My mom in surgery today

[LisaT]

I'm preoccupied today because my mom had a fall yesterday and broke her hip. She's 70 and still recovering from a knee replacement (same leg). Why she was out without her cane I'm not sure... She's in good hands in hospital in Calgary and undergoing a hip replacement this morning. I know she will come through it, but I hate not being there and it's a sad reminder that my parents are aging. I'm thinking maybe when she's released from hospital I'll go to Calgary and spend some time with them. For once I don't have any tests or particularly important specialist appointments coming up. My sister, who is their usual helper when one of them isn't well, is off her feet for six more weeks after foot surgery! Anyways, I'm posting here even though it has nothing to do with WG/GPA just because... I'm hoping that if anyone thinks of it they can send some good thoughts/prayers her way. Her name is Joyce. Thanks, friends!

[Alysia]

oh, Lisa, I am so sorry :crying:
I will pray for your mother and for you to have the strength to endure this :hug1:
from what I saw in your pics, she looks younger and def strong lady, so she can make it.
my father also fell few months ago, and fractured his ribs. it was weired story, I wrote about it here : http://www.wegeners-granulomatosis.com/forum/medication/3536-respiratory-exerciser.html
of course you can share. please update us how is she.
lots of hugs and prayers heading to you. we are with you and you mom :hug1::hug1::hug1:
please take good care of yourself as well, so that you will be able to be there for her.

[LisaT]

Thanks, Alysia, your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated. I will take a look at your thread about your dad. Hugs to you too! :hug1::hug1:

[Alysia]

I just remembered now that my neighbour did that surgery about a year ago. she said that the surgery was poosible one. she is fine now. her house is with stairs so I remember that on the first few days she couldn't use them and stayed down. but she recovered well.

[pberggren1]

Oh Lisa.....:sad: I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I will be in Calgary on July 14 to 16 to see my lung doc. If you are there then let me know and we can hook up. We will probably stay in motel village again as it is close to Foothills. I hope the surgery goes well for her.

My mom is 65 and I can also see my parents aging and their health going down hill. My mom was recently diagnosed with spondylolisthesis, which is a vertebra out of place. She is in massive pain in her legs, prob due to the sciatic nerve. She fell out of my brother's truck in 2011 and I tried to convince her then to see a chiro but no, too stubborn. She finally has an appointment with my chiro, but now she can barely walk. I hope my chiro can help her.

This Forum is not just for Wegs stuff. It is for us stuff. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chests. Never feel like you are intruding here Lisa, post away as much as you like.

[Alysia]

My mom is 65 and I can also see my parents aging and their health going down hill. My mom was recently diagnosed with spondylolisthesis, which is a vertebra out of place. She is in massive pain in her legs, prob due to the sciatic nerve. She fell out of my brother's truck in 2011 and I tried to convince her then to see a chiro but no, too stubborn. She finally has an appointment with my chiro, but now she can barely walk. I hope my chiro can help her.

This Forum is not just for Wegs stuff. It is for us stuff. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chests. Never feel like you are intruding here Lisa, post away as much as you like.
praying for your mother as well, sweetie :hug1:you are so amazing with your support for your mother and for us here. thank you :love:

[LisaT]

Thanks to both of you! Her surgery is delayed because they're waiting for the levels of her blood-thinning medication to decrease. They have to take her off it so she doesn't have a risk of too much bleeding. I'm glad they know what they're doing! Every time something like this happens (too often lately!) I thank God for the Canadian medical care system. Even though it has its challenges and funding issues, and it would be nice if more complementary treatments and services were covered, we are SO fortunate compared with many other parts of the world….

Your support is much appreciated. Phil, I am likely to be there and gone before your trip, but not sure yet so I'll keep you posted. My boys have plans to see a baseball game in Seattle around July 11th so probably need to have Simon back for that as he's very excited (but can't leave him here as hubby will be working, plus I'd like to take him :love::love:. I'd miss him too much if it is a whole week. Unless it's decided that I go after that Seattle trip. It will just depend when my family feels they need me the most. (don't worry, I won't overdo it. Just hang with my dad and sis, make some meals, which I need to do in any event, and visit mom at the hospital or spend time with her at home if she's been discharged. Being with my family fills me up… :hug3: so helping out won't deplete me.) Everyone expects and accommodates my afternoon naps and helps entertain the kids too. My parents live in Marda Loop area near downtown and I think my mom is at the Rockyview but I have to double-check because I was a bit stunned during the conversation.

