Thank you so much for remembering my beautiful Phil & dear Barbara. Indeed July 7 is their birthday... the bat horse is gorgeous. I will send it also to Lenox, Barbara's husband.
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This is late, I haven't been here for awhile, Happy Birthday to Phil & Blessings & good memories to you, Alisa.
I just miss my sweet Phil like crazy... time only makes it worse... missing accumulating..
This world is so cold, empty & lonely without my Batman....
Most people can't bear my tears or agony too much so I learnt to keep them for myself as much as I can... wearing the mask....
I don't like to overload or to make someone sad.. sorry if I do it now.....
somedays I am speechless and at others like today I need some human beings to truely tell how I feel... although most friends around here are not reading this thread, but writing in itself is also something...
Thanks God for my cat Preta. I can cry with her as much as I feel... and then she is purring and licking my hands.. cats are angels.
Now I wonder if I should press the "cancel" button or the "Post Quick Reply"....
We are still here with you, and for you :hug1:
Keep wearing that mask in public, if you must, but you don't have to here. :love:
I cant thank you enough, Michelle, you are such an amazing friend and I love you ♡
Mostly the mask is on.
The other day I went to my wg dr. He was not happy about my wg smoldering & the heart echo's results. He wondered why rtx is not working as strong as it was. He wanted to add cellcept. I said: no.
Only then I told him that the rtx is not working well enough because someone VERY dear to me passed away. I couldnt hold the mask anymore and the tears started to flow without control. I asked him if the heart echo can look like that because of a broken heart. He said: yes.
Then the tears had their own will, flowing.....
Its ok when I am on my own and with my cat Preta. But I hate to let others see my like that.
Actually my beautiful Phil was the only one ever that I allowed to see me crying, weak, without any mask, fragile and vulnerable.... I miss him so much....
Well I for one thank god that you finally shared your grief with your doctor. He needed to know why things weren't working as they should be.
Crying is not a sign of being weak. Finally letting your doctor in to your world, is a big step and certainly not a weak one.
Big hugs and much love to you :hug1:
Thank you SO much, Michelle, for telling all of the above, for being here with me, and for being so amazing ♡♡♡
Many hugs back :hug1::hug2:
Hi Alysia
I agree with Michelle, crying is not a sign of weakness, especially not in your case, just let it all out. I have read your posts since i have been on here with you guys, and I can see how much you miss your Phil, thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs all the way from South Africa. It is so awesome knowing that on this forum one can just be oneself, no masks or pretending, we can just be.
Thinking of you Alysia, *hugs*
Lots of love
Marli