Depressed

[maria garcia]

I want to thank this forum for being so awesome. You guys have tought me alot. Your all so strong and seem happy even after being so sick with this monster. Your an amazing group of people.
I am very consumed like you have probably noticed in my threads. Im feeling so depressed all I want to do is cry even with the meds I take for depression. I just want to hug my daughter and spend time together. I love her so much and she has pushed me away completely. She says I treat her like she is dying that of course made me cry. I don't (maybe she sees the sadness in my eyes) Im even afraid of asking how she is doing bcse she gets mad and says finewith an attitude. She wants nothing with me and I want the opposite.
I don't want to go out or see people or talk to anyone. Ive pushed my husband away. My only savior is my four year old and a friend Ive made in the forum named Al! Who is going to slap me if I don't snap out of this. I really appreciate all of you.

[Al]

Maria, we do need to snap you out of this. It does no one any good, including yourself. I will send you a PM.

[HypnoticEyez]

I want to thank this forum for being so awesome. You guys have tought me alot. Your all so strong and seem happy even after being so sick with this monster. Your an amazing group of people.
I am very consumed like you have probably noticed in my threads. Im feeling so depressed all I want to do is cry even with the meds I take for depression. I just want to hug my daughter and spend time together. I love her so much and she has pushed me away completely. She says I treat her like she is dying that of course made me cry. I don't (maybe she sees the sadness in my eyes) Im even afraid of asking how she is doing bcse she gets mad and says finewith an attitude. She wants nothing with me and I want the opposite.
I don't want to go out or see people or talk to anyone. Ive pushed my husband away. My only savior is my four year old and a friend Ive made in the forum named Al! Who is going to slap me if I don't snap out of this. I really appreciate all of you.

Maria, you should read the book There Must Be A Reason: My Daughter's Battle With Wegener's Granulomatosis by Myrna Swart. She felt exactly how you are feeling seeing her daughter suffer with WG. Her daughter eventually began to respond to her much like your daughter does with you.

[maria garcia]

Sorry guys I was having a sad day. Im not good with holidays. But I feel much better today.


crazy me my emotions just go up and down

[Dryhill]

Maria, I understand how you feel. I have two daughters and if either one got anything like this disease I would be worried sick for them. It does not matter how old your daughters are, when things get tough for them they will always remain your little girls, but as difficult as it is you do have to let your ill daughter have her own space. Just keep hanging in there and be ready when she realises she needs you.

Jim

[mishb]

Hi Maria, from one mum of daughters to another, I feel your pain, but please know that it does get better.

My daughters were also like that when they lived at home. The rolled eyes, the looks, the yes mum I Know, I have, I will, Get out of my room.
We must have been the worst parents in the world.........but I wouldn't swap them for anything.

My youngest daughter has a condition called CVS (cyclical vomiting syndrome) and I got 'the looks' most of the time. Last week she messaged me (she doesn't live at home anymore)
The message was, mum I don't feel very well, I wish I was there for you to look after me.

Yes, they do grow up and yes, even thought they are absolute pains as teenagers, and ask any of their friends mums, they will say that their daughter is worse, they do appreciate everything that you do for them and even the little tiny things like sitting with them while they are sick.........it all eventually sinks in.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, let her have her little bit of space and know that she appreciates every little thing that you are doing for her.....even if she finds it hard to show it at the moment. She is just trying to adjust to her new diagnosis the best way she can.....As Jim said, she will always be your little girl (as I keep reminding mine that they still are)

Take care of yourself and .....................

[Sangye]

Maria, I'm just seeing this now and even though you snapped out of it, this may help you on another day.

Your daughter is being treated, things are going okay, and she is probably wanting to move into a more hopeful state of mind that is focused on getting well-- a forward-thinking state of mind. If you're stuck in depression, it would feel very heavy to her, as if you're constantly asking her to go back into the shock and depression of the initial diagnosis. It also becomes more about you than about her.

It isn't wrong for you to be depressed and have difficulty adjusting. Just try not to make it bigger than what she is actually going through. I suggest seeing a therapist for help in how to deal with your depression. Drugs are not enough. You have to do the work to uproot the causes. Many times emotional trauma like this awakens previous unresolved trauma.

[Al]

Hi Maria, from one mum of daughters to another, I feel your pain, but please know that it does get better....

Wise words, Michelle. I think (from personal experience, at least), that daughters sometimes find it difficult to communicate with their mothers--more so than with their fathers. (With sons, it seems to be the opposite, perhaps for parallel reasons.) And you are right: they do grow out of it. In the case of Maria's daughter, this normal progression is complicated by the untimely (is there ever a good time?) overlay of disease. There is no question here that emotions will dominate many situations. This is understandable. But the view from the outside (or from the future) can perhaps bring some needed reality to bear. Thanks!