[BookNut]

I hope your mom will soon be on her feet again. It will be a blessing for her to have you there!

[chris.wg]

I'm sorry to hear that lisa. Your mom and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Miranda]

Prayers sent your way!!

[Michael Bell]

Prayers and hugs:hug1:from the UK as well Lisa, hope your mum is well soon.

[godgirl]

Praying for you and your family. My Mom got sick with her autoimmune disease when I was 11. So I know how much stress it can produce! Remember to take care of yourself, and if you need to "talk", PM me. :)

Jen

[jvilner]

This Joyce is sending your mom Joyce, wishes for a speedy recovery.

[Debbie C]

Lisa , I am also praying all goes well with your moms surgery. I am sure she will be up and around with that new hip in no time. My boyfriends mother fell some time ago and fractered her pelvic bone and shoulder. She was in rehab for awhile and is also supposed to use a cane but refuses. It's their pride I think...makes them feel older???
Phil, I hope your moms visit to the chiro helps,she needs to do anything to prevent having surgery done on her back. My mom is so bad now after having to have 4 of them.
Prayers to all the moms and dads...where would we be without them !!!

[windchime]

Lisa sorry to hear about your mom. I won't say hip replacement is a breeze (I've had 2) but I hear the knee replacement is worse. I pray she will make a full and swift recovery. :hug1:

[Alysia]

good luck for your mother in her surgery today ! prayers coming from Israel :hug1:

[mishb]

Such advances they have made in hip replacements now.

My mother-in-law had one done over 20 years ago and she wasn't allowed to move for days and then she was walking with a frame with well over a month.

Now, a friend of mine (77 yrs old) had his done a few weeks ago and they had him up and walking with crutches on the 1st day and without crutches by day 3.

70 years of age is certainly not old by any means and I will pray that Joyce does not have too much pain after her procedure.

[LisaT]

Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers. The surgery was delayed until today (her blood thinners haven't decreased enough yet, and it's busy with fewer ORs because it's a long weekend here). so we're just waiting, and they have her pretty drugged up in the meantime. Right now I think it's harder on my dad and my sister than it is on her. My sister is recovering from foot surgery and spent the day in my mom's hospital room with her foot propped up. She can't wait until one of us gets there to help out! :rolleyes1:

[LisaT]

My mom had her surgery late yesterday afternoon/ early evening and was doing well last I heard. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers! I'll go visit and do what I can to help out (not sure how much that will be as I seem to have hit another bump in the road, sleeping half the day and up at 4 am with bad headache again. If nothing else I will keep her company, give my dad some breaks, help order takeout and get a part-time caregiver in place to help with her physio exercises, getting moving, and helping around the house once my sister and I go back home. It seems to be getting to the point where my parents need to consider permanent part-time help around the house, or assisted living so there's always help around when needed. They're very independent and my mom even still loves entertaining, so I think help in their home for the time being would be best. I actually had trouble keeping up to HER when she was here! I'll broach the topic carefully when her healing is more underway.

[windchime]

I'm glad the surgery went well. I'm sure they'll have her up and moving around today. No rest for the sick you know.

I tried recommending the assisted living to my parents, haha they said no in no uncertain terms. I even tried to get them to buy a condo instead of a house. No again. Now my Dad has passed and I would love it if Mom would go to assisted living, again NO. If the part time help around the house works that's what I'd do. Plus it will give you some peace of mind.

[LisaT]

They're already living in a condo and have been for years. I'm glad they don't have garden/property upkeep to worry about. I think you're right that help at home will be the way to go. They worry about finances but I think they can swing it.

[Alysia]

I am glad that the surgery went well. your mother is blessed to have you. I pray for easy and fast recovery for her. take care of yourself as well, so you can be there for her. :hug1:

[annekat]

Sorry I'm late responding to this thread. Sending out healing thoughts and prayers to your mom, Lisa, and also to yours, Phil.

[Beverly]

I also apologize for responding late, was without cell service for almost 5 days and without that I cannot be online.
Praying for your mom, Lisa, for a quick healing/recovery. Also for you, because not being able to be there is hard. Will be praying for you when you are able to be with your parents and give whatever support you can.

For you Mr Phil, praying for your mom that she can soon have some relief from the terrible pain she must be experiencing.
Love to all....:wub:

[Debbie C]

Lisa ,i am also glad to hear your moms surgery went well. When will she be realeased from the hosp. ? Don't over due it yourself,you need to remember to give yourself a break.

