The title of this thread indicates that you can still see some (not much) humor in your situation. This dumb disease forces all kinds of indignities upon us. Some are laughable, while others are not so much. Hope you can find something to laugh, chuckle, giggle, or guffaw about soon.