To remember or not?

Hi guys,

been wondering if it is time to add a memorial section to the site.

There have been a number of WGers how have passed on and IMO they should not be forgotten.

I envisaged the title to be Memorial Section or similar. (I would not use gpa, as I believe the majority who have left us were diagnosed as WG - ditto Wg)

I would also have a starter post which gave the basic details such as name, when Diagnosed, Aviator or photo, death along with a short write up about the person. This would then be followed with their most important link/links (Intro or dying threads.) People , if they wish can add their personal memories'. Only the Admins can add new people to it but the can ask if anyone would like to write the Obit.

The thread information should explain what its about but start with something along the line of: This is an area where members can remember those who failed to beat the disease. Please remember that back 20 years ago the survival rate was only 20% where nowdays with the new treatments it is well over 80%. Death is now much rarer than before but these people contributed to the forum and helped the success rate get where it is today. This to reasure new members and visitors.

Can it be done and thoughts please?

I agree with you Paul in principle. It does seem ironic that the members of this Forum who have passed on were perhaps the most significant contributers, and therefore their wealth of knowledge should be identified and made more accessible, if thats the right description.
It would need to be done in a dignified manner to reflect the solemnity of the situation.

I think it's a wonderful idea. Thank you for presenting it, Hammy

Lovely idea Hammy, a lot of thought would have to go into it of course.

Rif

Hammy this is a wonderful idea - thankyou :thumbsup:

Andrew/vdub, please say that this is possible :biggrin1::biggrin1:

I think its a good idea, but how to present it will require some thought. I think the basic info that you suggest would be good, but I don't think we would want everyone's individual thoughts, condolences, etc. If you start adding a lot of "clutter" (not to demean the thought), then it detracts from "the wall", if I can use that term.

We do have the candles on the map as a reminder -- unfortunately there are quite a few candles.

Edit: I see 7 off-hand; 2 in US, 1 in Canada, 1 in Spain, 1 in UAE, 1 in S. Africa, & 1 in the UK. Am I missing any?

I'm thinking a sticky with a URL pointing to a web page with a static write-ups on each individual. Something simple (no auto-music, for instance and no animated .gifs), solemn, short... I don't think we would need permission from anyone as long as the content was taken from publicly available sources.

I agree it's a good idea, and thanks, vdub, for remembering the lesser known ones that we see on the map but may not all have been as active on the forum. They all deserve recognition. Any that are not on the map could be hard to track down unless someone specifically remembers them and can find their posts on the forum, so that we can get the info on them.

I think there are definitely some others who didn't make it onto the map, I'm just having trouble remembering their details.... in these cases it was likely a relative who was posting on their behalf. I have a vague recollection of a man in India whose son was posting, and one or two others whose son or daughter were posting for them.

vdub, there is a third on the map in the US, the mother of MEustache in Maryland. It was hard to see. And I'm now doubting that there are others not on the map, as I think you or Andrew have been pretty diligent about putting them on there when they pass. It's just hard to see them in some of the more concentrated areas, so someone would have to go through and zoom in on areas to make sure none were missed.

I think it is a wonderful, wonderful idea. I learned so much from Phil personally. We had many interactions both on and off the forum and ... I am still shaken that he was here one minute and seemingly gone the next. His information shouldn't be gone. I also conversed with Barbara. I would look up old posts by Lightwarrior and Al. It's a wealth of information that shouldn't be gone. There are so many of us in the beginning stages of our journey that need their wisdom!
I am fully behind it being short and to the point. If we feel the need, we can start a thread for each person to leave our condolences.
I love this family. I wish we didn't have to be in it but at least we aren't alone.
You all are the only people I truly take their words to heart when you lecture me. No one else understands!!

I like the idea of thread or sticky sort like a cemetery with head stones summarizing briefly some info about a person, like a head stone does with a pix or copy of their avatar. Maybe including the dates they were active on the forum, number of posts they made and a couple lines about their circumstances, cause of their death, their contributions or how they are remembered by others on the forum. Suggestions could be offered by all members but a brief edited summary would only be posted. I think it could be done in a dignified presentation like the candles are now.

I think drz just volunteered to be the obit editor...LOL...ducks...

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Originally Posted by Dirty Don

I think drz just volunteered to be the obit editor...LOL...ducks...

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I will help you though, Don since you are the English teacher, right. But they should only be posted by Vdub or the Big Kahuna.

Nope, sorry bud, don't do obits...any other editing? I'll do it!

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Originally Posted by vdub

I think its a good idea, but how to present it will require some thought. I think the basic info that you suggest would be good, but I don't think we would want everyone's individual thoughts, condolences, etc. If you start adding a lot of "clutter" (not to demean the thought), then it detracts from "the wall", if I can use that term.

We do have the candles on the map as a reminder -- unfortunately there are quite a few candles.