[chris.wg]

glad to hear the surgery went well lisa

[windchime]

How's your mom doing Lisa? I know you want to be there so be easy on yourself as you will get there soon. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[LisaT]

Thanks to all of you for your support. My mom seems upbeat and happy that friends and family are visiting. They've started gradually getting her moving a bit and will continue to do more. She has a bit of a cough from being immobile, which is somewhat concerning but she's in good hands.

My sister from Seattle got there last night and will take good care of them... She plans to cook some meals (and I know friends are already doing so), catch up on their laundry, etc. Between the two of us we will make sure they get a housekeeper/caregiver lined up before they're left alone. Mom has to take stairs just to get in her front door and neither of them will be able to bend to use the washer and dryer. Oy! In same ways I wish they'd let us move them to the beautiful seniors' home across the street from their condo, but they're not ready for that and I can't say I blame them. I've tried to convince them to move to BC for years. The Calgary sister and brother are super-busy people involved in everything and spending a month or two of every year in Guatemala. My Seattle sis and I are home more and could spend more time with them as they age, and I am their health-care decision-maker in the event of their incapacity. (They know I'd be the last one to 'pull the plug'! And of course I assume I'm their favourite, but I think each of us makes that assumption, which to me is a sign that we all felt loved growing up...:love: ) so I'd love to have them here but their friends and home and everything else are there, so... Probably lots of back and forth for us over the coming years. It's not far, only a one-hour flight. Good health care for me there too, maybe even a second opinion one of these days.

[LisaT]

Oh Lisa.....:sad: I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I will be in Calgary on July 14 to 16 to see my lung doc. If you are there then let me know and we can hook up. We will probably stay in motel village again as it is close to Foothills. I hope the surgery goes well for her.

My mom is 65 and I can also see my parents aging and their health going down hill. My mom was recently diagnosed with spondylolisthesis, which is a vertebra out of place. She is in massive pain in her legs, prob due to the sciatic nerve. She fell out of my brother's truck in 2011 and I tried to convince her then to see a chiro but no, too stubborn. She finally has an appointment with my chiro, but now she can barely walk. I hope my chiro can help her.

This Forum is not just for Wegs stuff. It is for us stuff. Sometimes we just need to get things off our chests. Never feel like you are intruding here Lisa, post away as much as you like.

Phil, I'm sorry I was so wrapped up or preoccupied that I forgot to respond about your mom! I'm sorry she's in such pain and hope that she finds some relief soon. It's hard to see a parent suffer. :sad:She's fortunate to have a loving son who I'm sure prays for her daily...

[windchime]

Lisa they will teach her how to go up and down steps with a walker, at least they did me. That was before I even left the hospital. With any luck she will only need the walker for 4-5 weeks and can graduate to a cane.

Phil I hope the chiro is able to help your mom feel better. Nothing worse than back pain.

[Beverly]

It is difficult not being able to be there with our parents when everything in us desires to help them.

You brought a smile to me when you mentioned maybe being the favorite. My husband and I are always teasing our 3 adult children about being the favored one, which is whichever one we are talking to at the moment. If we are all together, it goes back and forth, as if one of them cannot hear us:lol:. Lots of love between us and it sounds as if you have experienced that also.

I have no doubt that you parents will be well taken care of. You take care of you and that will bless them :smile1:

[pberggren1]

Lisa they will teach her how to go up and down steps with a walker, at least they did me. That was before I even left the hospital. With any luck she will only need the walker for 4-5 weeks and can graduate to a cane.

Phil I hope the chiro is able to help your mom feel better. Nothing worse than back pain.




Actually, she has no back pain. The intense pain is in her thighs, I think the hamstrings. I would guess it would be the sciatic nerve that is affected.

[Alysia]

Lisa and Phil, I hope that your mothers will get well soon. it must be tough for both of you to endure it :sad:
your mothers are blessed to have you, caring and understanding and supporting. my prayers are with you and with them. please update us how are they so far.

[pberggren1]

My mom goes to see the chiro for the first time tomorrow morning. I will try to go with her if I am up and ready by then. I talked to my chiro, the one my mom will see, and he said spondylolisthesis is actually quite common and he has quite a few patients with it and is very treatable.

