first off just incase anyone trys to read. i am at a life changing blow up point my fuse is lit!! now its lets see how long my fuse is. anythin i say here is my opinyion and how i feel at this second in time and is in now way ment to hurt anyone in any way. my spelling sentence format even thought prosses will be all over and i am not going to put energy into fixing it. so if i happends you were warned.

they say to start at the begining. but the never say begining off what there so much in my mind and heart i just cant seam to grab one and hold on to it long enuff to prosses. i look back at my life and see the same misserbal circles happening over and over and im done. i get told and tell people when there down to look at the posetive espeshaly when its hard to find i know this boy do i no this its one of the few things i absolotly no. i have my daughter and shes the only thing i worrie about the most is her i have had scott talk to me about being suacidle was not in a positive manor and did not make me feel better. i think he just might like to say it who no i dont. he like so as me do you feel like offing your self yet? or im suprised you have not off your self by now. ooo that make me feel so good. i dont think it would make anyone feel good but i am stupid and dont know nothing and dont do say feel or think like i am saposto or right its my emaganation its me making up ****. well i cant say to myself if i am or not i feel and beleve i am not. my i am wrong and stupid. but yep lex if i did not have her honastly being real to myself i would have killed myself by now i tryed and failed before i would not fail this time. the piont is i have her so its only a fleeting thought one in a great wile.