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View Full Version : When is it time to get a new doctor?



drz
01-31-2011, 04:11 AM
Here are five signs it may be time to “break up” with your doctor:
1. You feel the doctor blames, ignores, or criticizes you or the person in your care
2. The doctor doesn’t respond to your feedback, or becomes defensive or unpleasant
3. It seems the doctor isn’t taking your family member’s pain or other symptoms seriously enough
4. You find out about treatments that can help that the doctor hasn’t told you about
5. The doctor doesn’t explain treatment options clearly, resulting in mistakes
In this case, your best bet is to change doctors, and find one you can work with to provide the best care. Doctors often say that if a patient is going to change doctors, they’d appreciate hearing it directly rather than suddenly receiving a “sneak” request for medical records to be sent to another doctor. In general, I think they’re right; honesty is the best policy. But if you’ve had a truly unpleasant exchange with your doctor, I believe it’s your prerogative to find a new doctor and ask the staff to fax over the request for records. You’re not obligated to engage in another confrontation.
Either way, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief once you’re dealing with a doctor who listens respectfully, answers your questions, accommodates your requests, takes your family member’s symptoms seriously, and works with you to develop a treatment plan you can all feel good about.

vincelv
01-31-2011, 06:48 AM
when your doctor isnt really taking you serious..your paying for him or her..so you should be number one priority when your there with them

Sangye
01-31-2011, 01:28 PM
Great thread, drz.

elephant
01-31-2011, 10:42 PM
Thanks drz, those are exactly the reasons why I left my internist a couple of years ago. I am happy with my new doctor!

JanW
02-01-2011, 12:40 AM
I think that when I doctor asks you not to "look things up" on the internet, that's a warning sign. I don't think that they do this so much any more (I used to hear this all the time when my kids were born in 1998 and 2001), because they recognize that an informed patient can be a helpful patient. But if a doctor wants to me your own source of knowledge on your own health - look out. What is he or she threatened by exactly? That she might have to spend five minutes clearing up misinformation?

pberggren1
02-01-2011, 02:11 AM
My doc encourages me to do research and go on this site.

Sangye
02-01-2011, 02:47 AM
I agree that doctors who say "Don't do any research" are not good to stay with, but there's more to the story.

Patients researching via the internet can be very helpful, but it can be a real problem for a doctor. When someone sees something in print it makes a very strong impression on them. I often had patients come in who had found incorrect info online or some expensive but useless supplement. Even though I spent LOTS of time explaining why it was incorrect, some persisted in believing what they had read. They'd get this glazed-over look in their eyes.

Also, the internet is causing patients to over-research and try to find every little bit of info. Some can become quite obsessed with it and convince themselves they have terrible conditions or diseases. Though I had many who did this, I think of one of my patients with this tendency. She was fearful of her children or her being diagnosed with something terrible, and if anyone got a weird bump or bruise she'd hit the internet. She'd call me half-hysterical and I'd have to talk her down. Many times I told her not to go on the internet until I examined them in my office or until diagnostic tests came back.

Pharmaceutical companies actually use this to their advantage in the endless tv and magazine ads. They know that patients increasingly want to self-diagnose and seeing the info in print will make it more likely for them to ask their doctor for the drug.

drz
02-01-2011, 11:10 AM
I agree that doctors who say "Don't do any research" are not good to stay with, but there's more to the story.

Patients researching via the internet can be very helpful, but it can be a real problem for a doctor. When someone sees something in print it makes a very strong impression on them. I often had patients come in who had found incorrect info online or some expensive but useless supplement. Even though I spent LOTS of time explaining why it was incorrect, some persisted in believing what they had read. They'd get this glazed-over look in their eyes.

Also, the internet is causing patients to over-research and try to find every little bit of info. Some can become quite obsessed with it and convince themselves they have terrible conditions or diseases. Though I had many who did this, I think of one of my patients with this tendency. She was fearful of her children or her being diagnosed with something terrible, and if anyone got a weird bump or bruise she'd hit the internet. She'd call me half-hysterical and I'd have to talk her down. Many times I told her not to go on the internet until I examined them in my office or until diagnostic tests came back.

Pharmaceutical companies actually use this to their advantage in the endless tv and magazine ads. They know that patients increasingly want to self-diagnose and seeing the info in print will make it more likely for them to ask their doctor for the drug.

It is a good thing that we don't have to worry about obsessing about our problems or worrying too much because we aren't like that at all!! :D

Minneapolismark
02-01-2011, 12:03 PM
BTW Dr. Specks is not a huge fan of Internet research.

pberggren1
02-01-2011, 12:14 PM
BTW Dr. Specks is not a huge fan of Internet research.

Really? Why?

Minneapolismark
02-01-2011, 12:34 PM
I obviously can't speak for him, but in the context of my two meetings with him this came up. At least for me in particular, he indicated that searching the web could lead me to draw erroneous conclusions. The best thing is to get decisive treatment.

He also indicated that I should try to focus on living my new life as the new me rather than obsessing about the nuances of the illness.

I can't say that this message was for everyone, but I've taken it to heart.

Now keep in mind that except for some lung scarring and a slightly collapsed left lung, I have gotten off very easily from Wegener's. My disease is well under control and most of my other problems were from two additional health issues that are now being addressed.

My doctors and I were somewhat blinded to the possibility that my symptoms indicated more than just Wegener's at work. It can become the bogey man.

Now please remember that the above is not straight from Dr. Speck's mouth. This is my take-away from my private meetings with him regarding my own particular case.

Minneapolismark
02-01-2011, 12:39 PM
I did tell my doctor straight-up that I was going to the Mayo. I am quite certain he was happy to see me leave. I think it was very rewarding for him to diagnose an illness worthy of Dr. House, but I think it was very unpleasant for him to play an ongoing game of blind man's bluff with a confusing disease tha was not really in his speciaty.

fHe as much as told me so. So, you may be doing your doctor a favor by finding a more appropriate speciaist.

chrisTIn@
02-02-2011, 12:57 AM
...you may be doing your doctor a favor by finding a more appropriate speciaist.

I totally agree. In the year prior to my diagnose my GP looked somewhat desperate and insecure from time to time. I think it was a relieve for him when I got a specialist that finally was able to put it all together and make the right conclusion.
For me it was, anyway.
I was getting tired of myself, so to speak.:glare:

JanW
02-02-2011, 01:23 AM
I think that whether or not your doctor wants you go on the internet probably has as much to do with your personality as with his/hers. For instance, in Sangye's case if you have a fearful/anxious patient, especially one who may look for things that are not there (such as is the case with many parents and pediatrics), yes, the last thing you want them to do is to think that runny nose on their kid is WG. However, for the patient already diagnosed with a chronic, potentially life threatening disease, I think that you want them to be able to use the internet so that they can be more informed as you speak to them. Which is not to say if they are not already familiar with the terms the doc looks down on you, but it was helpful in my case to already know what subglottic stenosis was, what the various treatments were, etc., before I walked in.

Sangye
02-02-2011, 02:09 AM
I had a great GP in Arizona but she knew Wegs was extremely complicated. She said she wouldn't treat me unless I was under the care of a Mayo doc. (We didn't realize my Mayo AZ doc wasn't a Wegs specialist) That's how it should be. A GP should have the solid support of a Wegs doc and should never be left to sort out what's Wegs and what's not.