[Alysia]

My mom goes to see the chiro for the first time tomorrow morning. I will try to go with her if I am up and ready by then. I talked to my chiro, the one my mom will see, and he said spondylolisthesis is actually quite common and he has quite a few patients with it and is very treatable.

good news :thumbsup: good luck to your mother tomorow. she is blessed to have you by her side :hug1:

[LisaT]

Phil, that's great news.

Here's a very quick update on my mom because my boy is waiting for breakfast. My mom has been moved to rehab where she will likely spend a few weeks getting her strength back and learning to get around again. She sounds upbeat and has begun 'holding court'--lots of friends and family going to visit her now. She's not enjoying the food, so that will be one of my priorities when I visit.

My younger sister just got back and she was exhausted from helping everyone... Immobile sister in one house (recovering from foot surgery), dad who's stressed out and lonely and not very effective at the moment in another, mom in rehab and SIL who can't lift her toddler in another house, as she's waiting for news on the success of her recent 'fertility' procedure... So another priority will be getting everyone separate help! Why they don't think to hire someone to come in for a couple of hours and Do what they can't is beyond me. My big sis is a superhero, so it wouldn't really occur to her to hire anyone ever (I describe her as having her own gravitational pull; she also becomes president or director of every organization with which she crosses paths... And she's now back at work part-time even though she can't walk, drive, or get to the bathroom without help.) Nevertheless, I will MAKE her have someone come to the house when her hubby's not there as I am not equipped to run between three or four places every day taking care of everyone in each place.) my family knows my limitations and won't expect the same from me. I will also have my six-year-old there needing entertaining, which will be the perfect distraction and therapy for his Poppa (my dad). I hope to start the conversation with my parents about looking into assisted living down the road... It won't be an easy one. That's the scoop! Not quite as brief as I'd planned, as usual.

[Alysia]

wow, Lisa, too much to handle at once.... take care and becareful not to overdo.
sending lots of hugs :hug2:

[annekat]

I'm glad both your moms, Lisa and Phil, are making progress, and I wish them the best.

[pberggren1]

Mom went to see the chiro last week. He said she does not have spondylolisthesis. So she went to see her family doc and she has a CT booked for this Thursday. No idea what it could be.

[LisaT]

Phil I couldn't decide whether to 'like' or not. Is it good news that she doesn't have it? Or maybe not, if it turns out to be something more difficult? I hope it's not and is something that can be remedied quickly. Alysia, I'm not there yet but my family gets that I can't overdo it. It's also not as crazy/stressful as when she first fell and was waiting for and then in surgery. Things should be a bit calmer there now. And I really do plan to find them all help and delegate because I know I can't even try to do it all myself. Thanks for your support. :biggrin1:

[BookNut]

Lisa,

You and your sister, and your SIL have a lot on your plate! Now would be a great time to research home health aides. My MIL was mostly determined to do stuff for herself. She would get exhausted and make her back problem worse. That meant her doctor would try stronger pain killers - till finally she was TOTALLY wacked out. One of us had to stay with her 24/7 for a few weeks. I took the opportunity to take the bull by the horns. I researched the services offered by our county's Office of the Aging, and got the process started. That whole thing can take as long as a couple of months. So - I called one of the agencies from a list they sent me and we hired someone to come in once a week to clean and help with her bath. Once she was off the pain meds, she was capable of being alone. She was crabby about the whole idea of a home health aid - but she had no choice in the matter, and once she had someone, she was thrilled to have the help. It cost her $40 a week until the county assistance came in. The amount she has to pay has gone steadily down as inflation has reduced her income. It started out costing her about $5 for an side for 2 hours. Then it went down to $2 and now it is nothing. It is often hard to persuade the WWII generation to accept help like this. We got round that by emphasizing that the service was paid for by taxes that she had paid all her life.

Hopefully you can get something going that will help your family out. I would hate to see any of you suffer from care-giver burn-out. I am worried a little about my husband with that regard. I do the cooking - but when I am bad that is about all I can manage. And sometimes I can't even do that. He is a very nervous person and goes into over-drive when I am not doing well. I worry about him. So - don't get overloaded if you can possibly help it. With your illness, you can perhaps do the research and phone calling needed to get some help going. Sometime for folks like your sister - it is one more thing that they can't fit it. Or - they view getting outside help as a failure on their own part. But ANY amount of help will keep your sister from burning out. Good luck!!

