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Thread: my vent to myself.... dont care if anyone reads or not..

  1. #21
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    Barbara, it's so sad to read about what your brothers did to you. I see that here and there, people seeming good, well-meaning, and easy to get along with, and then they just shut down that part of them for selfish reasons. And they won't go back because they can't admit they were wrong. I think it must take a toll on them, too. I'm so glad you have your kids and grandkids to even things out. And now you have us, too!

    DeDe, I'm still thinking of you in all of this; you may be coping better now, but changes never happen overnight. Please keep us posted on how things are going!
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  2. #22
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    Thanks for your concern, I have finally learned to let it go or it would have eaten me up. We were a very close family growing up and I know my parents would be horrified if they knew. It is amazing, and I have seen it over and over, how money can change people into monsters. I figure that they must feel bad about what they have done and that is why they are afraid to see me. Then I realize that they don't feel anything or they would have stopped threatening us and trying to ruin our lives. So now my family starts with my husband and me and works down to my grandchildren. We have three great children and four grandchildren and a bunch of animals. I do admit that that money would have gone a long way to help me get medical help but they don't care.
    My blog: Animo

  3. #23
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    I do admire you for being able to let it go. That kind of stress is the last thing a person with Wegener's needs. I'm glad you are surrounded by your husband, children, grandchildren, and all those animals. That must make it a lot easier to forget the wrongs done to you and take joy in your current life.
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

  4. #24
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    It took me < year or two to let go because it was wrong what they did and I haven't told the half of it. I still don't know how family can turn on you so fast just over inheritance. My children and riding have made me change my whole way of thinking, it was hard at first but then I realised that i couldn't do anything about it so just let it go and I no longer need to take anti-depressants or anxiety pills. That is a big plus and I am a much happier person. My husband is having a much harder time letting it go because they beat him up, threatened me and left my children out of what my parents wanted them to have. My brothers don't even have families or wives to give it to. My older brother has been sick all of his life and I was always the one to go with him, talk to the doctors, find him specialists and now he won-t help me when I need it. It is seeing my husband hurt that makes it hard for me because he is doing everything to make sure I am happy. Well, on to happier subjects. No use crying over spilt milk.
    My blog: Animo

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alysia View Post
    Hi dede,
    Im happy to find that things are getting better for you.
    you touches my heart and others' heart here.
    Im sending you my love and my caring.
    I live far away from you, in Israel. if you travell someday...
    (i dont have facebook)
    martha and anne and everybody here,
    I feel lucky to be here with you all, so caring and kind and supportive.
    it is a good place here. real. compassionate.
    the best.
    thanks.
    AHH thanks hun!! i would love to travel. i have never been on a plane. guess that one goes on the bucket list. yeah this site ROCKS!!!
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  6. #26
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    how can i put this? its not better but scotts family talked to him, and so did mine!! that's a another story. so then he was good at helping around house and made two dr appts but now hes drifing back. i am tomorrow i am making the appts for a therapist. but i dont know. to be honest i dont know if it will help. he has changed so much over the last three years. i would not even know were to start to describe it. but he thinks he has not. that its all me, and my mind!! i really dont think therapy will help. i dont know what to think.
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  7. #27
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    ok lets see i am going to give you guys 4 examples of different times scott upset me, and why it upset me. but i will try to shorten the story. lets see if i am the only one who would get upset or not.

    1. its not the gift its the thought that counts, but really how much thought is this.... he goes shopping for the gifts on xmas eve, spend all day of my bday shopping, or complain about Easter being for the stores to sale stuff and we should not even celebrate it.. then when you get your gift its anything on sale, or its pink becuse he let lex pick it out. fyi pink is the color i hate the most!!! in 13 years, i have never gotten a gift over 100$ and i have spent 600 to 1500 on him for almost every bday and xmas. never gotten a real piece of jewelry, well he got our wedding rings they were like 500$ for all three. i would like a real good quality piece of jewelry. is that so bad? he has never sent me flowers at work, he will like once a year bring me home a clearance single rose for me and for lex.

    2.
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  8. #28
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    2. you all know how hard it is to get going in the morns. between meds and symtoms. i dont know what it is but i just cant get going before 8am and gets up for school at 7am. my sleep is all over the place. i am seeing a pulmanolagest to see whats going on. he works from 4pm to 130am to 330am. then he stays up to 5am playing games and does londrey but piles it on floor not put them away!! and gets mad at me if he has to take time from 730v am to 830 am to get lex of to school but shes 7 and he only gets her up with 30 min to get ready he no helps and yell at her to get dressed, she never gets teeth brushed but then he yells at me for her getting cavities, then she no gets all her meds, hair brushed, face washed. what the crap. there's to many reasons why i am upset about this to write. but yeah please tell me your thoughts.
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  9. #29
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    i guess that was 2. and 3. so heres 4.

    4. the methotraxate has me sick, anything made me throw up, i hurt, and a bunch of other symptoms acting up. had not sleped in three days. and he wants a home made dinner so i cook one. then he has lex help him tell me that a mommy treat sounds good. but not just cookies they want toffee. so feel like crap cooking food that the smell is making me worse. cooking food im not even going to eat. now mind you some times and he knows this my hearing goes funny and i cant hear well, then i in kitchen he in front room, i have raidio on, and doing dishes. he yells something. i say what im sorry i cant hear you and he says well god i was going to tell you, that your cutie when your cooking but now its pointless. and this is sapos to be a complament??
    "My daughter is closer to me than my skin.. she is the arteries to my heart.. she is my life line.. The reason I breathe.."

  10. #30
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    It sounds like some of the things a lot of women might complain about regarding their men, but with the Wegener's thrown in, it becomes more and more intolerable. I live by myself with Wegener's, and sometimes wish I had someone here to help me with things, but at the same time I'm glad I have no one constantly making demands on me, or saying and doing things that might make me feel disregarded and belittled. On the other hand, it sounds like Scott has been trying and does love you. I know you are feeling that therapy won't help, but I think you should wait and see, and give it a chance. You might not see improvement overnight. But therapists are trained to help you figure out how to stand up for yourself and work through your feelings of resentment. I wish you all the luck in the world with that.
    Anne, dx'ed April 2011

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