I am an idiot

[Kimbangu]

I am an idiot. But I have just learned a few lessons the hard way and I’d like to share them with you all, (mainly because I don’t often get anything worthwhile to contribute) – but also because I can’t believe how easily I have been caught out.

I have been in ( drug maintained ) remission for 15 months. I’m on 5 mg pred, 100 mg Imuran. I also take Co-trimoxazole, which ( I think?) is what most of you would call Bactrim. I am religious about my medication, I take it at 8 am every day – I have got one of those boxes where you can make up a week’s worth, with all the days marked on the lids.

So anyway. Yesterday was my birthday. Big celebrations, cards to open, phone calls etc etc. I very rarely drink alcohol since I was diagnosed but last night I had a glass of red wine with my meal, followed by another two afterwards while we were relaxing . What the hell.

But I was really surprised at the effect the alcohol was having on me. It was as if a big, dark curtain was coming down and I felt really bad. I said to my wife, that’s the last time I ever touch THAT stuff. She was giggling, because I was almost staggering as I went to bed.

Come 1 am and it's a different story- something’s SERIOUSLY wrong. I get up to go to the bathroom and I can’t believe how much my body is shaking. I haven’t the strength to get back to the bedroom so I fall asleep in the lounge. But it’s more than a sleep – it’s almost like a coma.

This morning I “think” I have the mother of all hangovers and I discuss it with my wife. I am saying I will never, ever touch alcohol again. That’s when I open my pill box and discover the “Monday” tablets still in the box. Because my routine had been upset by the birthday the previous day, I had completely forgotten to take them.

We all owe our lives to prednisone; it’s only when you forget to take the damned stuff you realise how crucial it actually is. By the really scary part ( for me) was how both myself and my wife were in denial about how I was feeling. Neither of us at any point thought it could be due to WG or pred. I just blamed it all on 3 glasses of wine.

There. I am feeling better already, having told you all. That’ s what this forum is for I guess. But it doesn’t make me any less of an idiot.

[Chris G]

Idiot? No, I don't think you're an idiot. There's nothing about this disease and the meds we take, that isn't ambiguous. Consider this scenario.....you're taking imuran, which is hard on the liver.......you had 3 glasses of wine, which the liver has to take care of also. I take mtx (also hard on the liver), and I've noticed that when I drink, I feel it much faster, AND it takes longer for the alcohol to wear off. Perhaps since it's been so long since you've had alcohol, AND the fact that your liver is working overtime on the imuran, you were more drunk than you would have thought. AND you forgot your meds that day, so you were weak from lack of pred? The ambiguitiy of this disease drives me NUTS!! :mad1:

[mishb]

Hi Kimbangu,
Don't be so hard on yourself, I guess it was a lesson learn't for both of you.....and it now won't happen again :blushing:

You poor thing........I hope you had a fantastic birthday though.

Take it easy

[Kimbangu]

Thanks! What surprised me- what I still find really scary- is the denial part of it all. I was very complacent, to just blame the alcohol.

Denial is a very dangerous thing for us, we do need to listen to what our bodies are telling us. I hadn't considered that alcohol would make me so vulnerable- vulnerable in the sense that I failed to recognise the symptoms of not having taken my tablets. It dulls the senses, - which is the LAST thing I need!

I am only still here on this planet thanks to prednisone. This has been a big "kick up the backside" for me. You can never afford to drop your guard, therefore deliberately dulling your senses is not a smart thing to do.

[Jack]

If you are anything like me, it probably will happen again, but you will pick up on it earlier. The alarm bells start ringing around mid afternoon when instead of starting to feel better, I'm getting worse. Time to check the pills!

[Sangye]

Idiot? No, I don't think you're an idiot. There's nothing about this disease and the meds we take, that isn't ambiguous. Consider this scenario.....you're taking imuran, which is hard on the liver.......you had 3 glasses of wine, which the liver has to take care of also. I take mtx (also hard on the liver), and I've noticed that when I drink, I feel it much faster, AND it takes longer for the alcohol to wear off. Perhaps since it's been so long since you've had alcohol, AND the fact that your liver is working overtime on the imuran, you were more drunk than you would have thought. AND you forgot your meds that day, so you were weak from lack of pred? The ambiguitiy of this disease drives me NUTS!! :mad1:
This is exactly what I would say if I had brain cells working this morning. Great explanation, Chris!

Don't beat up on yourself, Kimbangu. I am REALLY glad you're okay. I was worried about how the story was gonna end.

[Jules]

Kimbangu, thanks so much for sharing that. I regularly wish that I could just enjoy my breakfast without having to ruin it by drinking what feels like litres of water in order to get the cocktail of drugs down - your story serves as a great reminder that I should actually look forward (if that's possible!) to taking those little pills, coz what a mess we'd all be in without them!

[JanW]

Don't beat yourself up Kimbangu -- daily medication is tough to take and tough to remember when something upsets the normal routine, even after years, even when you know how important it is.

I take mtx -- also hard on the liver -- but I still drink weekly (doc is okay with it). Hopefully if I continue to reduce meds I will be able to enjoy wine with meals as I used to.