[LisaT]

Thanks, Jacquie. Yes, it will be high on my list of things to do when I get there; hire some help for them if they haven't already done so, especially my parents as my mom won't be able to go downstairs or use the washer and dryer (which is downstairs and requires bending). They will likely need to pay privately. They're retired, my mom is a spender and my dad has a 'broke' mindset due to growing up poor with 11 siblings. So it's a tug-of-war, but I'm as strong-willed as he, so I will loosen his grip on the bank card. :) I'll start by having someone come in and do all the things that haven't been getting done. He'll be so relieved he'll realize what a good use of funds it is, and that it doesn't cost that much. Someone who's good at what they do can accomplish a lot around the house in a few hours. Certainly more than I can these days. :glare: And don't worry, I won't and can't get overloaded. As soon as I reach my limit I start feeling so crappy I have to sit or lie down and not do anything else until I've rested... So that's what I do! Last night I fed my son dinner 1.5 hours later than usual because I hit the wall right before I was going to start making dinner. I had to lie down for an hour, then try again. (Hubby had to work a bit later than usual; normally when this happens he just takes over). Sometimes when that happens I just order in or stick a frozen pizza in the oven, but he was looking forward to turkey tacos and he seldom wants to eat actual food... He's a chicken fingers and fries and white-everything kind of kid. So didn't want to miss the opportunity of getting in a good balanced meal that he actually wanted to eat! I'm noticing more and more that I can't do much in the evening. So I'm just planning around being home and not doing much in the evening. If hubby is busy or too tired to clean the after-dinner mess, I just leave it until morning when I get a few new spoons hopefully. Still learning to let go of my idea of how things should be and how much I should be able to accomplish. It's a work in progress. The hardest thing is to remember not to compare myself to others. FB and pinterest can be very self-defeating. :mellow: I try to remember the saying I've seen on one or the other about not comparing your life to someone else's highlight reel.

[Alysia]

Mom went to see the chiro last week. He said she does not have spondylolisthesis. So she went to see her family doc and she has a CT booked for this Thursday. No idea what it could be.
I pray for your mother that it will turn out to be something simple and easy and fast to treat :hug1:

[pberggren1]

Now mom says that she does have spondylolisthesis but the chiro cannot help her. I told her she must be mistaken. She says no. The chiro told her the pain is not related to the spondylolisthesis. I said: You still need to have the spondylolisthesis corrected by the chiro. Parents, too much grief lately.

[LisaT]

Update from Calgary. My mom is now home from hospital and trying to settle into a new routine. My parents are both stressed and bickering because they're exhausted and my mom is in pain. The home was assessed by OTs who will come back and install a shower bar and whatever else she needs to manage here safely. I have been so busy with just the day-to-day that they need help with that I haven't had a chance to make many phone calls about the home help. I'm pretty much in the kitchen or in the car. Yesterday it was take my son to camp, take mom to an appointment, pick up sister (in foot cast) from work (which always means waiting around while she finishes meetings and gets stopped by staff members etc. who want to talk to her), drop sister at hospital to see friend whose dad was dying, pick up mom, pick up lunch, pick up sister, head home for lunch, take sister speed-shopping because she has nothing to wear, pick up son from camp, drop off sister at home, back home for a rest before back in kitchen to make dinner, fight with my dad while making dinner, both me and my son in tears. Sigh. Needless to say I'm exhausted and looking forward to even a trial shift of a home helper so I can take a break and take my son somewhere fun. He's been very patient with lots of boring adult stuff going on and not a lot of playtime other than when at camp.

Mom does not qualify for home health care because with my dad's help and the assistive devices she can manage bathing, grooming, dressing and bathroom. Household tasks are a different issue and not under the home health care umbrella. We have someone from an agency coming on Monday to do an assessment and in the meantime a friend has given me names and numbers of a couple of caregivers from the Philippines who are looking for work. So I will call and have someone come do a trial shift. It's tricky because my mom is used to doing things her own way (familiar story, I'm sure) and stands in the kitchen either ineffectively trying to help but kind of in the way, or sits and watches and (kindly) directs and corrects what I'm doing perhaps differently from her. My dad is just a wreck and very difficult to deal with. I find myself becoming the defiant teenager in his presence. Funny how we slip right back in to old patterns. Except it's not funny, it's really upsetting me.

