Heartbroken

[HopeinTN]

I’m having a tough week mentally. I think my weg’s is under control but my life isn’t. I have been in a relationship for 4 years and it ended last weekend. This sucks and I miss him dearly, but I know it’s for the best. I just need to get thru the heartbreak. It’s time to move on and get my life back in order. It won’t be easy but I’ll get through it like I always do. I miss my best friend and I hope this pain goes away soon.
　

As a very important lady once said..."Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs." ~ Miss Piggy

[HopeinTN]

Let me also say that life isn't all that bad. My health is much better than this week last year when I came home from the hospital. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Things can only get better once I get over the hurt.

Thanks for listening.

[Lightwarrior]

Let me also say that life isn't all that bad. My health is much better than this week last year when I came home from the hospital. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Things can only get better once I get over the hurt.

Thanks for listening.

I'm sorry that you are heartbroken. Please give yourself time to grieve...there is no right or wrong way, no right or wrong amount of time. Be good to you and know that we grieve with you.

[Al]

What Lightwarrior said, Katrina. This really sucks. It is hard road to travel without a solid soulmate. And yet, we cannot own another person's soul--only borrow it for a while. Wew can't take away the hurt, but remember that we will walk the same path with you.

Al

[Debbie C]

Sorry about your break-up Katrina, 4 years is a long time but believe me things will get better.I was married twice.The first guy I was with him for a 6 years before we got married,when I went away to airline school he cheated on me with my best friend..needless to say left them both....then I found my second hubby and was with him for 16 yrs things just went wrong there but we remained best friends until he was found drowned a couple of yrs. ago. I have now moved back home with my mother and three months after being back here ran into a guy I've know forever (he was at my 1st wedding) and we've been together for almost 11 yrs now.So things always happen for a reason and there is someone out there just waiting for you. So for now concentrate on yourself (learn how to dance in the rain) and when you least expect it.........

[HopeinTN]

Thanks guys. Bad timing, but is it ever good. I've never been married and was for sure this was the one and we were on the same page about having a family...then came Wegs, turned 40, treatment that may keep me from having children of my own, he bolts, but through it all I have my Wegs family. When it's hard trying to keep it together I know I have ya'll!

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know it could be worse and there are others suffering for far more, but it sucks. My dog is even mopping around. They were thick as thieves.

[Debbie C]

I know its rough but if he bolts when things go bad, especially when your ill , he doesn't seem like the right guy anyway...maybe in time he'll realize what he had and come back. Hang in there

[HopeinTN]

I agree. I need someone that will be there for me in sickness and in health. He's not the one and in my heart I feel I can't take him back. There's more to the story...he broke up with me last year when I was in the hospital. I know, I should have never taken him back, but I did. He said and did all the right things, and even appoligized to my family for not being there for me. He got me at my weakness not to mention the loads of medication I was on, and not making good decisions. My family went home to Kentucky from Tn thinking I was in good hands. Think about drivimg yourself to the hospital with a kidney infection and kidney stone and then 2 weeks later driving back to the hospital due to fluid build up on my lung and getting a thoresentisis. I should have never forgiven him. Although, I do realize things like this can be hard on people that have never been thru sickness. But he should have manned up and and did the right thing.

I mean, at my sickest, it's not like I needed much. I couldn't handle almost everything. Support and comfort would have been ideal.

Anyway, he will realize how good he had it and he may even want to come back, but my door isn't open. That's the part that really sucks. Realizing that I don't need him in my life and that I want it to be final. It hurts.

[Debbie C]

Believe me I know it hurts,Katrina, but at least you know you deserve better and it may take some time but you will find someone who will treat you the way you should be and take care of you when you need it. In the meantime you have your dog to love !

[pberggren1]

Katrina, you are in my prayers.

[annekat]

You have my sympathy, Katrina. All the right words and feelings have been expressed here, and you are showing inner strength while going through the loss. It hasn't been long, the wound is still fresh, and you'll feel better little by little as time goes by. You'll make other friends and meet new potential mates. I'm so glad this forum is here for you to lean on. Everyone here is so kind and we needn't ever hesitate to open up about what we are going through. Do something extra nice for yourself.

[Dryhill]

Katrina, I am glad you have realised that he cannot be trusted to be there when you need the most support. If he comes back asking for forgivness you must be resolute in saying no, someone who can walk out twice on someone they profess to love just becuase life is a little tough, is defianately not to be trusted and given a third chance.

My wife and I have not lived together for about 22 years, yet when we learnt that she had got Menier's Disease I offered help whenever she needed it. Now I have WG I have not been able to help as much, but I still do what I can when necessary. Likewise every time I had an infusion of cyclophosamide she used to come round and do some of my house work. My neighbour sometimes helps me by cutting my lawn, another cleared my drive of snow earlier this year, just as BWG (Befor WG) when I cut my lawn I used to go and cut the two lawns of the 90+ year old guy across the road. This is basic caring for one another person and if someone is supposedly in love surely they will do all this plus more for their beloved?

