Alysia
09-12-2013, 10:07 PM
Hi,
I'm counting my wg-years not since the acute onset, or the years of "smoldering" before, or since being definitely dx. I am counting them since the day I was thinking my life was over, and then I got them back. tomorrow's evening (my time) is going to be that day.
Here is my story.
It was already about 5-6 weeks that I had what the docs called "atypical pneumonia". I was after trying 5 kinds of antibiotic (oral and in IV) who didn't help but caused endless diarrhea. I had serious weight loss. I was anemic. I had constant fever. My ESR was above 100 (the norm is no more then 20 here). I was coughing day and night, strange productions, looks like white cheese. I could hardly breath or stand on my feet. I was already hospitalized couple of days and after bronchoscopy. Although one doc, outside the hospital, suggested wg, my docs were still in darkness concerning my case and what treatment they have to give me. my lungs in X-ray looks totally white. Only later I was told that one of the docs suspected lung cancer but ruled it out by CT results.
It was the morning before a very special day for jewish people, called "Yom-Kipur". It is a holy day for us, a fast day, in which we believe that God is making each one's verdict, if he should live or die, according to his sins and merits. In this day the whole country stops its movement for 25 hours. No cars are driving (only emergency ones), all the businesses are closed, no TV or radio or computers on that day. everyone is wearing white and going to synagogues to pray for forgiveness. It is a very quiet day. Full of awe.
In the morning before this day started, the top doc of the apartment came to me and gave me pred, 30 mg. it was like a miracle: couple of hours later the fever gone. I was so happy and with this elated feeling, my day of Yom Kipur started.
But then in the middle of the night the fever came back. like a monster in a nightmare which was real. I called the nurse and told her about it. It was the hardest night in my life. I was desperate. I cried. even that treatment doesn't work. I was coughing every minute. I was afraid I was going to die soon, since no treatment yet helped me. I was feeling that I will not be able to continue breathing much longer. I was thinking that God's verdict is dying.
Then, in the morning the doc came and gave me 60mg of pred. now I was very suspicious and thought I will have to wait for the next night to see if the fever will not come back.
It was still that scary day of Yom-Kipur. At the end of it there is a special praying, for "closure" of the day, The most important one. very slowly I managed to reach the synagogue of the hospital. I was sitting there, with my eyes closed. Crying behind my closed eyes. Tears all over my face. Desperate. Thinking that my life is over. helpless. hopeless.
That night the fever did not returned. God heard my praying. He decided to give me more time on earth.
I hope God's verdict about me this year is going to be a good one.
Thanks for listening.
I'm counting my wg-years not since the acute onset, or the years of "smoldering" before, or since being definitely dx. I am counting them since the day I was thinking my life was over, and then I got them back. tomorrow's evening (my time) is going to be that day.
Here is my story.
It was already about 5-6 weeks that I had what the docs called "atypical pneumonia". I was after trying 5 kinds of antibiotic (oral and in IV) who didn't help but caused endless diarrhea. I had serious weight loss. I was anemic. I had constant fever. My ESR was above 100 (the norm is no more then 20 here). I was coughing day and night, strange productions, looks like white cheese. I could hardly breath or stand on my feet. I was already hospitalized couple of days and after bronchoscopy. Although one doc, outside the hospital, suggested wg, my docs were still in darkness concerning my case and what treatment they have to give me. my lungs in X-ray looks totally white. Only later I was told that one of the docs suspected lung cancer but ruled it out by CT results.
It was the morning before a very special day for jewish people, called "Yom-Kipur". It is a holy day for us, a fast day, in which we believe that God is making each one's verdict, if he should live or die, according to his sins and merits. In this day the whole country stops its movement for 25 hours. No cars are driving (only emergency ones), all the businesses are closed, no TV or radio or computers on that day. everyone is wearing white and going to synagogues to pray for forgiveness. It is a very quiet day. Full of awe.
In the morning before this day started, the top doc of the apartment came to me and gave me pred, 30 mg. it was like a miracle: couple of hours later the fever gone. I was so happy and with this elated feeling, my day of Yom Kipur started.
But then in the middle of the night the fever came back. like a monster in a nightmare which was real. I called the nurse and told her about it. It was the hardest night in my life. I was desperate. I cried. even that treatment doesn't work. I was coughing every minute. I was afraid I was going to die soon, since no treatment yet helped me. I was feeling that I will not be able to continue breathing much longer. I was thinking that God's verdict is dying.
Then, in the morning the doc came and gave me 60mg of pred. now I was very suspicious and thought I will have to wait for the next night to see if the fever will not come back.
It was still that scary day of Yom-Kipur. At the end of it there is a special praying, for "closure" of the day, The most important one. very slowly I managed to reach the synagogue of the hospital. I was sitting there, with my eyes closed. Crying behind my closed eyes. Tears all over my face. Desperate. Thinking that my life is over. helpless. hopeless.
That night the fever did not returned. God heard my praying. He decided to give me more time on earth.
I hope God's verdict about me this year is going to be a good one.
Thanks for listening.