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Thread: my vent to myself.... dont care if anyone reads or not..

  1. #41
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    First of all, you are a human. And we care. God cares as well, but at times it may not seem like that. You are not alone. You have us and your wonderful daughter. Please message me hun.
    Phil Berggren, dx 2003

  2. #42
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    I am so sorry you are going through these things, DeDe. I noticed you cancelled your FB account. I hope this is only a low spot and things will get better soon.

    You know, I've been remiss on some doctor's appts., too, not Wegs stuff, but like my yearly physical, dental checkups, things like that. I'm feeling pretty good but things are still a struggle, and depression can really get us down. Having such unsupportive families, both you and Scott, is really bad. I don't understand hpw they can care so little and not offer their support. Obviously, they don't understand, but that is not a good reason. I guess you will have to develop other support networks, such as friends, and us here on the forum. I think someone on here suggested counseling.... that would be a good thing, if you could swing it and would keep the appointment.. I understand your resistance to that, as I am the same way, not that I wouldn't do it, but I don't expend the energy to make the first move. A doc could prescribe an antidepressant... I was taking a lowish dose of Zoloft, and I think it helped, but now the script has run out and I need to see that doc.... I don't think it is a heavy hitter like Prozac, which might be a good thing.... I'm getting by without it OK for now. Not going thru as much crap as you are. Well, I will be thinking of you, and feel free to vent on here as much as you want, or to PM me or probably some others on here for a private vent.

    You know, I keep thinking about the fact that you are in Salt Lake City and wondering if you are getting treated there at the vasculitis center at U of Utah. There has been so much positive stuff on here about Dr. Koening. You are lucky to be in a position to take advantage of that.

    Above all, I know it is sometimes easy not to care anymore, but start caring, especially about yourself, because you are worth it! I know you are doing a good job with Lexie and are a good wife to Scott, so focus some of that on yourself, too. And try to get out there in the garden before it is overtaken by weeds.... it could be therapeutic, and Lexie can help you. Best wishes for feeling better!
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  3. #43
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    Hi dede. Im sorry for you. All that sorrow. Please give yourself good things. Im sending you big hug. We are here to support you. Take care.
    Last edited by Alysia; 07-11-2013 at 02:32 AM.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  4. #44
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    Dede...You need to sit back and take a deep breathe and get a grip on things. You have alexcia that needs her mom to be around and I'm sure she loves you rather you are sick or not. It sounds like not taking your meds has put you in a bad spot and you NEED to get in touch with your drs, get back on your meds,maybe get something for your depression because you are the only one that can snap yourself out of this funk you are in. If you don't do it for yourself ....do it for your daughter. We are all here for you when you need to vent and will talk to you anytime but we aren't there to help you, you HAVE to do it. Maybe if you go to the hosp. for a few days they can get your meds straight and maybe that can turn things around for you and you'll start feeling better. Never think you are going thru this alone.
    Life isn't about how you survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain !

  5. #45
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    Hi Dede,when you feel like the world is against you that is the time you have to be strong and think positive and do things that you enjoy. Take your daughter somewhere fun so you can both have a good time together. I know when I was down my daughter came and said I want my mother back that really shook me, and they took me to the hospital where I had a complete exam and had all my meds changed and I saw a psychiatrist and it really helped. I have been a different person ever since. >I no longer hide in the house or feel sorry for myself. I don't care what other people think I do what I want and have fun with the kids and I have a hobby, my horse,. It is important to have a hobby, something you really enjoy doing and do it. Take a yoga class or something where you will meet other people and start a new group of friends. You are a strong person and this is just a glitch in your system and you can fix it your self. We are all with you and will help how we can.
    My blog: Animo

  6. #46
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    ihave been taking m meds for two weeks now. but i still hurt every were. my dr is sending my info to dr k, at u. just have to wate to see if he will see me. my inlaws who up intill a year ago would help me. but now pops is getting alshimers and now they want me to go help them? i cant even walk to potty without terabal pain in feet. all i wanna do is sleep. i do play and everything with lex but other than that i just dont care. my sister in law stold my meds, she stold my wedding ring and had it melted down for money. my mom will not even say sorry to me to talk to me. wow she cares. ok to tell you how f ed up my fam is my sis had s## with her daughters boy friend. why there dating. i love my in laws but there to in volded with them selfs and tell me a 20 min drive on free way is to much to drive. i dont know what to do..
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  7. #47
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    Just keep talking about it with us hun.
    Phil Berggren, dx 2003

  8. #48
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    They want from you but give nothing. You are such a good person. You deserve to get all the love and support. I hope you can find someone who will be there for you. Meantime we are here for you. Tou are not alone.
    Alysia
    dx 2008


    Here, in this forum, I have found my sweet eternal love, my beautiful Phil.. :
    https://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/threads/4238-pberggren-memorial-thread
    "You are my sunshine", he used to sing to me... "you make me happy, when skies are grey" I still answer him.
    Rest in Peace, my brave Batman and take care of your weggies from heaven, until we meet again.

  9. #49
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    DeDe, it is great that your doc sent your info to Dr. Koening at U of Utah. If Wegeners is what's causing your pain and fatigue, and I'm assuming it is, then I can't imagine any reason he wouldn't see you. Even if there's a problem with insurance, maybe he could work you in somehow. You are right there in town, and it seems ridiculous that you wouldn't get to take advantage of his expertise! Or your doc could at least consult with him, or some other vasculitis specialist on the VF list, about your case. Best of luck, and don't let the toxic family members get you down, just avoid them as much as possible. Easier said than done, I know. And like Phil says, keep talking to us.
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  10. #50
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    ok so i am not talking to anyone i am blood related to except my gma rue, and one sister kristy who i was hert by. but she said sorry so we are talking and seeing each other but she lives 1hr and 1/2 away. past strawberry resavor. and there is so much drama on that side. so that leaves my inlaws. they have only once came by to help. and now they want me to come over twice a week to help them?? o ok let me just do that. right!!! what ever. my so called friends all disapeard when i got sick. so i have no one to vent to in person. i hardly use comp. it huert my fingers my ra is running rampid threw my body. and yes i am still in a poor pick on me mood. and my hubbie who has allways been a grouch, told me that hes tired of my bad mood. so i told him now you know what i have lived with the past 13 years. ugg men some times
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

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