pberggren memorial thread

To my sweet beautiful Phil,


Oct 1 (2014) your last full day on earth was a better day for you, compared to previous days. You felt better. not as sleepy as the days before. Your sense of humor was back and you made jokes and some comedy show about the scary day that before, when you lost consciousness. You asked me to tell you how it was again and again because you didn’t feel anything and couldn’t remember. You were amused. You rolled your eyes and made me laugh… we had a hope…


You always knew how to make the best out of the worst, to make jokes in the midst of dread or agony or pains... and you did it mostly to cheer up the others... especially me. You knew how I felt, you always know.. understanding me without words, beyond all words..... <3


They sent many docs to check you at that day.. the day before alarmed them...


Our very dear Fr. McDonnell came. We were so excited to tell him what happened. Our best friend and an angel on earth, holy and humble man, God bless our dear Fr. McDonnell.


You couldn’t receive Holy Communion because the nurse didn’t allow you, after you threw up in the morning. Actually you didn't eat or drink anything since the Holy Communion that you received on the day before.


You wanted to receive it without the nurse's permission but Fr. McDonnell didn’t want to risk you.
Dear Fr. McDonnell gave you his own scapular after he saw that I was trying to wash yours, after the vomiting. you passed away with his scapular on you. I wear yours. You and Fr. McDonnell had a talk about the beauty of heaven... before he left, Fr. McDonnell asked me to call him if we will need him at any hour…. None of us knew if it was going to be, and that it was going to be so soon…


…...... Before the evening came, you threw up again. we had a dumb nurse, She just set there, chewing gum and doing nothing…


but I was with you… and you were with me… you held my hand all day with your warm good hand. You held me and I held you. You always said: "we have each other". You always said: "just hold my hand". You were so sweet, so beautiful, so cute, so loving....


You were really tired when the evening came… being awake all day long, and worried…. many questions… how are you going to make it…. I comforted you .... I made you smile… your sweet melting smile..


I saw that your sats are dropping for no reason and I called the dumb nurse, but she said that it is just because of the angle of the bed and she made it higher.


you fell asleep peacefully with your sweet smile, holding my hand. It was the last time I talked with you on earth.....


I was worried, watching your sats, I was afraid to wake you up, so I was just sitting there, holding your good hand, looking at your beautiful face, inhaling your sweet smell, praying............


until I was also tired…. So I wrote you a note. We always left messages to each other.


The night nurse looked like a good one and she assured me that I can go to sleep. She promised to give you my note when she will wake you up for your night medications. she did.


.......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alysia

My beautiful man is not with us anymore. He is in heaven now.

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My sweet Phil, 3 years today since you have entered eternity...


An hour after I left you and went to sleep, your night nurse woke you up to take meds and she showed you my note. You were back to sleep.


A bit before midnight you stopped breathing on your own during your sleep. No pains. They connected you to the breathing machine, they sedated you. you didn't woke up through all these. I believe that you didn't feel any of these... your sufferings have come to an end.


I was still sleeping in my room, 4 buildings away, knowing nothing..


Oct 2 (2014) at about 03:00am (Calgary time) I woke up, scared to death, strong fast heartbeats, from knocking on my door at my room in the hostel. shaking all over I opened to the security man who asked: "are you Alysia ? Is your boyfriend in the ICU ? You need to go there". I asked him to wait a min and to walk with me. shaking all over, from cold and from dread. we walked to the ICU. 10 min walk. The security man gave me a chewing gum to calm me down. He was a kind man.


When we arrived to the ICU they didn't allow me to get into your room. I waited outside the room. Totally shaking. The night nurse came and told me that you stopped breathing during your sleep. They were still working on you.


I called your parents. They came so fast. I needed them. To hold each other. Otherwise I would have being crashing to the floor...


Then we were allowed into your room. You were so pale... you looked tired but so beautiful .. with all the machines.. and the lines...


Your always warm hands, my sweetie, were now cold and I knew that you are no longer with us... I asked the ICU dr if there is any chance that you will recover now and he said no.