Anyways, that's about it for now, I just knew it would help to share it with my GPA/WG family. I am here until Monday and my hope is to have a helper in place for them before I leave, and take my son on at least one fun outing so he doesn't feel like he's been either at camp or just sitting around the whole trip. I'm also going to line up my own helper for the day after we get back so I can have a good long nap while she plays with Simon! He did have a rather epic game of pool with Batman, which he described as "he did the 8 the best" (fancy sinking of the 8-ball at the end of the game). I think thus far it's been the highlight of his time here. He also played some kind of cool hand-game with Alysia, who stepped in as he was trying to climb up my body and I was getting exasperated; just when I needed her to! Gotta love having another mom on hand, they just get it... My sister and I are also planning a bit of an intervention with my brother, who is very busy saving the rest of the world but either doesn't see the need or doesn't have the time, to help out our parents. I'm going to suggest that since he doesn't have the time he contribute what he IS able, by helping with the cost of the home help. My parents have a beautiful home and comfortable life but are retired and don't have enough cash flow or at least feel that they don't--I don't know enough about their finances to know whether it's a valid concern or more of a fear--either way my dad will resist taking on the expense...

Wow I'm really rambling here... I could go on and on and on... But I feel somewhat better and can always add more later. Thanks for listening!!

[pberggren1]

I know how you feel Lisa. It is not easy for sure. Ask your dad flat out what the income is and expenses and cash on hand and other monies and investments are and do a budget. Then ask your brother what his cash flow is like. I would think between the 4 siblings something can be arranged. I know it will be hard for you to leave in a couple days.

[Alysia]

wow Lisa, it sounds crazy..... you don't have a min to breath :sad:
my mother has parkinson disease for many years and in the last 9 years she has a girl from the phillipines who helps her, with everything: dressing, house keeping, cooking. she even makes her pedicure.
I hope someone else will come to give you some help becauer after all you need to keep your spoons....
I wish I was living near, so I could have come to help....
sending lots of hugs. take care. :hug1::hug2:

[LisaT]

So far, thank G-d, I've been ok while here and when u can't do any more I stop. Today is my last day and we're all heading to my brother's for a BBQ dinner, so I'm off cooking duty for the evening and we have leftovers for lunch! Yay! The day of non-stop driving was hilarious in some ways, I was calling my dad's truck the gimp-mobile SO politically incorrect I know, no disrespect intended but my mom and sister were both making light of the situation, humour heals and all that, and complaining that I don't have room for all the assistive devices in the back... My sister used a scooter that she kneels on with the leg on which she's had foot surgery, and she scoots around her job with a Barbie basket and a bell to ring... It's pretty cute! And my mom has a walker...

the beautiful thing about all of this for me is that I have whooped Wegener's ASS these past few days and once I've had a good rest, haven't felt worse for wear! That could change when I get home and decompress, and I'm prepared for that, but I'm proud of what I've been able to manage, and I realize that I've improved because there's no way I could have done this a few months ago. And now, everyone here needs breakfast. :)

[LisaT]

I haven't been here in ages... As expected I came back exhausted and have been sort of crashing on and off... I'll have a good day or portion of a day (in which case I'm busy with the kids in the nice weather), and then I'll hit the wall and sleep for as many hours as life will let me rest uninterrupted. The day before yesterday it was a three-hour 'nap' until hubby and kids came home and woke me, then back to bed two hours later when the kids went to sleep. This is the only way I can survive/make up for the busier times. I did manage an overnight trip to whistler with my family and some fun with the kids. Unfortunately, I've been exhausted since and awoke this morning with a virus or something, stuffed nose, sore throat etc., which now makes me a bit panicky because of all the breathing problems and choking I've had in the past due to subglottic stenosis. I'm trying to remind myself that the stenosis is better and I should be able to keep a clear airway even if congested, at least I think that's the case. I was supposed to take the kids somewhere today but will have to rest... Fortunately I booked my sitter for this morning because I was planning to do some tidying up. I will just go back to bed when she comes. :( this is why 'the list' is never-ending and things don't get done, but I try to remember that my kids will have good memories of time spent together and won't be remembering how organized or disorganized my pantry is. When I finally get that great day that I feel well, the kids are in school, I don't have an appointment or test and I'm not exhausted by the time I've loaded the dishwasher, I will organize the pantry.. And the craft supplies... And the garage... And everything else I've been meaning and wanting to get to for years. I'd love to get back something more resembling a 'normal' energy level but as long as I need the extra rest I have to make myself get it, or nothing else works. Once I hit the wall I'm pretty much useless anyways. This is one of the lessons of this disease that I keep learning (or not) over and over again. It's hard to pace yourself when you're so relieved to finally have some energy, but the. It's so easy to overdo it and become depleted again.... Sorry this is so rambling, but I guess if there's anywhere I can get away with it is is the place. I will try to catch up on others' posts too, I've been thinking about y'all and just had my hands full.