Edit: I see 7 off-hand; 2 in US, 1 in Canada, 1 in Spain, 1 in UAE, 1 in S. Africa, & 1 in the UK. Am I missing any?

I'm thinking a sticky with a URL pointing to a web page with a static write-ups on each individual. Something simple (no auto-music, for instance and no animated .gifs), solemn, short... I don't think we would need permission from anyone as long as the content was taken from publicly available sources.

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Agreed. Great idea, it's just the implementation we need to think about. I'm not in a position to set anything up for the next couple of weeks but please keep adding ideas to this thread and we can get something going in early November.

I think it is a terrific idea. I would think a memorial page for each person with an easy way to link to their posts would be perfect. I would think perhaps one introductory post should be highlighted. Most have a first post that summarizes how they arrived. That could be the highlighted post. the obituary should limited to a certain maximum number of words, and could be written by a family member.

I remember my sweet dr. Phil all the time on his thread.... with pictures and tears and endless love and sore missing...
it can be done with others who passed, on the thread that told about their passing, or on the thread in which they told their story, or on one of their best threads...
it can be done by reading again old posts, which I mostly do now when I come to the Forum...
honestly, I doubt how many can bear visiting Phil's thread... I am grateful for those who are able too.... "cemetery" is not fun to visit.
p.s. vdub/ endrew: when my time will come, will you, please put my candle near Phi's ?

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Originally Posted by Alysia

p.s. vdub/ endrew: when my time will come, will you, please put my candle near Phi's ?

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Absolutely.

Alysia, that's going to be many, many years from now!!!!

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Originally Posted by JeanMarie

Alysia, that's going to be many, many years from now!!!!

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only God knows when.... maybe Phil also know now, that he has heavenly wisdom...
we used to tell Phil things like that....
tears...
and... honestly, I don't want to wait many years until I will join my Phil. I miss him every second. each morning is painful to wake up.... I am sorry.
thank you anyway.

and thank you andrew for the candle. it means a lot to me.

A year down the line....has anything happened?

Hmm, I don't seem to be able to find the 'candle map'. Could someone direct me please?

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Originally Posted by Hammy8241

Hmm, I don't seem to be able to find the 'candle map'. Could someone direct me please?

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There used to be a link to it at the top of each page, I think, but now I think you'll at least find it at the bottom of any of vdub's posts. I hope so. And welcome back!

Yeap, the link is in my signature block below....

Thanks - I had found this one
Map link on where our readers are located.

and can see your link at the botttom of the page......but neither link titles would make me look for the candles...nor in any write-up is it explained just what the candles indicate. Is it because the site does not want to worry newbies or acknowledge that we don't always win?

The members map was, and is a great idea, as is adding the candles for those whom we have lost. But I would ask that consideration be given to the wording and/or a second memeorial map is done. This is because, whilst you might remember names, you don't always remember where they lived in the world.

Also, thankfully we have many, many more sufferers alive than dead. IMO, the candles are lost in the living pins and hard to see/find.

Many thanks in advance.

The concept of the map and the meaning of the candle is explained in the first sticky under "New Member Intro". That's probably as good as can be done, but if you want to work on the wording more, please forward it to me and we can replace the existing.
New Member Introductions And Stories

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Also, thankfully we have many, many more sufferers alive than dead. IMO, the candles are lost in the living pins and hard to see/find.

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I'm thinking that might be a good thing. We certainly wouldn't want to greet a new member with a bunch of candles suggesting they are likely to die. I kind of like it that they have to hunt a bit for a candle.

On edit: I was just looking at the map and noticed right away that someone had made a mistake and used a sunflower. I saw the sunflower with no problem, but when I went looking for a candle, they are harder to see. Specifically, I was looking for Barbara's in Spain -- it was very hard to see. Maybe we should change all the candles to sunflower.

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Originally Posted by vdub

Maybe we should change all the candles to sunflower.

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Good idea!

There are a lot of different colors too. Is there any significance to colors of people 's pin?

Good question. It seems the different colors of pins helps to see the different pins next to each other in clusters. With the flowers, it seems there would be less of a problem with them getting covered up by clusters of pins, in densely populated areas on the map.

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Last post on this by me as either I am being thick, not explaning myself well or the site is happy with the status quo.


Coming back to the site after some time of inactivity, I wanted to go to the map - look at the candles and spend some time remembering those who did not make it. People who gave me help and advice when I needed it.

I searched but could not find the map (Which I thought was seperate from the members one). I could not find any mention of the dead/memorial/candles etc which would guide me.

Since my 'active' time, many more sufferers have sort information and help from the site - the number of pins has greatly increased . This makes trying to see the candles very hard to find, unless you know where and what part of the world they came from.

All I would like to see is a mention in a title about 'memorial' (or other suitable word) for people to be able to find the departed easily (or their own map).

Both the two posts below fail to mention this in the titles - how are people going to find them? Death is the only certanty there is in life. It is not something to be ashamed of or hidden. The best we can do is to remember them. (Do we need both posts - could they not be merged?)