Early in the morning I texted dear Fr. McDonnell. He came quite fast. He told us that it is a special day, Feast day of the Holy Guardian Angels.


He prayed for you the most beautiful prayer I ever heard, describing how the Saints and Angels will be soon welcoming you into heaven......


I think it was the Litany of the Saints.


Tears flowing... we stood around you, your father, Daryl hugged me with his strong arms, reminded me of your strength & courage even in the thoughest moments.... he has raised you so wonderful over the years to be THE Batman... your beautiful mother, Donna, with her good caring eyes, so much like the goodness & compassion in your eyes... her goodness, love, caring & kindness which have raised you over the years to be the kindest sweet soul I ever knew....


.........


Oct 2 (2014) at about 10:30am morning (Calgary time) you flied high, with your Batman's wings, straight to heaven. fast. no pains. Peacefully.


Embraced by tremendous love.... enveloping us with your love & Faith.


.......


... all tears, I kissed your beautiful forehead and I told you:


"goodbye sweetie. I love you".


you still had your sweet smell....


.......


"the Lord gave,
and the Lord hath taken away:
as it hath pleased the Lord
so is it done:
blessed be the name of the Lord".


(Job, 1:21)

Attachment 2628

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alysia

My sweet Phil, 3 years today since you have entered eternity...


An hour after I left you and went to sleep, your night nurse woke you up to take meds and she showed you my note. You were back to sleep.


A bit before midnight you stopped breathing on your own during your sleep. No pains. They connected you to the breathing machine, they sedated you. you didn't woke up through all these. I believe that you didn't feel any of these... your sufferings have come to an end.


I was still sleeping in my room, 4 buildings away, knowing nothing..


Oct 2 (2014) at about 03:00am (Calgary time) I woke up, scared to death, strong fast heartbeats, from knocking on my door at my room in the hostel. shaking all over I opened to the security man who asked: "are you Alysia ? Is your boyfriend in the ICU ? You need to go there". I asked him to wait a min and to walk with me. shaking all over, from cold and from dread. we walked to the ICU. 10 min walk. The security man gave me a chewing gum to calm me down. He was a kind man.


When we arrived to the ICU they didn't allow me to get into your room. I waited outside the room. Totally shaking. The night nurse came and told me that you stopped breathing during your sleep. They were still working on you.


I called your parents. They came so fast. I needed them. To hold each other. Otherwise I would have being crashing to the floor...


Then we were allowed into your room. You were so pale... you looked tired but so beautiful .. with all the machines.. and the lines...


Your always warm hands, my sweetie, were now cold and I knew that you are no longer with us... I asked the ICU dr if there is any chance that you will recover now and he said no.


Early in the morning I texted dear Fr. McDonnell. He came quite fast. He told us that it is a special day, Feast day of the Holy Guardian Angels.


He prayed for you the most beautiful prayer I ever heard, describing how the Saints and Angels will be soon welcoming you into heaven......


I think it was the Litany of the Saints.


Tears flowing... we stood around you, your father, Daryl hugged me with his strong arms, reminded me of your strength & courage even in the thoughest moments.... he has raised you so wonderful over the years to be THE Batman... your beautiful mother, Donna, with her good caring eyes, so much like the goodness & compassion in your eyes... her goodness, love, caring & kindness which have raised you over the years to be the kindest sweet soul I ever knew....


.........


Oct 2 (2014) at about 10:30am morning (Calgary time) you flied high, with your Batman's wings, straight to heaven. fast. no pains. Peacefully.


Embraced by tremendous love.... enveloping us with your love & Faith.


.......


... all tears, I kissed your beautiful forehead and I told you:


"goodbye sweetie. I love you".


you still had your sweet smell....


.......


"the Lord gave,
and the Lord hath taken away:
as it hath pleased the Lord
so is it done:
blessed be the name of the Lord".


(Job, 1:21)

Attachment 2628

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I'll always think of you and Phil on this day. With much love, to the moon and back...Anne

Sent from my MotoE2(4G-LTE) using Tapatalk

RIP Phil
You will be forever remembered on this forum and beyond.

Always thinking of you both and forever grateful and thankful that you were there with him.