Look after yourself Katrina, and try and stay positive. You are also in my prayers.

Jim

[HopeinTN]

You guys are great and so true. I know I will get thru this but I hope it flies by. I couldn't do it without the sweet and encouraging words on here.

I have always been there for everyone in my life and I deserve that in return. Yes, pray that I stay strong and stick to my guns. It feels different this time and I know I'll move on and without him. I can't wait for the day when I don't feel like I'm forgetting or missing something (like to text him good morning or call to say hello).

In time and until then, thanks!

[mishb]

Good for you Katrina.

If I was you, I would try and start living by your little profile words......Do more of what make "YOU" happy
Get that right and everything will start falling in place.

And just remember to always ........

[Sangye]

A friend shared one of her grief coping strategies with me: A good deal of our grief when losing a loved one is worsened by triggers in our environment-- the empty chair at the breakfast table, the cellphone ringtone that belonged to them, etc.... She said that when these triggers appear you might be having an okay day --maybe even having a good day-- and then that trigger launches you right back into the pain. You keep getting hijacked by the triggers. To mediate this, she did things like rearrange the furniture in a room to disrupt the visual triggers. It works. Obviously it doesn't take away all the grieving-- that is necessary work which needs to happen. But it makes a big difference on a daily basis and can help get you out of that acute pain.

[HopeinTN]

That is great advice. I have taken a few steps in this direction such as deleting all the football games and shows that he had stored in my DVR. I've removed all photos from frames and deleted all from my phone and online. I couldn't bring myself to do this last year, so that I can now, is a good sign. He had lots of things at my houe and all have been boxed up and ready to be shipped, or sold. Ha.

I just called a friend to come by the house after work to re-arrange furniture. It has to help. The only thing that I will have trouble with is football season. We are both big Alabama football fans and I can't even think about watching a game without him. This will get better with time, but it was our thing.

Thanks again for the advice. I'm willing to try anything.

[Sangye]

Getting rid of stuff is probably a very good thing for the end of a romantic relationship, but for grieving in general she didn't mean that the way to eliminate the triggers is to eliminate the things associated with them. It's more like rearrange them and rearrange your day so that your mind doesn't automatically play the same tape. What brought this on was that her family dog had died suddenly. The dog had loved to sit on a particular chair under the window. Every time they looked at the chair it triggered the thought, "She's not here anymore." So they moved the chair and that trigger eased. They could walk into the room and not immediately be hijacked by thoughts of their missing dog. This woman had a seriously ill son who had the most horrific series of illnesses from time he was born and died last year at age 13. He had actually come up with the trigger-shift notion when their beloved dog died-- a truly incredible insight for a young boy. He was like that.

[HopeinTN]

Wow. That really make my situation seem not too bad. What a cool kid and wise beyond his years. Sorry for their loss.

[Al]

Another thing, Katrina. I understand the desire for a family of your own. Children are a real blessing (unless they are not!). Yet, Family can be defined in many different ways, and far be it for me (or anyone) to decide which ways are better than others. I'm glad that you consider us as family in this sense. I hope we never disappoint you!.

Al

[HopeinTN]

Al, yes, you guys are my family and thanks for that! I have a great family that is very supportive and just up the road in Ky. If not a family of my own, at least a partner in crime to spend forever with. Not too much to ask. Right?

[Dryhill]

[QUOTE=HopeinTN;59922 We are both big Alabama football fans and I can't even think about watching a game without him. This will get better with time, but it was our thing.[/QUOTE]


Katrina, can you find a friend who also supports your team and agree to watch the games together, or how about watching a game with a friend who supports the opposing side? My younger daughter and I support different London soccer teams and we used to watch the matches on tv together, my team frequently used to let her team win (for some reason she did not agree with my reasoning for her team winning). Watching any sporting fixture is no where near as interesting or exciting when you are on your own, I am just as bad as I will not go to the cinema or theatre by myself.

Jim

[drz]

One of the main reasons sports bar are so popular is so you can join the crowd to watch the big games on the big screen and not do it alone, next best thing to being at game live. Are sports bars an option or joining some other new friend to watch the games.


Katrina, can you find a friend who also supports your team and agree to watch the games together, or how about watching a game with a friend who supports the opposing side? My younger daughter and I support different London soccer teams and we used to watch the matches on tv together, my team frequently used to let her team win (for some reason she did not agree with my reasoning for her team winning). Watching any sporting fixture is no where near as interesting or exciting when you are on your own, I am just as bad as I will not go to the cinema or theatre by myself.

Jim

[HopeinTN]

I take my Alabama footbal pretty seriously and being in TN, you are always the odd man out. I love sports bars, but we always went to the same one and there is one 1 Bama bar in town. I just don't want to take chances at running into him. We have the same circle of friends so it's going to be tough for awhile.

This may saound crazy but this heartbreak hurts worse than my surgery, and that wasn't fun. I guess because there was medication for that. Too bad there is no vitamin to help heartbreak.