PDA

View Full Version : The How of Happiness!



drz
09-02-2011, 08:40 AM
I found these hints on the internet in an email some one sent me. I think they can be very helpful as i have found several of the ideas seem to work for me. I enjoy watching the birds at feeders and sitting on the deck just looking at the flowers and listening (to what sounds I can hear) or feeling the wind. I try to go to some place where I can see happy people having fun and think about how fortunate I am to still be able to do that. I need to try some of the other ideas listed below.





(from The How of Happiness (http://chass.ucr.edu/faculty_book/lyubomirsky/) by Sonja Lyubomirsky)
The fact is you can increase your happiness level with intention and practice. Like anything that is repeated over time, happiness can become a habit!
Gail Danchig, MA, the founder of Courageous Happiness®, (http://www.courageoushappiness.com/) teaches that by combining mindfulness (http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/stress), creativity and positive psychology (http://www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu/), we can learn to better deal with challenging life issues and increase our level of happiness, resilience, optimism and well-being.
Who wouldn’t want that?
I asked Gail to share with our readers some of the exercises she uses in her Courageous Happiness® (http://www.courageoushappiness.com/)seminars that can become a part of a daily happiness practice.
Five things you can do that will increase your Happiness:

1- Keep a gratitude journal – Each night, write down three things you’re grateful for from that day. They can be simple gifts and appreciations of the day or big meaningful events that occurred. As you go to sleep, go over the three gratitudes in your mind, taking in the good feelings associated with those you expressed.
2 - Do something that stirs your creative juices, without letting the inner critic stop you from enjoying the process. Read or write a poem. Sing, draw or paint. Dance to your favorite music or new music. Try something you haven’t done before. Be wild and spontaneous!
3 – Write down 10 things that bring you joy. Commit to experiencing more of them every week. Make a “joy” date with yourself or someone else, doing one or more of the things on your list. Do this without judging yourself.
4 - Spend time in nature every week. Be present with the beauty of what you see, hear, smell and sense. Breathe it in. Later bring in the memory and experience of this place. Savor it. Use it as a resource for renewal anytime you need it. ( Read more: Your Personal Nature Meditation, (http://www.care2.com/greenliving/your-personal-nature-meditation.html), The Healing Benefits of Walking Barefoot, (http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-healing-benefits-of-walking-barefoot.html) The Healing Benefits of Hugging a Tree (http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-healing-benefits-of-hugging-a-tree.html))
5 – Practice Self-Compassion by doing this loving-kindness meditation: Find a quiet place to sit or lay down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Notice what’s going on in your body, mind and emotions, being with the way things are without judgment and without trying to change anything. Notice any sounds or sensations. Breathe slowly and deeply into your heart. Say these words to yourself: May I be peaceful. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be kind to myself. Take a couple more breaths. Then open your eyes slowly, noting your experience.
A commitment to a daily happiness practice is the ultimate gift we can give to ourselves. I encourage you to find time each day to use these simple yet powerful exercises and watch your happiness quotient grow!

Gail Danchig, (http://courageoushappiness.com/) MA, MFT, the founder of Courageous Happiness®, is a licensed psychotherapist, registered expressive arts therapist, educator and life coach, with a private practice in Marin County, CA. She offers workshops, groups and consultation in her studio and through various universities and agencies. To learn more about Gail’s work, go to www.CourageousHappiness.com (http://www.courageoushappiness.com/)


Read more: Could You Be Happier? | Care2 Healthy Living (http://www.care2.com/greenliving/could-you-be-happier.html#ixzz1Wk7Xv2nv)

Sangye
09-02-2011, 12:43 PM
There is a famous Buddhist quote "Whatever suffering there is in this world all comes from desiring myself to be happy. And whatever happiness there is in this world all comes from desiring others to be happy."

NicShaf
09-03-2011, 01:08 AM
That's awesome. Thanks for sharing drz.

delorisdoe
09-03-2011, 01:40 AM
I wonder if i can think of 10 things that bring me joy?? I am quite sure i willhave a hard time finding 3 things that bring me joy? Joy is a big word.

Sangye
09-03-2011, 01:40 PM
Are you serious, Leigh?

mishb
09-03-2011, 08:56 PM
Leigh, that makes me sad .... if you are serious.
Joy is all around me and you are one person that brings joy (and laughter) to this forum.
I am sure you can find way more than 10 things that bring you joy....I know I certainly can.

