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  1. #51
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    Neha,

    Michelle could not have said it better. I'm so glad to hear a little more about you. I wish you could shake this guy out of your mind. I know it is hard, and I hope that the passage of time will do the trick. But that will be important time for you to focus on your own well-being, both physically and emotionally, and perhaps to pay more attention to those who love and need you, your mother and brother. It doesn't sound like this guy deserves such an important place in your consciousness.... the people who truly love you do deserve that. And you yourself... I'm worried about your blood pressure and other health issues. It sounds like you have access to good medical care and I hope you are making the appointments you need to address these issues. I'm glad to hear you will see a psych soon and hope he will be a good fit for you and will be helpful... I know that process can take some time, too.
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  2. #52
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    yes i kno bt den i dunno smhw its all affecting me insyd n killing me each day...i feel so bad n hurt insyd wen i recollect al d thngs he said to me..wen i put in my heart n soul for him n d relation widout ny expctatns n al dt he said was he wasnt happy being wid me..he said wid me hes temporarily happy bt wid her he is alwys happy...n dat he nevr used to lyk to come n meet me at all...he alws made me feel n said dt he nevr got to stay a free lyff bcz of me..bt i fail to undstnd dt isnt it obvious i wd expct thngs frm him as my bf n spcly wen i dont kno dt hes going arnd wid dt female as well behnd my back???...it ws his mistak dt he manipulated thngs to hide dt frm me n to please her...n yet he blames me..he blames it sayin he ws wid me in a relationshp jus fr my health so dt d breakup dsnt affct my health...each tym i tok bd d attachmnt he dsnt accept d fact dt he equally is attachd to me,,bt jus fr dt gals sake hes ready to evn frget dat attachmnt...n ech tym he says dt i blackmaild him statin my health resns for him to b wid me...today i feel so hurt n alone..dt i did so much for him despit my illness n today hes so busy wid hs own ppl n happy wid dt gal dt he dsnt evn hav dose 2min to spare n kno or calup if m evn alive or not..smtyms i feel it was dt plannd by him wid dt gal tryin to find ways to kick me out of hs lyff....it affcts me mentally...m broken..n goin back hme i feel sorry for my mom for she waits to cc my smyl at d end of d day...i cn cc dos hopes in her eyes dt she wants to cc me d way i was,,bt here i am goin back wid a sad face n eyes...a hopeless female or buffalo lying on d couch....shes got me all pocbl thngs on earth to lose weight bt am also hlpless dt i feel drained.....i so very feel bad..

  3. #53
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    Hi Neha,

    Take a look in the mirror - there, yes her.....that person you are looking at - she is your reason for living
    .........she is also your competition - the only one that you have to worry about.

    Please don't worry about this other girl or about this bloke that has treated you so badly. Neha is the only one that matters in this.

    A read something the other day that said ............ there are 100 reasons for you to go back - but there are thousands of reasons for you to continue forward.


    Today you woke up.....therefore it is a good day.

    Neha, what I'm trying to say is - don't worry about yesterday, or last week or last month ........think ahead, and think about you............YOU CAN DO IT
    Keep Smiling
    Michelle


    Live your life in a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip - WILL ROGERS

  4. #54
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    Hi Neha,
    my heart is going out to you. I think that you deserve to have a boyfriend who will be loyal to you and who will treat you with respect and love and caring. not less then that. if your boyfriend is willing to do it, then stay with him. but if he can't or doesn't want to, please don't stay with him.
    no one is allowed to hurt you. your life are precious. insist on being in good relationship.
    you are not alone. we are with you, holding your hand. take care and continue to write.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  5. #55
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    I would add that it is always OK not to have a boyfriend for awhile. Then you will be free to meet the right one when he comes along. I have been through something like what you are going through, a long time ago. I do remember the pain of it. It is true that time will heal wounds, but you must find positive ways to occupy yourself in the meantime. I, too, am very sorry you are going through this and hope you can find ways to rise above it.
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  6. #56
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    I have not personally experienced your serious health problems, but I can say that I have grieved deeply over broken relationships. On hind sight and with time (and not as long as you think), I found myself relieved that that person was not in my life anymore. If a relationship does not feel good, do not give it your energy. You should only allow people in your inner circle who are supportive, make you laugh --it shouldn't feel like work. You will find your 2nd wind. There are many friends and great experiences in your future that you haven't even dreamed of yet.

