What would you do ???

[drz]

Look at it as a holiday Deb.

Go and stay at your sisters while she is down in Florida, it will do you a world of good.

It may even take some of the stress of the others - I don't really mean that.......what stress are they having What I really mean to say is that maybe then, they will realise what you did for your mum and they will have to step up and help out whilst you are not there.
You should however, keep dropping in on your mum (for your own peace of mind) for a cuppa and a chat, and then go back to the other house to relax.

Imagine what you could do, without the others hassling you

DO IT

I like the idea of coming to see your mother as a visitor and not as the primary care giver. Let the others step up for awhile and carry their share too. Your turn to play visiting princess.

[Debbie C]

Thanks everyone for your input and for being more understanding than my own family...the problen is its would be a couple thousand miles away,so I wouldn't be able to just drop in. But I definatetly think I need to get away ,even if it's for awhile, because I feel like I am ready to have a breakdown ,all I do is cry anymore. My sister told me last nite she wished I would just keel over and die and never wants to speak to me again.She is the only one of us kids that had kids herself and she is back seeing her ex-husband.But she won't move out cuz she has it too good here...She watches her grandkids during the day and comes home to supper ready. So she said her family comes first no matter what. And it seems what ever she says around her goes, no one wants to stand up to her except me.

[andrew]

Deb. Get out of there. There are times in life when it's good to be selfish!! You need to look after number 1. No one else is going to do it for you.

[gilders]

OK. I see it's not as simple if it's a couple of thousand miles away. But a month's break will hopefully be long enough for your sis and bro to realise what you do and hopefully long enough for you to return with a bit more sanity and a little more recharged.

Your sister can't moan about you not been there for a month, after all if you took her advice and keeled over and died, you'd be gone much longer than a month.

Although your mum doesn't like to say anything in case it "kicks off", she surely must know how you're been treated and would probably support you in a decision to have a break. If she doesn't support your decision she doesn't deserve your help anyway (hope that didn't sound too harsh).

Please go before things get any worse.

[mishb]

Deb. Get out of there. There are times in life when it's good to be selfish!! You need to look after number 1. No one else is going to do it for you.

It must be an Aussie thing because I was going to say - Deb, get out of there

You certainly don't need this.

The only thing for you to really think about is mum and you - don't even worry about what the others think.
This question I ask........and I don't mean this to be in a horrible sounding way.........is mum at the end of her time? meaning are you thinking that she doesn't have a week or two left and you want to spent every moment with her?
It's a really difficult thing to think about and it would literally kill me if I wasn't around - however, we are thinking of you for a moment - do you think one week away will be okay?
Think about it on a week by week basis.....maybe a month or more is too much - even though you definately deserve it.

It would certainly make the rest of your family step up and take care of mum. Maybe have a chat to mum when the others aren't around - she may even like it if you took some YOU time.

[Debbie C]

Thanks you guys for caring about my well being, I am actually sitting here crying reading this because it makes me feel good that someone actually cares and not calling me a whinny bitch and wishes I was dead.

Michelle, she isn't so bad that she won't last awhile but with the holidays coming up ,I really don't know if she'll be around next year..so the timing is rough..I think it is a matter of how much longer I can take this.

Nice pic Andrew..thanks for the advise (and everyone else ) ..I do think it's time I look at my signiture and start dancing in the rain !! Or should I say some Fl. sunshine. I just hope I can follow thru with it.

Love you guys

[drz]

Deb. Get out of there. There are times in life when it's good to be selfish!! You need to look after number 1. No one else is going to do it for you.

In a similar situation I was convinced to leave when my health care director whom I highly trust put it too me "How much will you be able to help someone else if you end up sick again spending several months in the hospital." If you don't take care of yourself you won't be of much use to anyone else either. Also think about how the stress for you might be impacting your mother too. She must be aware of the conflict and stress in the family too. So getting yourself out of the situation might be of great benefit to her too.

[Alysia]

Hi Debra.
we love you too we are your family not less then them.
can your mom come with you ?