Please say you are only joking :crying:

Trudy
09-03-2011, 11:46 PM
I wonder if i can think of 10 things that bring me joy?? I am quite sure i willhave a hard time finding 3 things that bring me joy? Joy is a big word.

Your avatar brings me joy everytime I see it. I can't help but chuckle, yet I really feel like that little green being!

drz
09-04-2011, 10:23 AM
I wonder if i can think of 10 things that bring me joy?? I am quite sure i willhave a hard time finding 3 things that bring me joy? Joy is a big word.

Maybe you need to start with the self compassion if you are being that hard on yourself. Or are you setting the bar way to high for joy. For example, three things in last minute that gave me joy: seeing the hummingbirds at the feeder, seeing the colored peppers and flaming flowers on window box, seeing our old dog jump for joy when we give her a little attention, enjoying a cool refreshing drink. etc

delorisdoe
09-04-2011, 10:51 AM
well, I am not joking. I have spent alot of time thinking about this since I read this post. Maybe as drz says it is my definintion of joy that is off. I have come up with only 2 things that make me feel joy. One is when I am fishing and a fish bites. I fish once a year at most so ha ha not too often. The second joy I feel is when my favorite nascar driver wins a race. I always go for the scrappy underdogs in any type of contest so again I am lucky if he wins one race a year.

By using drz's def of joy I do like my garden and I have 3 employees that make me laugh at least once a day.

I am not depressed but at the same time I am not happy nor satisfied. I try very hard to no avail I am afraid.

Sangye
09-04-2011, 11:03 AM
That might be depression, Leigh. It comes in a lot of shades.

delorisdoe
09-04-2011, 11:11 AM
I dont feel sad. Once and a while I entertain the idea of running away forever but never seriously.

delorisdoe
09-04-2011, 11:12 AM
Your avatar brings me joy everytime I see it. I can't help but chuckle, yet I really feel like that little green being!

I feel pressure to never change him now. Good thing he is cute

Trudy
09-04-2011, 12:13 PM
Leigh
Maybe you are overthinking it. If I look at the overall picture..... (for me) my youngest is struggling with lupus, my husband is off work with a broken ankle, my doctor wants me to start treatment, etc......I am definitely depressed. Try little......wow the coffee smells good in the morning, my 20 month old grandson said please today, I rescued the rice just before it scorched. The little stuff keeps us going. Somedays it is hard to find, i admit. That is why this forum is so great. I can be joyful that someone else really gets how I feel. I have been on other forums (since I also have lupus), and there is not the help nor the wit that lives here. Even if you have to say this is a great day because I didn't stub my toe....then again with polyneuropathy I probably wouldn't know if I did!

Although I would miss the little green being when you get tired of it....you found it to brighten our day and I am sure you would find something just as clever. BTW does it have a name?

marta
09-04-2011, 01:53 PM
Hey Leigh, this is slightly off topic but only slightly... I just saw your signature and it gave me goose bumps (or as Hana said it this morning boose gumps). I heard the song that you quote in your signature while driving my car to the city to see my doc a couple of months ago and I had never heard it before but as I was listening to the lyrics I found myself just weeping with joy because I felt like it was a sign being sent to me from whoever is in charge. I shazamed it with my phone and whenever I need a lift now I play it on my phone. I put that exact quote as my facebook status that night but only the near and dear got it. Thanks for reminding me of that moment when I felt connected with 'everything' and 'everything' was telling me that it'll all be OK.

delorisdoe
09-04-2011, 09:30 PM
marta,that is how I feel about that song too.
Trudy, I think It is the word joy Iam over thiking. Having said that, if I were to define my life id probaly use one word. "Existing"

Trudy
09-05-2011, 01:26 AM
marta,that is how I feel about that song too.
Trudy, I think It is the word joy Iam over thiking. Having said that, if I were to define my life id probaly use one word. "Existing"

Yes, this I understand. I feel in limbo land waiting for "the better days" to start. It is hard when you can't do just normal things. I find myself weighing the result of a day of shopping with my girls...few hours shopping then 2 days of couch potato. "Existing" really defines it well! This is why we have to look for "little" joys as a constant state just is hard to get. BTW what is the song?

gurinbasra
09-09-2011, 11:56 AM
These posts just hit home for me too because you really do feel like you're just missing out on life for those days that you're home and in bed. I've come a long way with how much expectation I've put on myself - no one else but myself - on being who I was before, doing what I was before and the guilt of all those sick days where I call into work that I can't make it today. I've come to accept that this is how my life is and it's OK, it's really OK. Maybe, I'm not having too many bad days now - feeling great lately, but I still get those odd days when I feel like my body is fighting some cold or I'm just worn out because I've been doing "normal" stuff. Expectations and acceptance - these two I have been working on in order to keep my sanity and find happiness with the beast that shares my life.