[annekat]

Nice to hear from you, Lisa! It all sounds like what we all can relate to. You have been through a lot lately and it is no wonder you are exhausted. I also have a houseful of disorganization but no houseful of kids to go with it. So I think you are doing fine keeping the kids' needs met, utilizing a sitter, etc., and you can only do what you can only do. I don't remember what treatment you are on or whether you even got a real diagnosis. If you are getting a standard treatment, your bloodwork should be improving and yes, you will get back closer to a "normal" energy level. I realize you have another issue besides the Wegs, and don't know how that fits in to the overall picture of day to day life. In any case, keep rambling away, whenever you want! We are up for it. :smile1:

[lag713]

Caring for parents is tough especially when they have other ideas about what is best. I can't imagine how wiped you must feel with all of that on your plate. I'm sorry that I'm just noticing this thread. I've been trying to help my in-laws with my husband's paternal grandmother. She was recently diagnosed with stage 3-4 dementia and providing the right care has been a challenge. I worry about what it will be like when my husband and I have to help our aging parents. I hope they plan financially for their retirement but both sets plan to retire early and I wonder if they will be able to absorb costs. My brother-in-law refuses to see his grandmother because he "wants to remember her the way she was" which is a completely bs. So, that would leave my husband and I caring for two sets of parents. It's a nightmare. I wish you the best of luck with broaching these tough topics with your brother and father. Money becomes a touchy issue but it shouldn't when other siblings are bending over backward trying to make it work. I know what you mean about hitting a wall and sleeping uninterrupted for hours. I slept 11 hours on Saturday night and I needed every second. I think you deserve a hibernation this winter!

[LisaT]

Caring for parents is tough especially when they have other ideas about what is best. I can't imagine how wiped you must feel with all of that on your plate. I'm sorry that I'm just noticing this thread. I've been trying to help my in-laws with my husband's paternal grandmother. She was recently diagnosed with stage 3-4 dementia and providing the right care has been a challenge. I worry about what it will be like when my husband and I have to help our aging parents. I hope they plan financially for their retirement but both sets plan to retire early and I wonder if they will be able to absorb costs. My brother-in-law refuses to see his grandmother because he "wants to remember her the way she was" which is a completely bs. So, that would leave my husband and I caring for two sets of parents. It's a nightmare. I wish you the best of luck with broaching these tough topics with your brother and father. Money becomes a touchy issue but it shouldn't when other siblings are bending over backward trying to make it work. I know what you mean about hitting a wall and sleeping uninterrupted for hours. I slept 11 hours on Saturday night and I needed every second. I think you deserve a hibernation this winter!

I think planning is key to effectively help aging parents. It's good to have discussions about their wishes before their health makes it imperative that they have more help at home, or change their living situation. Both of my parents have made me their health-care decision maker in the event of their mutual incapacity (otherwise whichever one is lucid will make decisions for the one incapacitated). It's awful to think about these things but it must be done. I'm trying to encourage them to make living wills... Detailed documents outlining in advance their health care wishes and the lengths to which they would want doctors to go in any given situation. The less guesswork I have if it ever comes to this, the better. I know they chose me because I'd be the last one to ever 'pull a plug' and it's a responsibility I don't take lightly. Thes things a re fraught with stress and emotion 'in the moment' so discussing them in advance with clear heads can be really helpful. I hope both of your sets of parents remain healthy and strong for years to come! My mom is recovering really well ( I think in my ramblings about myself I forgot to mention this?) and although she is getting nine hours a week of household help in addition to deep cleaning weekly, told me last night she's thinking about letting the caregiver go because she doesn't have enough for her to do. I suggested she think about the list of things she wants to do herself but isn't doing right now and write it down. There is tons that needs to be done, my mom is just independent and normally active, and used to doing everything for herself so not accustomed to delegating. There's no reason the caregiver can't tidy and organize with her or for her while she directs. They're supposed to be purging and organizing to get ready to sell their house. So there's no lack of work that needs doing.

[lag713]

Thank you for that advice. I agree with you completely. I'm glad to hear your mother is doing well! I hope she's back to her old self in no time!