I look at my pictures - even the pictures from my wedding which was just a little over a month ago and I can't believe I was self conscious then.. OMG... between the extra facial hair (not even kidding, atleast I can get rid of that) and all this extra weight (mostly on face and neck, but belly is getting there too) I feel horrible. Like I physically feel.. narsty. I also think somethings up with my throat too as I've got a squeek in my voice and I choked a few times on water.. Awesome.

My friends are all healthy party animals living summer up right now so that's probably part of the reason I'm so bummed. They all try to make it around - but really I'm not much fun right now so I can't blame them.

It doesn't help either that people keep bringing me food.. It's like, seriously? I am trying to avoid this! LOL.. But people don't know what to do.. So they keep bringing me treats to make me feel better. I told them to start bringing me salads!