Keep smiling everyone!

delorisdoe
09-10-2011, 01:27 AM
well put...My illness-and the treatment of it-affected my life negatively in ways I have not been able to correct to this day. I have many regrets-wrong word-that I try not to think about but the long term effects of this drug and disease have their say in it and dont allow me to forget completely.

delorisdoe
10-04-2011, 05:17 AM
Oprah Feeling I Gotta Feeling Live at Oprah's 24th Season Kickoff Party - YouTube (http://youtu.be/MbqrQTp50DY)
I forgot...this video brings me joy when I watch it.

marta
10-04-2011, 06:47 AM
Thanks for that Leigh. I loooove that song. It was our song when my sis and I went to Mexico for a girls vacation just before I got sick. It's my skiing, biking, running and get ready to go out for some dancing song. It gives me motivation and puts me in the right state of mind and when it gets going (you know the part) I can turn it up a notch - whatever I'm doing. Love it!

marta
10-04-2011, 07:27 AM
On that note... I have a list of songs on my iPod that I call Marta's Happy Place.... Here's a sample of Marta's happy place - music really has a strong impact on how I feel. I also have my amazing family that give me more happiness than I could ever ask for.

Bob Sinclar & Steve Edwards - Together [OFFICIAL VIDEO HD] - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJDUqV_rBrY)

Bob Sinclar - Love Generation - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0NSeysrDYw&feature=relmfu)

Flo Rida - Club Can't Handle Me ft. David Guetta [Official Music Video] - Step Up 3D - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgM3r8xKfGE)

Michael Franti & Spearhead - Say Hey (I Love You) - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs)

Leonard Cohen Hallelujah Live - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzWeN-bVDUc)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF9fqx4H_Cg (Jack's other favourite band)

The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHixChYgGRI)

George Harrison My Sweet Lord - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wynYMJwEPH8)

starry eyed surprise - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Msef24JErmU)

Hot Chocolate (I Believe in Miracles) - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-p8bOoFlPo)

Sing for you - Tracy Chapman - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIdC1OP66GM)

and last but certainly not least a visit to the hospital....

Basement Jaxx-Where's your head at - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiHefsYBnnE)

OK, this gives way more insight into what happens inside the brain behind this keyboard than any post I have previously written. But it is my happy place. I listen to these when I'm bummed out, or if I need a boost to do something physical, and it use to be the music I listened to when I worked myself out before getting this stupid sickness. I will listen to them again when I am in remission and am stressing my body out to get stronger and stronger and stronger.... somewhere on a mountain top or something equally cool.

delorisdoe
10-04-2011, 09:00 AM
I took my daughter to a black eyed peas concert last year. I think it was the happiest I have ever seen her. Maybe I will make a cd list of your choices...I need something to bring me up.

marta
10-05-2011, 07:17 AM
I took my daughter to a black eyed peas concert last year. I think it was the happiest I have ever seen her. Maybe I will make a cd list of your choices...I need something to bring me up.

I love those guys. If Brian ever wanted to surprise me with something cool, a Black Eyed Peas concert would do the trick - nudge nudge wink wink Bri. I think Will I Am is amazing too - did you see him on Oprah paying off people's mortgages - just cuz.

Speaking of Will I Am, here's one I've posted before from Sesame Street, but I love it, and it's very US (not United States 'us', but recovering Weggies 'us') Sesame Street: Will.i.am's Song "What I Am" - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyVzjoj96vs)

delorisdoe
10-05-2011, 10:28 AM
love it. :thumbsup:

Sangye
10-05-2011, 01:22 PM
LOL Marta, ever since you first posted it that video cheers me up. I watch it every so often and sing along.

LisaMarie
10-06-2011, 04:42 AM
Ok I can think of things that bring me joy and as long as I focus on those all the other crappy stuff can be ignored for a bit...but reality is we have both and we all deal with it differently...trust me there are days i want to run away to a deserted island and live off fish and coconuts...but then I think of my kids and what i would miss...so it s like balance...gotta take the good with the bad....wish my family could understand that

jola57
10-14-2011, 05:46 PM
I cried and laughed, thank you Marta.