  7. #57
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    hi frienz..ul hav no idea as to wat kind of emotional support ul give me wen m down n wid utmost desires of suiciding or ending myslf.as i said i was to go to d psychiatrist d oder day..i did go n d scenario out der was indeed scary.my mom was equally scared...smhw i ws feeling vulnerable as to in wat state i am in today..lyk being a dr myslf m amngst d psychiatrically ill patients.wid great courage i went insyd n was carrying a list of things am expereiencing.the dr der told me to read out dos things n i jus cdnt speak out a word.i startd crying.den aftr sometym he strtd askin me my issues.to my surprise he gave me a book to read in wch d signs n symptoms exactly matched wid wat i was facing.he then said dt wat i am going thru is severe depression wid psychosis n mania for wch hes prescrbd certn meds.i havnt strtd takin dem yet cz in acute stages they induce rader aggravate d suicidal thoughts n my mom is scared fr me...i dunno smhw right frm d tym i open my eyes d thots racing thots cm to my mind...it al recollects hw smbdy humilitaed me..smbdy poked at my illness,,,making me feel inferior at my college or being biased jus cz m nt dt phy active or bright cz of d disease n bp issues...people jus try to pull me down,,n i recollct hw bad my guy md me feel by comparing betwn me n her,,in d initial stages when he hd told me bout her..sayin she luks too good,,many ppl r after her...wen i hd spoken of y he treats me dis way n is so affctionate for her..he hd replied saying " u cn say shes lucky....i smhw felt bad...dat m i sooo unlucky???not to be loved by him?..mayb m nt dt pretty or gud lukin n nt many ppl r after me lyk her...bt dos dt mean watevr thngs i did for him frm d depth of my heart holds no value??????...evn if i jus questn him askin dt y hasnt he msgd me in so many days he replies barging at me sayin when i had told u i wil not be marrying u den y ru teling me boud suicide n stuff..y do u expct love n care frm me wen u hav ur mom n bro,,i jus feel so helpless n hopeless,,i dunno hw to not feel for him,,he fails to und d gravity of my flngs for him,,he dsnt realise dt who odr gal wd hav bn wid me evn on tokin terms aftr so much of abuse hurtin n humiliation?? d very resn m stil der is d fact dt i love him a lot n dnt wna lose him...der ws a tym wen he also said he wd nevr lose me or brk contacts wid me...bt at tyms hes evr ready to kick me out jus for dt bloody gal...it hurts

  8. #58
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    Hi Angel, I'm glad that you were able to see a Psychiatrist the other day. Did he/she give you any specific way in which to begin the meds since they can aggravate your symptoms? It's really great that they were able to give you a diagnosis and that you have gotten through that part. Do you have another appointment? Stay with it as it looks like this will help you heal as soon as you can begin with the meds. They will hopefully bring things under control and life will look a lot different to you. Hugs to you.
    Cindy



    Earth is just a stopover and whatever you achieve there is only a small part of the deal. The Afterlife Of Billy Fingers


  9. #59
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    Hi Angel
    thanks for updating us. some of yours psychiatric symptoms can be caused by the meds you are already taking.
    I understand the need to be careful with the psychiatric meds, not to make you commit a suicide.
    I think that the best option to you now is to be admitted to a hospital for couple of weeks and only there to start the meds. this way they can monitor your state and keep an eye on you. also to take a better care of your wg.
    I am sending to you my prayers. stay safe.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  10. #60
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    Hi guys...bak on d blog aftr long tym...bt had to write on ds...iv been hospitalised for the last one week.was sufferng frm very high fever n fatigye....d fever wd come on wid chills..initualy it was low grade bt dn I had been to pune..a city out here in india.thot dt an outing mite help me cm out of depressn n fr moms sake.went to osho park......bt dn aftr cmin bk my fevr wrsnd.....so thot I btr gt admittd..Was feeling a bit low as m al alone here wid no relatvs n frnds visiting me....missing my dad as I lost hm in d same hosp....my bro is also nt here. .its just me n mom...feel so bad dt ppl whm I helpd n who msgd me fr deir wrk n stuf hv no tym today to msg n enquire og my health....al mean ppl....n d guy whm I lovd so much id also nt boderd if m aliv or nt. ...I so feel vry hurt....dr hs dne a battry if tests....nw lets c wat hapns n jus pray d fevr goes away soon...

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