Awkward Situation

[JanW]

My husband has just moved into temporary office space and the receptionist (for the entire suite of offices not just his firm) has an obvious saddle nose and trach. He would love to ask her if she has WG, but obviously, he's only just met her and doesn't want to offend her. He figures that she may never have met another WG patient in real life, might not know of options re: SS or SN, or just want to talk to someone (me).

How do you guys think he should approach it? Or should he leave it alone? If it were me, I'd just ask, but then I'd be looking at her with the same nose. It's a lot different if you're thinking that this person just met you and this is the first thing that they notice (the reality is, of course, that the first thing he noticed was the trach -- she's a receptionist so covering the hole constantly to speak).

And, on the off chance that there is a flaming Irish redhead here with WG working in the Grand Central area of NYC -- my husband met you today!

[elephant]

That is a hard one? But, I would still ask. Then she could correct him if he's wrong. Life is too short and if you could help her or vise/versa, why not. Go for it.

[pberggren1]

I say go for it. I myself would not be offended with an explanation.

[Sangye]

I would ask. How about something like "I couldn't help but notice you have a trach. My wife has a rare disease that almost caused her to need one and it caused her nose to change shape. She was only recently diagnosed."

That leaves the door open for the woman to ask what the disease is and to say if she has Wegs or is in the "undiagnosed" state. It also doesn't mention her nose directly. She might feel more comfortable pointing it out if she knows.

[elephant]

Sangye, your version sounds good.

[pberggren1]

Sangye's versions always sound good.

[Sangye]

LOL-- not if you heard me in person! Long before I had Wegs I was dx'ed with Foot In Mouth disease. I've got a severe case of it.

[elephant]

Oh Sangye, I still have foot in mouth disease. Sometimes I go into hiding.....;(

[pberggren1]

Isn't that the same or similar to Mad Cow Disease?

[Lola]

I think I would be inclined to mention only the obvious trach - not the nose. If he's wrong, he hasn't made her overly self conscious about her nose. If he's correct, no harm.