When is it time to get a new doctor?

**drz** · 01-31-2011, 05:11 AM

Here are five signs it may be time to “break up” with your doctor:
1. You feel the doctor blames, ignores, or criticizes you or the person in your care
2. The doctor doesn’t respond to your feedback, or becomes defensive or unpleasant
3. It seems the doctor isn’t taking your family member’s pain or other symptoms seriously enough
4. You find out about treatments that can help that the doctor hasn’t told you about
5. The doctor doesn’t explain treatment options clearly, resulting in mistakes
In this case, your best bet is to change doctors, and find one you can work with to provide the best care. Doctors often say that if a patient is going to change doctors, they’d appreciate hearing it directly rather than suddenly receiving a “sneak” request for medical records to be sent to another doctor. In general, I think they’re right; honesty is the best policy. But if you’ve had a truly unpleasant exchange with your doctor, I believe it’s your prerogative to find a new doctor and ask the staff to fax over the request for records. You’re not obligated to engage in another confrontation.
Either way, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief once you’re dealing with a doctor who listens respectfully, answers your questions, accommodates your requests, takes your family member’s symptoms seriously, and works with you to develop a treatment plan you can all feel good about.

**vincelv** · 01-31-2011, 07:48 AM

when your doctor isnt really taking you serious..your paying for him or her..so you should be number one priority when your there with them

**Sangye** · 01-31-2011, 02:28 PM

Great thread, drz.

**elephant** · 01-31-2011, 11:42 PM

Thanks drz, those are exactly the reasons why I left my internist a couple of years ago. I am happy with my new doctor!

**JanW** · 02-01-2011, 01:40 AM

I think that when I doctor asks you not to "look things up" on the internet, that's a warning sign. I don't think that they do this so much any more (I used to hear this all the time when my kids were born in 1998 and 2001), because they recognize that an informed patient can be a helpful patient. But if a doctor wants to me your own source of knowledge on your own health - look out. What is he or she threatened by exactly? That she might have to spend five minutes clearing up misinformation?

**pberggren1** · 02-01-2011, 03:11 AM

My doc encourages me to do research and go on this site.

**Sangye** · 02-01-2011, 03:47 AM

I agree that doctors who say "Don't do any research" are not good to stay with, but there's more to the story.

Patients researching via the internet can be very helpful, but it can be a real problem for a doctor. When someone sees something in print it makes a very strong impression on them. I often had patients come in who had found incorrect info online or some expensive but useless supplement. Even though I spent LOTS of time explaining why it was incorrect, some persisted in believing what they had read. They'd get this glazed-over look in their eyes.

Also, the internet is causing patients to over-research and try to find every little bit of info. Some can become quite obsessed with it and convince themselves they have terrible conditions or diseases. Though I had many who did this, I think of one of my patients with this tendency. She was fearful of her children or her being diagnosed with something terrible, and if anyone got a weird bump or bruise she'd hit the internet. She'd call me half-hysterical and I'd have to talk her down. Many times I told her not to go on the internet until I examined them in my office or until diagnostic tests came back.

Pharmaceutical companies actually use this to their advantage in the endless tv and magazine ads. They know that patients increasingly want to self-diagnose and seeing the info in print will make it more likely for them to ask their doctor for the drug.

**drz** · 02-01-2011, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by Sangye

I agree that doctors who say "Don't do any research" are not good to stay with, but there's more to the story.

Patients researching via the internet can be very helpful, but it can be a real problem for a doctor. When someone sees something in print it makes a very strong impression on them. I often had patients come in who had found incorrect info online or some expensive but useless supplement. Even though I spent LOTS of time explaining why it was incorrect, some persisted in believing what they had read. They'd get this glazed-over look in their eyes.

Also, the internet is causing patients to over-research and try to find every little bit of info. Some can become quite obsessed with it and convince themselves they have terrible conditions or diseases. Though I had many who did this, I think of one of my patients with this tendency. She was fearful of her children or her being diagnosed with something terrible, and if anyone got a weird bump or bruise she'd hit the internet. She'd call me half-hysterical and I'd have to talk her down. Many times I told her not to go on the internet until I examined them in my office or until diagnostic tests came back.

Pharmaceutical companies actually use this to their advantage in the endless tv and magazine ads. They know that patients increasingly want to self-diagnose and seeing the info in print will make it more likely for them to ask their doctor for the drug.

It is a good thing that we don't have to worry about obsessing about our problems or worrying too much because we aren't like that at all!!