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Thread: "You Don't Look Sick"

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    Default "You Don't Look Sick"

    It appears this theme is reappearing once again. I do absolutely everything I can to remain positive and upbeat, acting as normally as possible around my family/friends/co-workers because I don't want to whine for the rest of my life. Those that are "in the know" know that I feel lousy 100% of the time, but I don't need to constantly remind people of that.
    Anyway, it appears some still don't believe there is anything going on. A few weeks ago, I had to leave work early because I was quite quickly going downhill. When a co-worker found out there was a very distinct eye roll. I shrugged it off because, well, because I didn't care what she thought. I still don't.
    Yesterday, I started my Methotrexate. It's a baby dose to begin with but towards the end of the night I started to feel quite wonky. I also seem to be having some major tooth pain where I just got my crown. I had been in discussions with the supervisors about the beginning of this medication and they had offered to help me if I hda to go home. I even had another friend offer to stay for me as long as she could.
    So I was heading home. That SAME co-worker was like "Where are you going? Shouldn't you tell the supervisor?" I said she knew, and then there it was the eye roll and the shake of the head.
    I am done.
    I feel like I should send an email out to my co-workers explaining what's going on again. I did it before when I was in and out of the hospital and off work a lot because people were wondering what's going on. But, back then, they were focusing on the cancer diagnosis. So, my coworkers all look at it like I'm cured because I am in remission with my cancer. I feel like I have to explain why I may still be off work.
    I would LOVE to be as healthy as this co-worker who is an expert at the annoyed eye roll. Believe me. I would LOVE it.
    What should I do?
    I work in a 911 center. I can't be working when I am not at least 60%. If I can't focus, I can't keep my deputies alive. I can't get the correct info from the callers. It's why they give us sick time!!!!
    What do you think? Should I send out an email about it?
    Officially Diagnosed 07/31/2013

    My blog: http://nikkinicolealison.com

    "It's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then" - Alice in Wonderland

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    What do you think? Should I send out an email about it?
    Probably not, unless you want to start an 'office war'. People don't get AI diseases, and, frankly Scarlet, Weggies usually don't care that much about others' opinions cuz we've already been there. I'd discuss with your supervisor though, so that person is aware of 'office issues'. Good luck!
    Knowing how to think empowers you far beyond those who only know what to think. -NdT


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    Nikki, I would send out another e-mail. Some people are compassionate and some are not. Some don't ever see or know what it is like to have a chronic illness.
    Phil Berggren, dx 2003

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    I have this same thing happen at my office and from not just a co-worker but a friend. She has gone as far to say "where are you going, you just got here". I don't report to her and as a matter of fact I was promoted and she took part of my old job. I think she is getting the idea because I have started saying "if I meant for you to know, it would be on your calendar"! She always rolls her eyes when I'm leaving but what she doesn't know is that I'm usually on my way home to continue working by taking more work home. Oh, and the last time I busted her with the eye roll I walked over to her and said "do you have something in your eye" and "that looks painful". I think she gets it.

    Keep on keeping on, and don't let the mindless get you down!
    "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." - Erma Bombeck

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    That's a hard call Nikki. I would definately mention it to the supervisor and maybe ask her opinion on what you should do. It really is no ones business but it does make it rough going to work with people who have an attitude and no clue on what's happening to you. Good luck and I hope you can adjust to the MTX soon.
    Life isn't about how you survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain !

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    Thanks for everyone's words. I am going to speak with the supervisors to see what they suggest. I mean, they are the ones who will have to deal with any harrassment that comes along if it does. I feel like the majority of everyone in here knows, either through Facebook or just asking me. But, there are these two hold outs. One of them has a daughter who has had some extensive medical issues and is currently undergoing a possible MS diagnosis. I figured she would understand but apparently, I am faking it. And the other ... she's just difficult. We had a bit of words last night at work because she was questioning everything. Quite honestly, she shouldn't have been because I'm excellent at my job and she is not so much.
    What a great idea about mentioning the eye. Ha Ha.
    Thankfully, one of my dearest friends works with me and she and I traded shifts today so that I could go home at a decent hour instead of working my night shift. So it isn't all bad here. Just some hold outs who thnk if they don't understand than it must not be real!
    Officially Diagnosed 07/31/2013

    My blog: http://nikkinicolealison.com

    "It's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then" - Alice in Wonderland

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    Trust us Nikki, you are very real. We are blessed to have you on the Forum.
    Phil Berggren, dx 2003

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    I would also discuss it with the supervisor and mention the issue with the co-worker. In my opionion it would be better to do it sooner than later, since if she is the rumor kind of person its annoying if she starts bad-mouthing you for leaving early. Might also be a cultural thing, wouldn't consider sending an email to my co-workers. Perhaps this is also because I'm fairly private about it. I mean since I expect to have this for life I'm not too keen on sharing it with all co-workers since I expect that even when I change companies in the future I will be working with many of the same people and it might be an hiring issue if they know I'm more likely to be sick.

    Granted its probably not such a big deal, and I've been thinking whether or not I should mention it to my co-workers. Right now I've only informed my supervisor and said I'd rather keep the details private. He was very supportive about it but at the end its of course my call what I say. Have no idea yet when I'll return to work though.

    P.s. very nice comment about the eye-roll. I need to remember that if someone ever does it to me.

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