you don't look sick

[Alysia]

we are talking about it here and there...
I just needed a thread for this frustrating relating...
when people don't really know how it feels like... so they are demanding.... doubting.... making judgements....
but I know that you know how it feel like ....

[windchime]

Alysia I so know what you mean. I feel the frustration and sadness in your post. Remember that we can only be us, we have NO control over others thoughts (and will go crazy trying to or wishing we could) . I think you easily pick up on or are very sensitive to others emotions/feelings which makes you very empathetic. This is definitely not a bad thing, but can leave you vulnerable to emotional overload at times. Have you tried shielding to protect yourself from the energies of others? This may help you to some extent.

I hope tomorrow brings you sunshine with wonderful supportive people around you.

[renidrag]

After the weight gain from meds and idleness, people I have known for some time see me (knowing I have been ill) say "you look great"! I guess I looked like crap seven years ago. I just let it go. They have no idea and really hope they don't ever learn.
Dale

[Alysia]

I think you easily pick up on or are very sensitive to others emotions/feelings which makes you very empathetic. This is definitely not a bad thing, but can leave you vulnerable to emotional overload at times. Have you tried shielding to protect yourself from the energies of others? This may help you to some extent.

I hope tomorrow brings you sunshine with wonderful supportive people around you.

thank you Cindy. you are sweet and kind to me. I have "thin skin". I can't be otherwise.
wonderful supportive people are just here, in my weggie family

[annekat]

Alysia, you are usually so upbeat and positive, full of love and caring, that it is hard even for me to think of you as sick sometimes. But I know you are trying to get above it by being the sweet person you are. I am completely sympathetic, knowing that you suffer more pain and discomfort, and fatigue, than you let on. It is hard even for me to shake the feeling that I must be lazy if I just don't feel like doing anything. I don't know if you ever feel that way, but I hope you are able to find some real "down time", to rest and be away from responsibilities, in order to lower your stress level and give yourself more of a chance to shut down this crappy disease we all have, and all the related things you are going through. Much love to you!

[vdub]

This has been a topic that has been covered quite a bit and it never hurts to bring it up again, especially for those who have just recently been diagnosed. Most people on the forum will agree that the "you look great" comment is the most frustrating part of gpa. Typically, we do "look great", aside from having gained a lot of weight, but they have no idea how tired we are and how much every movement hurts. They don't know what we go through to just climb out of bed in the morning and reach for our drugs. I have a sister-in-law who is convinced (and tells others) that my diseases are "not a big deal". Very maddening!

[windchime]

thank you Cindy. you are sweet and kind to me. I have "thin skin". I can't be otherwise.
wonderful supportive people are just here, in my weggie family

I don't think you have thin skin, you are sensitive. I like that terminology better. There is nothing wrong with sensitive, but as you know you need to monitor what you take in. If not you will get an emotional overload. I so don't want that to happen to you. Be well. ​All for you sweetie.

PS I'm having one of those days where I look fine, but I'm feeling weak and tired. I just continue to fake it.

[pwc51]

The more 'normal' a life you lead the less people tend to understand. I fortunately managed to return to work fulltime and, most of the time, it is the best thing as it keeps your mind off 'things'. There are still plenty of times when it is a real struggle and I am probably my own worst enemy as I try to hide it!

As for 'you look great' - I have never been an adonis so why would they say that to me now, it rings a bit hollow!!!!!

[MikeG-2012]

I think we all have to deal with getting tired of telling people how we are all the time, right? Therefore, we clam up and don't say that we feel like _______, when we do hurt. Then, people think we're not sick. ARRGH!!!!

i think we all deal with sick and tired of being sick at very frequent intervals.

You are not alone Alysia, not by a long shot!

[annekat]

I tend to take "you look great" as a compliment, though later I may think "little do they know......" But I have encountered others who go on and on about their illnesses and maladies, and it gets tiresome. I find myself doing it a little with people I know will listen to me... then I try to shut it off, because I know that people who talk about their health issues all the time may be seen as hypochondriacs. It is a sticky problem. In the end, we must deal with this alone and won't get a lot of sympathy if we are out in public doing things. It might take a crisis, with us in the hospital, for people to realize we have something serious.

Anyway, maybe I have an inflated sense of how good I look, and like to think of myself as looking pretty good despite being a Weggie. People saying "you look great" confirms it, and gives me encouragement, which I guess is why it doesn't bother me so much. But I also see the flip side of the coin, and a lot can depend on who says it and how they say it.