People with WG do die - thankfully with the modern treatments very many less than i the past. This is not meant to scare members but to be honest, show respect to them and acknowledge that it can happen.






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the site is happy with the status quo

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That does appear to be the case. Last night I glanced at the number of views and it was at ~1,600. Now its at ~1,750. That means 150 people have viewed this message in the last 12 hours with no comment and don't seem to be interested one way or the other. If I get around to it, I might experiment with changing the candle to the sunflower to see if it increases visibility, otherwise, I'll leave the site alone.

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Originally Posted by Hammy8241

Hmm, I don't seem to be able to find the 'candle map'. Could someone direct me please?

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If it is possible, maybe we can have 2 maps ? one for the living and one for the dead ?

My additional feedback on the map: It is possible to zoom in on a location on the map and see the spacing between candles and pins better. However, having a separate 'in memoriam' map isn't a bad idea either. I do think there should be a more accessible link to the map, like at the top of a page with the other 'community' info. I liked being able to click on it from any page or thread I was on.

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It is possible to zoom in on a location on the map and see the spacing between candles and pins better

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Oh, yes... In the lower right corner of the map, there should be a plus and minus symbol. Click on the plus to zoom in and the minus to zoom out. You can also grab the map with your mouse and move it around. Also, on the left side, there should be an alphabetical listing of all entries. You can click on one of the entries and it will take you to their place on the map. if you don't see the list, click on the >>> thing that is in the upper left.

Also, the lower left allows you to view all or just deaths. Click on the square to activate what you want to look at. That's almost as good as having two maps. The map will do a lot of things if you look around and play with it a bit. You can't hurt the map by experimenting (you don't want to make false entries, tho).

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Originally Posted by vdub

Oh, yes... In the lower right corner of the map, there should be a plus and minus symbol. Click on the plus to zoom in and the minus to zoom out. You can also grab the map with your mouse and move it around. Also, on the left side, there should be an alphabetical listing of all entries. You can click on one of the entries and it will take you to their place on the map. if you don't see the list, click on the >>> thing that is in the upper left.

Also, the lower left allows you to view all or just deaths. Click on the square to activate what you want to look at. That's almost as good as having two maps. The map will do a lot of things if you look around and play with it a bit. You can't hurt the map by experimenting (you don't want to make false entries, tho).

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They show up real clearly when you just check the square for deaths. I count 14 candles.
I think this clarifies the issue about not being able to find the candle markers easily. Thanks for the clarification.

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Originally Posted by drz

They show up real clearly when you just check the square for deaths. I count 14 candles.
I think this clarifies the issue about not being able to find the candle markers easily. Thanks for the clarification.

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Now everyone knows what to do when they find the 'memorial' map......BUT HOW THE HELL DOES ANYONE FIND IT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT IS NOT MENTIONED IN THE TITLES?
You may know where it is hidden but anyone else such as friends and family members will not! What is so hard about having it signposted?

I know you moniter this in your own time and fully apreciate your efforts and input and due to this, I am de-registering from the site. Good-bye all.

HA!! I can't even fin d out how to do this - Just block me please.

Hammy, what is up, this is not worth leaving over. Please don't go
Your input is very important to us all.

I looked at the map the other day and thought, "but I can see the candles and I know where they all are",
You are correct, I have been on here for years and know how it works, what if I was a brand new member, or someone just visiting.
I would have no idea that the candles signified the passing of our loved members, I would just think that someone chose to use a candle instead of a pin.

Our members that have now gone, certainly do need to be remembered.

I agree, Hammy, this is not worth leaving over. We are always glad to hear from you whether it is often or once in awhile. Your complaint about the map is valid and can be resolved. I agree it should be a lot easier and more obvious how to access the map along with other useful resources that have links prominently displayed on the pages of the site. At one time it was, and perhaps got overlooked during the last time the site was worked on.

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Originally Posted by Hammy8241

Now everyone knows what to do when they find the 'memorial' map......BUT HOW THE HELL DOES ANYONE FIND IT IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT IS NOT MENTIONED IN THE TITLES?
You may know where it is hidden but anyone else such as friends and family members will not! What is so hard about having it signposted?

I know you moniter this in your own time and fully apreciate your efforts and input and due to this, I am de-registering from the site. Good-bye all.

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Hammy! Chill :) The link is here: https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=242717. It's located in a thread at the top of the New Member Intro forum. Enjoy.

I guess I should review the map for duplicates. I haven't done that in a long time and it seems to be a problem with a few entries -- people will make a sticky, then change their mind and just make a new sticky rather than change the old one. Maybe they don't know how to change the old one -- at any rate, we end up with a few duplicates or even a few people in the middle of the pacific ocean (people testing I suppose). BTW, if anyone ever does see something that appears to be a dupe or an erroneous entry (say in the middle of the pacific), let me know and I'll delete it. Thanks, vw