Some sadness in my life ...

[KathyB]

Hi all -- I've been out of touch for a while. Some of you knew my father had been ill and then broke his other hip and was hospitalized again for a hip replacement where he contracted pneumonia. Hospice took over his care and all of our siblings were in town expecting the worst and to say goodbye. Then only a few days later we were beneficiaries of what we called "the gift." Dad rebounded and it was if he was the dad we knew years ago -- at least a lot less affected by the Alzheimer's. Within a couple days of us all going home, dad went back to his ALF and we prepared again for his deteriorating health and the end. Those "gift" days buoyed our spirits, especially my mom. He was "with us" until he passed, although the last two days he was very quiet and slipping away. It was amazing how he could still hear and often react to a number of stimuli -- familiar voices and favorite music (classical, patriotic, and the Sound of Music). So peaceful for us all. Mom was with him when he passed away on November 4 (ironically just an hour before the baptism of the newest born in our family--twins). A couple weeks later about 40 family members (kids, grandkids) came to Florida and we celebrated dad's life and the legacy mom & dad began 62 years ago. It was truly a special time and we are forever grateful for the blessings of our loving family. Thank you for all of your kind words, thoughts, and prayers over the past months. It meant so much!
:smile1:
KB

[mishb]

Kathy, I'm glad you all got to spent some extra special time with your dad before his passing.
I'm so sorry for your loss though. The loss of a parent or a child is always very difficult, no matter what the circumstance.

You and your family continue to be in our thoughts.

[crackers]

the passing of a parent is always a tough time,but you got to see your dad again and all his loved ones were there with him also.i missed my fathers passing by a few minutes and he died alone, and more than 25 years later that still haunts me.we will all pass on one day and what better way to go than to feel the love of your family around you.
john.

[Psyborg]

My condolences Kathy. I am glad you got to experience that rebound.

[JeanMarie]

Kathy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. I hope you and your famly find comfort & peace.

[Dirty Don]

Sorry for your loss Kathy...but a very nice passing and ending it seems! Best to you and yours.

[pberggren1]

I'm so sorry to hear this Kathy. Your father is in my prayers.

[Pete]

My condolences on your loss.

[Sangye]

I'm so sorry, Kathy. I'm glad you had the gift time with your dad. I bet that made a big difference for you and your family. Sending you love and best wishes.

[annekat]

I'm sorry you have lost your dad, Kathy. I'm glad you got that gift of his rebounding for a time before his passing.

I lost my dad in 2011 right before my Wegener's diagnosis. I was too sick to go be with him but he was surrounded by other family. It was a peaceful passing, as it sounds like your dad's was, too. My problem is I've had trouble properly grieving for him all this time; it's as if my feelings are too buried to experience them fully. I do think about him every day, and I'm sure at some point something will trigger a reaction and it will hit me like a ton of bricks. It sounds like you and your family are doing all the right things to honor his memory and express your love for him and each other along with dealing with the process of grief. More power to you!

[Lightwarrior]

Kathy, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and send you light and energy.

[HopeinTN]

I'm so happy that you all had some fabulous days with him in the end and he got to be at home. Hang in there.

[Debbie C]

Kathy,I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost mine back in 1998 and I got back home from Fla. and saw him for only 5 min. Just long enough to tell him I loved him.It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through...that's why I live and help take care of my mother,I want to spend as much time with her while she is here. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family and hope you find peace knowing he is in a better place.

[KathyB]

[QUOTE=annekat;64634]I'm sorry you have lost your dad, Kathy. I'm glad you got that gift of his rebounding for a time before his passing.

I lost my dad in 2011 right before my Wegener's diagnosis. I was too sick to go be with him but he was surrounded by other family. It was a peaceful passing, as it sounds like your dad's was, too. My problem is I've had trouble properly grieving for him all this time; it's as if my feelings are too buried to experience them fully. I do think about him every day, and I'm sure at some point something will trigger a reaction and it will hit me like a ton of bricks. It sounds like you and your family are doing all the right things to honor his memory and express your love for him and each other along with dealing with the process of grief. More power to you![/QUOTE

Hi Anne -- Is it possible you are "okay" with his passing and don't feel the need to grieve (as we accept as the normal process of grieving)? I'm certainly sad about not having my dad anymore, but recognize the cycle of life and his ultimate passing as a part of that process. He led an incredible life and gave back to the world in so many ways. It gives me comfort knowing it was a life well lived. We all grieve differently ...

KB

[KathyB]

Kathy,I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.I lost mine back in 1998 and I got back home from Fla. and saw him for only 5 min. Just long enough to tell him I loved him.It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through...that's why I live and help take care of my mother,I want to spend as much time with her while she is here. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family and hope you find peace knowing he is in a better place.

Thanks, Debra. The peace definitely exists! I'm sure you have really made a difference by caring for your mom. Now that I'm not working, I want to be down in Florida all the time helping my mom but live in NC! My sister carries a bulk of the load because she lives in Venice near mom. I always anticipated moving back to Florida, but with the direction my life has taken (new job in 2006 then new husband in 2009) it's not going to happen any time soon. So I make the most of my time with her & did with my dad, too.

KB

[annekat]

![/QUOTE

Hi Anne -- Is it possible you are "okay" with his passing and don't feel the need to grieve (as we accept as the normal process of grieving)? I'm certainly sad about not having my dad anymore, but recognize the cycle of life and his ultimate passing as a part of that process. He led an incredible life and gave back to the world in so many ways. It gives me comfort knowing it was a life well lived. We all grieve differently ...

KB[/QUOTE]

Hi, Kathy,

Thanks for the reply. In my case, I think it has a lot to do with my dysfunctional family.... my parents were divorced and when he died, he had been married for 35 years to the woman who broke up their marriage. He loved us, but was a somewhat passive person, and the typical "distant" dad except for the times he really felt like being fatherly and funny around us. His new marriage created more distance between us, though I did spend time with him occasionally and learned to get along OK with "her". There was no memorial service and I was too sick to help spread the ashes, which would have involved a trip of several days. (I did get some of them, though!)

Not to go on about me when you are the one who recently lost your dad! But you are so nice to reply. I know there is still grief for my dad that needs to come out. I do think about him every day and have started talking to him out loud a little. One of these days, I think something will set off a good cry, and I'll feel better!

[jola57]

I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. It is always traumatic and long lasting. We never forget but the pain gets less with each year. You are in my thoughts. Keep well.

[Jaha]

Kathy,
I am so sorry about the loss of your Dad. I've not been on this site for a longtime and I'm trying to read all the posts I've missed. I think you and your family were very blessed to have him as you knew him in the past for that short period of time.