I miss our late night conversations.

We know he took it all in his stride, and was not afraid.

Thank you SO much, Anne, Pete and Michelle. I love you ❤ your support means a lot to me. Especially here in the forum, where I have found my beautiful Phil.

Yes, Michelle, Phil was not afraid to die. On his last day alive on earth I asked him what will happen if he will die. He pointed with his finger up and said: "it will be God's will". He accepted God's will with peace, love and burning Faith. I also asked him: "what will happen to me if you will die ?" He said: "you will have Jesus and Mary". He was right.

I madly miss him...... :crying:

I have been away from these forums for a long while now, but I always remember Phil with fondness. He was the very first person to welcome me to this family all those years ago. We talked a bit on Skype, compared horror stories of all things sinus related. Phil had very strong convictions and a deep well of knowledge and experience. I always marveled at the way this twisted journey brought him closer to his faith, while it had the opposite effect on me. He was just at peace with his life, a sensai. It clashed completely with the turmoil I felt in my life own life and it was refreshing to see someone stable. We lost a good one with his passing, but that's heaven's gain now. RIP Phil

~Your friend Melly

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Melly

I have been away from these forums for a long while now, but I always remember Phil with fondness. He was the very first person to welcome me to this family all those years ago. We talked a bit on Skype, compared horror stories of all things sinus related. Phil had very strong convictions and a deep well of knowledge and experience. I always marveled at the way this twisted journey brought him closer to his faith, while it had the opposite effect on me. He was just at peace with his life, a sensai. It clashed completely with the turmoil I felt in my life own life and it was refreshing to see someone stable. We lost a good one with his passing, but that's heaven's gain now. RIP Phil

~Your friend Melly

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Thank you, Melly. Phil was THE expert on nose rinses. He knew all about it. One of the first things that he showed me proudly when I first came to the batcave, was his waterpike and how he mixed the water with baking soda and rinsed. It was quite dramatic, one of the kind of things that only a fellow weggie can fully appreciate. Although when we were in the hospital few nurses also came to see him rinsing.... when we were out of baking soda, one Sunday morning in the hospital, I searched everywhere to buy it. eventually I got a gift of 2 packs of baking soda in a Pizzeria. We were happy with them like we have found a treasure :)

As for Faith, Phil's was the strongest I ever witnessed. The more rough he had it, the stronger his Faith became. On his last day on earth, after he almost passed on the day before, I asked him, what If - what if he will die. He pointed with his finger up and said: "It will be God's will". He allways accepted God's will for him with joy and peace. He explained it all to me in details. I try to walk like him with Faith and I must say that it is the only thing that helps me handle my grief and my sickness. If you feel like, @Melly, you are invited to write to me private msg here, so we can talk more about Faith issues. I say a prayer for you. God bless you.

Hi Alyssa, I know that I am new to the forum but I wanted you to know that your memorial to your beautiful Phil was wonderful & made me cry. My thoughts are with you as you continue to grieve for your soul mate. If you ever need anything or to cry I know you don’t know me but I will be happy to cry with you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NatriceRomeo

Hi Alyssa, I know that I am new to the forum but I wanted you to know that your memorial to your beautiful Phil was wonderful & made me cry. My thoughts are with you as you continue to grieve for your soul mate. If you ever need anything or to cry I know you don’t know me but I will be happy to cry with you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Thank you, Natrice, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my memorial to my beautiful Phil, for your kind words, for your invitation and for your tears. You made me tears as well, and you warmed my sore heart.

My sweetie, Dr. Phil, as we called him here, or The Batman, was sick with WG since 2003 and a member in this forum since 2009. He wrote 6076 posts here. He allways welcomed new members to our family, with good advices and info, encouragement, great sense of humor, and deep understanding of how it feels like to be a weggie.

Since he passed away, few other weggies passed away, so I imagine how he welcomed them up there, showing them around, like he used to do here, now in heaven's parallel forum...

And I know that he is watching over me and over all of us, you too, Natrice, and that he prays for us - with his strongest Faith and sweet caring and love.

Untill we meet again.
It will be heaven.